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Send it back


willstrickland

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Usually when I move, I never submit a change of address. It's a good way to cut down the junk mail quotient. I contact the few companies I want mail from, such as my bank, broker, insurance, etc directly and give them the new address.

 

Well, some wise ass at my last address decided to submit a change of address form on my behalf without my knowledge or authorization. So now I've started getting tons of junk again. Enough is enough I said. I got an idea from a website article I read recently.

 

I've been opening every single piece of junk, taking the reply envelope ("postage will be paid by addressee") sticking random shit in there (usually the junk mail from another company)and mailing it back to them. You send me junk, I send you junk back and you pay for it both times.

 

Several beer bottle caps, ashes, stems, seeds, and other random shit on my coffee table have also made it into envelopes. To the mass junk mailers and the database companies who supply mailing lists the_finger.gifmoon.gifthe_finger.gif

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I've been doing this for years. Sometime I put so much junk in an envelope I have to tape the thing shut. I just know they have to pay extra postage since its way over weight. One time I mailed then a piece of scrap 1/8" sheet metal, the thing weighed a ton.

Be careful some of the envelope have bar codes on them I don't know what they code but I black it out with a magic marker. I figure if everyone did this they would get the message. To bad you can't do this to junk e-mail'ers.

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On the surface, this seems like a useful approach to turning the tables on the junk mail onslaught. But the number of people doing this is still small enough that the mail costs for such false responses aren't cutting into the profit margin appreciably. Plus, I bet those that open the false responses get a good chuckle out of what's in there. Then, without further ado, a flick of the wrist sends it into the recycle basket next to their station. Also, return envelopes that aren't of a certain weight (i.e., overweight with nonsense material) are probably immediately chucked without even being opened.

 

What we need to do is get EVERYONE doing it. This will only temporarily solve the problem though. They will simply wait until the novelty gets old for us then resume their full-on mailing campaign.

 

When I receive credit card applications in the mail, I don't even open them. A quick rip and it's in two pieces and in my recycle recepticle.

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I've been doing this for a couple years, it doesn't seem to have slowed the flow though. I did ask at my post office, and they said you can't tape it to a brick anymore, but I could put whatever I want, as long as it's legal, in the envelope. I usually put the application back in too, I don't really care if they know it was me or not, so the bar code stuff doesn't matter either. Overweight things may not make it to the hands of the processors, but they still have to pay the postage.

 

It's not just credit cards either. My subscriptions to The Funny Times, Reason, Skeptical Enquirer, and The Nation ensure that I get a broad spectrum of soliciations, all dealt with in the same manner.

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I have done this and yes it was a lot of fun, but it does not do shit to reduce the flow of junk mail. There are a couple of useful websites that will reduce junk mail.

 

First go to the direct marketing associations web site and pay the fucking $5 and you will stop recieving all those credit card offers. It worked for me. If you are not quite as lazy as I, and dont want to pay the $5 then you can mail in a form that will do the same thing. This really does work. It reduced my junk mail by 90%.

Direct marketing web site.

 

There are other ways to reduce junk mail also they can be found on this site.

web page

 

Keep in mind that sending that shit back does cost the company money, but it also wastes resources and your time. Spend the 10 mins and do it right.

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From the web site...

 

 

Tactics that won't help

I assume that your objective is to receive less mail. You might also be interested in encouraging mailers to send junk mail less often. The following are tactics that won't succeed at either of these goals, but (if you're vindictive) might make you feel better.

 

Using Business Reply Envelopes to complain will usually not get the attention of the mailing company. If you attach them to a brick or overfill the envelope, the post office will discard them. If you send them back empty, or with a complaint about the catalogue you didn't want, they'll be discarded by the people who open the envelopes. The mail is usually opened by people who get paid by the hour, and aren't asked to relay complaints or count the number of replies that didn't contain orders.

 

Your use of the BRE will cost them money, but they'll never notice it, so this won't cause them to change the way they do business. (Unless the number of people sending empty BRE's becomes a substantial fraction of the number sending orders. This might lower the effectiveness enough that they'd stop doing mail order. Not likely.)

 

If you want the company to pay attention, get in touch with their customer service people. Most of the time, the company never even saw your name, so they can't do much to keep you from getting future ads. They buy lists from other companies, and those other companies are the ones you need to get in touch with. They might be interested if you were offended by their ad, but otherwise they'll just point out that many people order merchandise from them in response to the mailing. If you want to stop getting the mail, find out who they buy names from, and get those people to stop selling your name.

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