catbirdseat Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 Some guy asked me to post this for him. BALTIMORE—A team of scientists at Johns Hopkins University announced Monday that a five-year study examining the link between polyphenols and lower cholesterol rates has found jack shit. "I can't explain what happened," head researcher Dr. Jeremy Ingels said. "We meticulously followed correct scientific procedure. Our methods were sufficiently rigorous that they should have produced some sort of result. Instead, we found out nothing." Added Ingels: "Nothing!" As Ingels stepped aside to compose himself, fellow researcher Dr. Thomas Chen took the podium to discuss the $7 million jack-shit-yielding study. "We are all very upset," Chen said. "When we began, this looked so promising, I would have bankrolled it myself. Now, after five years, I couldn't tell you if polyphenols even exist." The study, which Chen characterized as a "huge waste of time and money," was financed by a Johns Hopkins alumni grant to determine the effects of the compound polyphenol on cholesterol. A known antioxidant found in herbs, teas, olive oil, and wines, polyphenol was originally thought to lower cholesterol—a theory that remains unproven because the Johns Hopkins researchers couldn't prove squat. Fuck all you morons! trask Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 is remote spraying like automatic writing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 I would say that remote spraying is OB. If you sign off, you sign off. nuff sed. Hey trask, get a new avatar or just come back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Szyjakowski Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 duhhhh, catbirdseat is trask....Sheesh. Morons! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted June 4, 2003 Author Share Posted June 4, 2003 I am afraid that trask is at this very moment experiencing "Spray Delirium Tremens" or SDT. He's trying to break free of his addiction, but as you know it is very hard and very few have ever fully recovered from cc.com. Most of the ones that have stopped posting have been seen panhandling at such places as Mercer Avenue and Fairview. In trask's case, he has built up such a huge tolerance for spray that he is currently writhing in agony. Perhaps we could get Johnny Destiny to say a prayer for him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregm Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 trask couldn't quit this board if he tried. he is addicted. he does not have it under control. he loves us. he will continue to spray here everyday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegetablebelay Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 No, I won't! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted June 4, 2003 Author Share Posted June 4, 2003 He's using surrogates at the moment. Those willing to act as "enablers". I don't know whether we are helping or hurting him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 Hurting him. He has to do the 12 Steps all by himself for it to work. Trust me... The Functional Alcoholic has spoken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshK Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 catbirdseat said: I am afraid that trask is at this very moment experiencing "Spray Delirium Tremens" or SDT. He's trying to break free of his addiction, but as you know it is very hard and very few have ever fully recovered from cc.com. Most of the ones that have stopped posting have been seen panhandling at such places as Mercer Avenue and Fairview. In trask's case, he has built up such a huge tolerance for spray that he is currently writhing in agony. Perhaps we could get Johnny Destiny to say a prayer for him? Whoa...so you are saying that trask is really that "visions of a cheesburger" guy!??! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted June 4, 2003 Author Share Posted June 4, 2003 So you are saying we should cut him off, cold turkey. What if it is too much to bear and he comes back begging to Jon to reinstate his account? Hopefully he got Jon to swear not to do it. Reminds me of Odysseus and the Sirens, when he told his crew to tie him to the mast and put wax in their ears and not untie him no matter what he said or did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysticNacho Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 JoshK said: catbirdseat said: I am afraid that trask is at this very moment experiencing "Spray Delirium Tremens" or SDT. He's trying to break free of his addiction, but as you know it is very hard and very few have ever fully recovered from cc.com. Most of the ones that have stopped posting have been seen panhandling at such places as Mercer Avenue and Fairview. In trask's case, he has built up such a huge tolerance for spray that he is currently writhing in agony. Perhaps we could get Johnny Destiny to say a prayer for him? Whoa...so you are saying that trask is really that "visions of a cheesburger" guy!??! The Cheeseburger man always seems to have a glazed over look a lot. I like the "I'm living in a tent with 3 children" lady more, she's nicer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregm Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 when trask posts here again it will be his affirmation of his deep and abiding love for us. my stopwatch is going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysticNacho Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 So why did he quit? Some sort of show, perhaps? Maybe he bet a friend in a drunken stupor that "I could quit anytime I want to....!" Or is this some sort of dumb troll? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshK Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 There is one guy near my house who has started guilt tripping people. If it weren't for the fact that I'd make his day by beating his ass and giving him reason to sue I would beat his ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted June 4, 2003 Author Share Posted June 4, 2003 MysticNacho said: So why did he quit? Some sort of show, perhaps? Maybe he bet a friend in a drunken stupor that "I could quit anytime I want to....!" Mark Twain once said, "I can quit smoking cigars any time I want to. I've already done it a thousand times." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 catbirdseat said: Mark Twain once said, "I can quit smoking cigars any time I want to. I've already done it a thousand times." Kinda like my motto: "I'm never gonna drink again... again!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 sobo said: catbirdseat said: Mark Twain once said, "I can quit smoking cigars any time I want to. I've already done it a thousand times." Kinda like my motto: "I'm never gonna drink again... again!" I read some where "quiting smoking is the easiest thing in the world, you just never put a lit cigartette in your mouth again EVER. It is the getting there that is the hard part." To me for quitting again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Szyjakowski Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 there are 2 types of people in this world smokers and non-smokers CHOOSE who you are and BE IT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fern Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faust Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 Damn. Thank a lot fern, I laughed at that cartoon then felt horrible about myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 Szyjakowski said: there are 2 types of people in this world smokers and non-smokers CHOOSE who you are and BE IT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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