More essay fun

[foraker]

Just the thing to brighten up your Monday.

 

Walt Whitman, The Revisionist Biography

[Dru]

I'd give that an A if someone handed it in.

[Greg_W]

Fucking hysterical!!!!!

[bunglehead]

That's awesome.

[glacier]

Hamlet Test

[Blake]

Another great one

[badvoodoo]

Holy shit those are awesome.

[cracked]

Must be fun to fuck with your professors.

[catbirdseat]

That Amanda sounds like a horny one.

[bunglehead]

So, one must be From Peter Nguyen in high School and the other one is from the same dude in college? They're 4 years apart with the same name. If those are real, that'd be even funnier, and that kid's got a bright future as a comedy writer.

[Ratboy]

With essays like that, he's probably still in the same grade 4 years later.

[bunglehead]

Touche, Ratboy!

[fern]

 

http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~kovar/hall.html

[minx]

Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass

 

Abstract: The exponential dependence of resistivity on temperature in germanium is found to be a great big lie. My careful theoretical modeling and painstaking experimentation reveal 1) that my equipment is crap, as are all the available texts on the subject and 2) that this whole exercise was a complete waste of my time.

 

 

shit like this is why i didn't major in physics just friggin classic!

[Ratboy]

"Check this shit out (Fig. 1)."

[foraker]

My physics/chem lab fun:

1) yes, shitty equipment at a top 10 school. among other reasons, they don't understand why i don't donate to the college fund.

2) 3 hours to complete a lab which you've not had a chance to look at before you walk in the door. you must understand the lab, set it up, do all the work, write it up and hand it in before you leave. not handing it in before you leave constitutes failure of the lab. then, you get comments about "we're very disappointed that we aren't seeing any proper error analysis from you people". well, if we had the TIME you morons, the error bars would be greater than you would find acceptable.

3) moronic lab partners

4) sadistic lab assistants. of all the LA's, mine was the only one who gave his section weekly quizzes. often, he'd put unsolved research problems on them, and not tell us, just to see if we could solve them in 15 minutes.....

5) pre-meds who fuck with other people's experiments so that they get a better grade and get into the med school of their choice. i stopped thinking highly of doctors a long time ago.

 

For this, and other reasons, I was pleased to write the following on the return envelope to my college fund recently:

 

Famous University's Endowment Fund: $5 billion

My Financial Aid Package: $0

Satisfaction for Sending You Absolutely Nothing: Priceless

[Dru]

don't forget going to the library the week before classes start, taking all the required reading for your course, and misfiling it somewhere obscure within the library so you can access it whenever you need but no one else in the class can find it complete the required readings, as a way to bump up your grade.

[bunglehead]

We used to "misplace" textbooks all the time. If we didn't the grad students would check it out for the term the subject was being taught.

We had other more persuasive methods of subversion that worked quite well, but they might be "trade secrets", and I don't want any geek physics undergrads coming after me.