StevenSeagal

The little punches add up. Sorry to say De-Christ-OH NO won't be with us anymore: Buh Bye...

I don't suppose I can sex you up with a little song? Oh, screw it. I gotta go kick someone's ass.

I don't think you'll be needing that, dear.

Would you care to see my credentials?

Hey Chuck! You're wanted over here...

Okay I'm back. Those guys went down HARD. You've should have heard them scream in pain as I meted out justice. Okay, so how can I help?

I have to go take out the Jamaican drug dealers down the street. But when I get back, I'll help you all out however I can.

Did someone call?

I'll give you the first punch, jagoff. I know you better than you know yourself. In fact, Buddha once said...oh forget it. Do you think you're above the law? Well...you're not.

Apologize or I won't let you up. I'll teach you to respect the master.

The real crime is that you don't have a copy of my recent classic:

That's you on the far left, isn't it? Who are your friends?

You WILL address me as Rinpoche, or I will show you some compassion with my devastating throat chop. Rakoff was my most difficult student; alas he was a child molester and beyond help. We mock what we don't understand. I showed him the door. By the way, Chuckie, Christie says she never did find your dick. I loaned her an electron microscope. Let me know how it goes.

Charles, I suggest you get rid of the mullet and try some pomade. It really does help with the ladies. Well, in your case, young boys like it too, but you'd be the expert on that.

You do? Sucks to be you.

You've been punching the clown all morning and I don't see things improving much.

What the hell did you just say?

Interesting avatar picture there. Were you auditioning for the part of the "Cowboy" in the Village People? Go mow your back, ape man.

Had to get out the pump again, eh Chuckie?

Excuse me, Inspector Callahan. You can't even beat the SF chief of police, you're always kowtowing to him. And don't think that "7 point suppository" remark was some big put down or something. And Scorpio kicked the shit out of you, and he was a squid. Chuck Norris is no match for Colin, duh. What the hell are you talking about that clownpuncher for? I'm the resident martial artist around here. You answer to me from now on for justice, son.

L A M E Whatever, Rambo. Your futile punches and kicks will die in a heap after my clothesline maneuver leaves you wincing in pain on the floor. I'm the one with the girl. You don't who you're dealing with, do you? I'm Hard to Kill! This is the only kind of "action" you don't "miss": You fuck with my family...and it'll be An Eye for an Eye.

30,000 posts? My god. That's an injustice. I need to kick somebody's ass. Any takers?

Oh, you're down. So sorry...NOT. Who's Next??

Well, well well...look who just walked in- a washed up, aging action movie star who...oh forget it. Look here pal, this is how it's gonna be: I run the show here now. Your roundhouse kick cannot get past my high block. I will kick your ass from here to sunday. You want justice? I'll give you justice, Walker. You and your slow motion action sequences are no match for me. There's a new sheriff in town- the name's Nico. You are not Zen enough to beat me. You've spent too much time jacking off to tapes of those Christy Brinkley Bowflex commercials you did with her or whatever shit you were hawking to try to save your tanked career. You tried to get in her pants, but guess who had her first? That's right---MOI. She loved the feel of my silky pony tail on her supple little...oh never mind... Now get lost, Hillbilly. Anybody else need some justice?

Have fun punching the clown, asswipe. Come back when you want justice.