Dr_Flash_Amazing

DFA would second the opinions leaning towards "no faceplate = not worth it". As a former active shoplifter, the Doctor can attest to theft being all about convenience. If store X puts their Goretex jackets under the security cameras and has one of those electronic alarm setter offer things on them, but store Y has their Gtx sitting in a dark, unwatched corner by the dressing room or something, which store d'you think's gonna be missing inventory? Likewise, a few months ago, Dr. Flash Amazing's across the street neighbor had his sound system snaked, courtesy of a busted out window (insult to injury -- jerkwads). Neighbor in question had no alarm, and presumably had the faceplate on (not 100% sure). DFA's car, directly across the street, has an unusually bright LED for the alarm, the stereo face was off, and the disc changer is out of sight. It just seems like, if every car at the trailhead/in the parking lot/wherever has got a stereo, and yours is the only one that doesn't have a faceplate, they're gonna go after someone else and up their chances. You might even get all Radio Shack and rig up a blinking LED on your dash board for good measure.

Poor waterlogged alpinistas. The Mammut Tusk is the bestfuckingrope ever. Sooooo supple. Rrrrowwwwrrrr.

Erik, yeah, just gotta sharpen up this corkscrew and this shishkabob skewer and finish driving nails through these Adidas shelltoes and it's on. New-wave Russian-style mixed tools are the shit! Oh, and you got a poncho DFA could borrow? Fuckin' fireproof Schoeller spacesuit is at the cleaners getting some stains removed, and the bastards won't have it done 'til mid-July. Later on!

DFA's got a pimp mountainbicycle for sale. 18" Aluminium frame, Marzocchi front shox, all LX w/XT rear (generic cranx, sorry), SPD pedals, road and basically unused dirt tires, lock, seat bag, cheap light. Make an offer. The Doctor's unemployed, so he can deliver it for a nominal fee.

What, just tuck the tails into your shorts and use them as flags, or what? Perhaps it is a little harder to grab someone's flag when it's snappin' at you.

What about the unbelievably ill-behaved and halfwitted black labrador retriever?

OK, where'd you put that puking emoticon?

http://www.cascadeclimbers.com/threadz/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB1&Number=119763&Forum=UBB1&Words=empty%20park%20TR&Match=Entire%20Phrase&Searchpage=0&Limit=25&Old=1year&Main=119763&Search=true#Post119763

Traskbirdseat?

"pullin' out all the stops I'm gonna puke on the cops!" Confidential to Greg: saw a somewhat chubby family man in Bend hop out of his mini-van (wife 'n' kids inside) with some sort of firearm on his belt, and thought of you. Marveled at what it must be like to be living in that kind of fear all the time. Kill anything/one lately?

300 Arc'teryx stickers for your Nalgene bottles.

It'll be easier to see your "HATE" tattoo then. Whilst in lovely ( ) Ephraim, Utah on a rest day from some Maple Canyon cobble wrangling, DFA 'n' the Mrs. spied a mulleted metalhead misanthrope piloting his rumbling muscle car through the parking lot of Kent's Market, feathered-haired rockerette in the passenger seat, and, lo and behold, "LOVE" and "HATE" permanently emblazoned on the knuckles. Musta been Trask's dad or something?

Still working on getting into the mags, though, unlike some celebrity sprayers 'round here.

Nose candy?

but white, and with no guns, it's Dr. Flash Amazing! A few things you should know: - When in Zion/Kolob Canyon, DO make the slog up the S. fork of Taylor Creek to the fantastically huecoriffic, supersteep, long long long, wayrad rad rad sport routes. Bitchin' hike, bitchin' routes, oh yeah! - When at Wild Iris, DO bring your sunscreen, and DO NOT be thinking you can climb there before three in the afternoon. 'Cause you'll broil like cookable stuff on a hot thing. And it's way too hot at Sinks 'til after 5, people. - When at Le Roc du Smithe, DO NOT get on "That .10d Route" over by Asterisk Pass, no matter how good you think the line looks. If you are a foolish enough chosstronaut to venture up this crumblefest, please insist that your belayer is wearing his/her helmet, and make sure no gapers are on the trail below so that no one gets hurt as you rain chunks of footholds and removable flakes from the route. Decent climbing, atrocious rock, and the grade posted on smithrock.com is a little suspect. Also, it's damn hot over there. - Interest rates are down; buy now! WELCOME HOME, DR. & MRS. FLASH AMAZING!

Attention sprayhounds, morons, and socially inept degenerate knuckle-dragging internet addicts: A smashing wedding and fantastic reception, first off. Followed by the usual celebratory activities, and a not-too-early rising. Hasty packing and car-loading leads to I-84 eastbound, and, hours later, Salt Lake City (bleah). Next stop, Zion NP and the lovely Desert Pearl Inn for a few days of lounging at the pool and gorgeous hiking. Thence northward to Cedar Breaks, Bryce, Grand Staircase-Escalante, and Capitol Reef (in a day). A week at Maple Canyon, then off to AF, which DFA and the Mrs. decide to bail on, so now we're in lovely Lander, Wyoming, sampling some pockety limestone boltedness at the world-famous Wild Iris (nice camping, nice flowers, nice crags, etc.). OK, some lady just kicked the Doctor off the Lander Pub. Library computer, so y'all have a nice day. Toodles, Dr. Flash Amazing

What? No, the Wonka candies are 'Nerds', aren't they? Not 'Nurds'? Get the Grigri, catbirdseat (deconstructing your name renders the moniker "cat birds eat", or a bird eaten by cats. Amusement ensues.). You'll be loving it next time your partner commences a half-hour flail-a-thon on their proj' of choice. Then you can put on your down jacket, put on sunscreen, eat a burrito, or whatever while they thrash about like a gaffed marlin. Excellent!

foun·tain·head (fountn-hd) n. 1. A spring that is the source or head of a stream. 2. A chief and copious source; an originator: “the intellectual fountainhead of the black conservatives” (Jerrold K. Footlick).

Trask, we will have a democratic leader come 2004. The problem here is that our current "leader" is himself a walking joke, and as such attracts assorted barbs, jabs, and caps much like flypaper attracts its namesake insect.

If you have a Pentax digital camera, you can break out the stereoscopic glasses and see if it works!

The real fucker here is that it's not about climbing for any of these kooks. It's about Everest The Event; it's not a culmination of outdoor experiences, learning, and preparation, it's just a thing. Just some meaningless experience with no context other than the stack of other experiences one might get by paying for them; a trip to the amusement park, the wildlife safari, whatever. It's clearly ruining the experience of actual climbers, and it's sure as fuck ruining the mountain. Stomp gumby fakers and burn their SUVs so they can't get to the fucking airport!

'Cause denigrating, belittling, and antagonizing one another is the name of the fuggin' game. Represent, yo!

The Starbucks? Yeah, they're all over, all over. They gonna put an A-frame roof on the thing; snow conditions won't matter a damn. Not a damn damn, damnit.

where does it say that it's 5.10? We talking 'bout that Lynn Hill Step thingamahootie up there on The Ever'st? Thing's only five-nine, people. Five-point-NINE on the Yozamight dessmal scale. But no one climbs it freestyle any more; no, they got them aid ladders right up the thing. Starbucks opening a cart up top next week, too. Ehhh.

It would be a real yukfest if someone were to bring back a safety-related question from about, say, a year ago, just, you know, to see if anyone picks up the conversation like it's a new thread. A real yuk-o-rama; yukkity-yuk-yuk.