luwayo

for $#### i got something with more value. and now i think this sore cocyx, low back & hips thing is not from the dirt bike. someone else i know has the same bizzare syptoms & doesn't even ride i had to inflict my day of glory on some forum, some where. i do suspect that not a lot of climbers ride off road. hell, at work, out of 160 there's only one office dude i can talk to about it!

'K, I'd thought about putting this in Newbies as I am one, and a poseur all over again! Most of my chums were off for Easter hols from Good Friday to the Easter Monday. I made several round of phones calls to the misfits on Thursday night, wanting to see what they were scheming locally. It’s one of the few weekends that I shrink from crossing the border (at one point a 3hr s/b wait time was reported); the Sea to Sky corridor and Hwy 1 east. Zilch was going on! I was utterly disgusted with all of them. But there was one option that loomed. Modified suggested I get back on the Yamaha. After procrastinating for nearly 2 months it looked like today was the re-match with this 4 stroke demon. It had already thrown me in November and was wanting more, I could just tell. I invented several lame delay tactics, like “I dunnOo, it’s looking clOudy out there”. Unfortunately, the weather seemed to be improving. We set out for the beach. Lesson 1: Kick Start, Start Out, Stall Repeated for a good cardio work-out. Lesson 2: Circles in the Sand With wobbly speed and barely maintaining gyroscopic forces, I steered slowly in the sand, taking up half the beach. Thereafter came 499 concentric left-hand circles. I felt good enough to commence a few hundred right-hand turns. Drop the shoulder, squeeze that orange and bend – oh wait, umm that’s my telemark lesson. Modified observed from some focal point in the centre and was getting queasy, while my alpha bitch (the baddest of the two bad dogs!) practiced some leash winding around Modified’s ankles. On occasion, a rider would drive by & I’d yell a muffled yell at Modified to make sure they knew I was learning. “Oh, I think they can tell”, was his reply. Lesson 3: Flooded Trail …wasn’t too bad. But I laughed as Alpha swam along a parallel trail. Ramping down to the beach did have me wondering, in what style would I’d be pitching over the handle bars. Lesson 4: Banked Slopes with Exposure to the Fraser River …”Don’t look down! Don’t look!, Don’t look!”. This was extremely reminiscent of my formative days on skis. If you’re looking at it, you’re going for it! Lesson 5: Swamps, Moguls & Berms Finally, it got interesting. Approaching the moulded swells on the shore of the Fraser, I negotiated patches of sucking mud and waterlogged jello sand. Rear wheel slid out. Revved it up. Foot went down as I banked left and began to auger with the front tire. But incredibly, I was escaping this quagmire! So I took several more runs through it, just to be totally convinced that it wasn’t luck propelling me forward. Next came the moguls & berms. Well, my derriere took a beating. Wabam, wabam! Lesson 6: Release the Hounds This was an exercise in: outrunning canines in the 100lb range, who posses I’m guessing 1700psi of chomp power; steering with one hand, while clobbering the dogs with the other; and testing the limits of duct taped hockey armour as Alpha & Omega are hanging off my plastic knee caps. Strangely, there is no direct correlation of actual coolness in the video footage of me riding, and my self-impressed shit hot attitude. Oh, and in case you hadn’t figured it out, this is related to climbing - in the sense that my TTR 125L is my newest climbing accessory, to help me scope out those FSR’s. Well, maybe I’ll be ready for that level of riding before I quit climbing. So, have I sussed out any motorcross people who can give me advice on how to survive this endeavour? Yours truly, One tenderized derriere!

last w/e my derriere got seriously spanked (there may be a TR) friday hit the beach in Chilliwack; saturday a.m. Gross Grind; passing knots in the p.m. sunday more beach time; monday 20k slog in the Golden Ears foothills.

what subzero temps can they withstand?

i couldn't wear that shirt without stuffing. did you catch the documentary on fake boobs? i had no idea those things need to be replaced every 10 years. the silicon shell breaks down & becomes more porous, which can allow viruses and shit to pass through, building its own toxic ecosystem. that could explain why dolly parton keeps upgrading in size.

i get a headache when i'm around certain people. but i wouldn't say it's from sympathy.

gulp!

aahh lexus! that would garner the vietnamese vote! jaguar if korean. and 3 widely seen, vehicles of choice by the chinese elite: mercedez, BMW, and courtesy car from collision shop

girlfriend, you're on the right track. puhleeze ween yourself off those high heeled spikes. they can impact your climbing in a deleterious way. at the office, flats will keep your calf muscles flexy & loose. just one caveat: don't wear black hose with light shoes.

layer yourself in chocolate & coffee tones. you'll be irresistible. eg: brown shirt/beige trousers keep those accessories in the autumn family. black might be a bit rough! if you have no choice but to default to black trousers, pull it together with accessories daahling. black socks/belt(nice buckle)/shoes. what's your complexion?

yeah, not on my gear list but $500 Rx. it's your sweat & grimies they're attracted to. the little darlings miss you when you're not home.

sounds dreadfully masochistic! won't you lament your chewed up package one day?

here's the little bastard who's proly retaliating for this humiliation

alpine parrot yeah, i r'mbr you told me about its can opener of a beak!

don't birds have teeth?

i just gorged on triple choco birthday cake. i think it was made with chocolard. will that shot induce upchucking? do it E!

Eric, where's the woofy in your story? ok - allowed. anything with teeth

tx for cheering me up with that one. i'm a little more vigilant about keeping the mythos out of harms way.

Addendum: the usual climbing apparel trimed with bunny fur...all have been rendered more dead.

yum! say, is steve is going to jump off that stuff nxt week?

my dog enjoyed a $40 pair of gloves yesterday. he extricated them from the black hole of a hockey bag, which remained unpacked from the weekend. [sigh] yes, i accept contributory negligence. this is just a fraction of a list of ghastly crime scenes i've returned to: energy bars/power gels...untold numbers, silnylon sacks....lost count, lovingly customized belay gloves (2 sets), and aforementioned, fricken expensive winter gloves. what's your domistic destructo been up to? don't make me feel worse

CTB - you know, in the face of 4 days of biblical rain over easter hols., your pancake offer & working thru a little mindbending cluster in *sunshine* sounds real nice! tx for the offer

for the basic students, or do you cover some extra funky stuff? i think that's a fine idea - there being rain on the wet coast this w/e.

oh my mistake. thought you had a kona last year.

what happened to your DAWG?