i am freakin

[lummox]

i got a phone call this morning with the id 'united states goverment'. they hung up after i said 'hello'. wtf? are the fed bout to bust my place? is some intern makin prank calls?

i am freakin.

[jjd]

Dude, you better put the foil back on your head and watch out for the black helicopters. Also, remember to check for the tracking device implanted behind the invisible barcode tattoo that the secret mind control police implanted during your short stay at Area 51 performing sexual favors for the aliens from Andromeda...

[foraker]

if the dudes with the black helicopters were going to raid your place, i doubt they'd call first. :-)

[lummox]

the guns are stashed now. itzall cool. i think. foil cap back in place too. i think i will cover the ceiling with it just to be safe.

[Off_White]

They didn't like that little crack about the Halloween costume. Watch your step Lummie.

[Ducknut]

protect yourself from aliens

 

or protect yourself from the gubment

 

 

[Jake]

Whoah what a great site. One of the funniest I've across in a while. Woulda liked to have seen this one!

"As I was shuffling things around, three F-15s raced from behind the mountains in the pic onto the scene, trying to box it in by coming at it from all four corners of a square at the same time, at slightly different altitudes. The three F-15s circled in from behind the mountains in the pic, going about 1,100 MPH, at about 20,000 feet. The one on the left veered way left to encircle from the south, the right got the north, and the last last, the east. Then they slowed down. Then an F-16 screamed in from about 50,000 feet from the west, and then they all punched it, and headed for the spot where the big light was. The UFO instantly disappeared before the fighters even got close (as soon as I saw the fighters, I turned around to make some defiant comment to the UFO, but it was either gone, or it was still there, cloaked with the light out)."

 

How the hell does this guy know how fast the planes were flying and how high they are? Circling supersonic F-15s? Yeah sure - when you are going 1100 mph you're pretty much flying in a strait line - not much turning going to be happening. As for an F-16 at 50,000 - that's pretty much their ceiling and there is no way you are gonna be able to identify what altitude something is flying at - let alone see an F-16 at 50,000. Wouldn't even hear it. Got give the guy props for entertaining story though.

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

protect yourself from aliens

 

Quoted from the above site:

 

"If you think you see what looks like a 10 ft. by 20 ft. drive-in theatre movie screen pop-up a few feet above the bushes, wobbles around until it "focuses on you," and then disappears... hide, leave if it doesn't disappear. I think those are ground probes used when they're on foot so the can see you through the forest as they approach."

 

[Jake]

Oh yeah? Try this one.

 

"It's high time everyone knew what's going on, as it's the only way to get the public to fess up the money needed to build the weapons systems needed to defend humanity against whatever it is they have in mind - and the killer asteroid that's scheduled to wipe out Earth in 2017."

 

 

[bunglehead]

I love this kind of paranoid/crazy nonsense. It's so entertaining! Kind of reminds me of the Marfa lights:

[Ratboy]

"'92 to '00: All over camping and adventuring in the NW (Oregon, Washington, Montana, and Canadia). What I thought were bears, until the October '00 Grand Canyon incident, were actually invisible aliens hanging out with me on about every fourth adventure. And about every other one in the North Cascades. They would actually keep up with me, parallel to the trail, not fifty feet way, unseen and unsmelled, for miles. The first few times scared me, but since nothing ever happened, it just got to be another adventure annoyance I had no choice but to live with. By the sounds they made, they'd be not even thirty feet away most of the time. Some under ten feet at camp. They'd even be making bear-like sounds. So whenever I'd want peace and they were annoying me, I'd walk over real fast telling them politely to leave now, and if that didn't scare them away, and that would not only scare them away from all humans forever, it would have resulted in my ears ringing for hours."

 

This guy's a nutjob.

[Ratboy]

"About half-way through eating, I heard a bear breathing hard not ten feet away. There was no way the bear could have traveled that distance without making a ton of noise that I would have easily heard. I freaked and walked over to challenge it. There was nothing there, I could see in every direction for hundreds of feet, no smell, no sign, no tracks, nothing. I got scared, packed up, and left - which was the only time a "bear" ruined my peace enough to stop normal activities. Mostly because it was past sunset and I didn't want to deal with a bear going down the trail at night with just a headlight. Now I know what all of these things were - invisible aliens just messing with me by hanging out just feet away until they get bored, then they decided to make bear noises to see what I'd do."

 

I reiterate: this guy's a nutjob.

[Dru]

dan - could recruit some invisible bears to serve as independent third party speed timers?

[lummox]

turns out it was a friend who works for the forest service giving me a call. that dude had me doing some scrambling today. it would even be funny if i fessed up to him that he scared the fuk outta me.

[Jake]

Oh man I can't stop laughing at those quotes!