The cc.com Tutorial On Fathering belongs in the Pirates Forum.
Kev, you and spouse are free (within boundaries) to raise your children as you see fit. As long as your dedication to love remains paramount over your commitment to your pacifistic philosophy, you'll get by. But, the burden is on you. As you've probably found, the relationship with your child carries a poignancy not found in any other bond. The pressing sting is often in the question that must be answered: "Given the circumstance, what is the right thing to do for them?"
Like all relationships of weight, if you're goal holds for both of you to continue to learn to love better while seeing your way through the world, at some point, the flexibility will be required to suspend or cast away cherished, longstanding, and tightly held notions.
For me, part of the poignancy of parenting was in accepting the irony that those small malleable hearts of love are often best guided along their paths by firm steering boundaries.