tvashtarkatena

Ever.

So simple you'll never guess it.

The BOFA is a monument to improvised home furnishing practicality.

Why? You're just not funny. At all. You're like a one note pop song from the 80s, (Midnight on the Oasis, perhaps?) played over and over and over.... I don't know how you somehow misconstrued this comment as an attempt at humor. It wasn't. And your professional penis length comparison attempt? Embarrassing. Like a drunk at a party who has finally managed to captured the attention of the concerned host, long after his date has already slunk off to a less painful situation.

Now is that any way to treat your own flesh and blood?

"Science is one cold, hard bitch with a 14 inch strap on."

Do you need a handbag, Kevin?

even when the folds are swollen from trying to hungrily swallow too much at once

An action so easy one may take the zipper gently in one's mouth and slowly glide it downward

Supple, well oiled leather. Cougar, I believe.

A detainee never even gets a chance to be banned.

It's the kinda bag that you just wanna slide a memory stick into.

That Fkin shitz good.

I'll be she makes you want to take a shower. Don't forget your necktie.

Perhaps you were banned because none of your shit is even remotely funny.

3/20/09 07:49 GMT API: Obama took a full 15 minutes to poo this morning. During an economic crisis. He casually read the sports pages while doing so .

THe last president we could make fun of for going to the wrong war, torturing people, and spying on us. I'm thinkin this one won't have very long legs.

In Sonoma we had the Perletti brothers. Vince and Victor. Identical twins, they looked like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum in their matching overalls and crew cuts. Their voices were about two octaves above normal and their eyes, well, lets just say they didn't share the same compass direction. Daddy died on summer. It was three days before a workman discovered his body, still reclining in his Barkalounger. Curious, because the Perletti boys lived with him. When asked about it, Victor replied "We just thought he was asleep".

THAT was funny.

Don't worry. I've got em.

I find that when your partner and you are really pissed off at each other, refusing to talk until she does exactly what you want works every time. She leaves, you don't get what you want, but at least the result is 100% predictable.

Why would you put a satellite into the sea? Aren't they built for space?

This issue is just getting started, and so is this thread.

sex machine self-awareness, perhaps