Dr_Flash_Amazing

First legit pint at a pub: Bridgeport Brewery, lunchtime, December __, '97 First trip to a pub: Rogue Brewery, when it was still in A-Town, probably around age 10 or so with Dad. No beers then, though. One more round and it's bottles to the ground!

Errr, lessee, here ... Chain Reaction (duh) Kings of Rap Outer Space* Zeb'/Zion* Green Tape at the PRG (the dark green tape, the one that starts up the left side of the 45-degree wall) * Note trad routes -- suck on that, DFA haters

And don't forget Texplorer's #1 training technique, i.e. lugging around a jumbo rack of hexes wherever you go!

What? They're selling food now?

Oooooo ... never a good idea to rile the Mt. Hood Mafia, NOLSe. 'specially not Iain "The Icy Couloir" Morris.

Don't try to front like you're not a fully huge geek, dude. Your cat is outta the bag, and you're gonna have to deal widdit. Sucka.

So what's the guarantee that if you read it, you'll be able to interpret it correctly? There's a lot of stuff in there that can't just be taken at face value.

You haven't climbed every route at every crag. You're not a climber!

Bested only by the impeccably dressed and socially nimble Mr. White, naturally! DFA was here and there, alternately dodging the sun and roasting in it. Thanks to the cc.com crowd for not being too noisy at the Grasslands, by the way!

Fuck no!

The fact still remains that you are a punting wank of a pebble-wrestling future yurt owner. Go suck on a yak, assbutter.

"Send up the large angles and bongs!"

The Salty Load: no more than 4 hours from a head-spinning variety of world-class rock climbing, some decent neighborhoods, Patagucci outlet, one independent theatre/movie store, one slayingly awesome library across the street from a mighty tasty coffee roaster (that serves tasty pastries & food to boot), and supposedly some decent snow nearby somewhere. Boise: much further from the rock climbing (and anything else), but is home to the BEST grocery store ever (Boise Co-op -- must be experienced), which is across the parking lot from an excellent bakery/coffee joint, and ... someone come to Boise's rescue, here!

moron ... Exactly!

You might try here.

Whose toast? White, wheat, or rye?

Ah, well, you would know, wouldn't you? Anyone ever notice you never see DFA and Iain in the same place at the same time? Coincidence or quirk of quantum mechanics? YOU make the call!

Weekend challenge: Correctly identify the DFA without helpful hints from Texas, E, or Alpin'ox. Win fabulous AmazingCo, Inc. prize package dream vacation getaway giveaway!

Please, please ... "cosmetically-enhanced pectorals."

Good call, HayDruke!

Come on, now ... the shirt comes off only when there's babes or impressionable noobs watching. Comfort has nothing to do with it!

Ahhh, but I bet you wear your PRG belay card when you climb outside? A definitive "NO," because that would be completely fucking stupid and unneccessary, not to mention a screaming fashion faux pas.

... this from the only guy in the world with platform climbing shoes.

R. Moore - It's funny to see a lot of you more trad-oriented climbers who will bitch about the crowds and social atmosphere of Smith at the drop of a hat turn around and act like you can make noise and irritate people at the campground and it's no big deal. The attitude that you should be able to do what you want and if other people are bothered by it, "they should just move" (and no, the Grasslands was NOT so uncrowded last weekend, nor is it usually so uncrowded, that someone could simply select another site, even if it was an appropriate option) DOES sound like something that would come from someone a lot younger than you are. The rationale that since the Grasslands is a free campground, people should just deal with whatever crap happens there is completely ludicrous. This doubtless doesn't apply when a crew of people winds up next to YOU and makes noise all night with their drum circle or wakes you at 6 a.m. with Grateful Dead bootlegs played at full volume over crackling VW bus speakers. The Grasslands has grown increasingly crowded over the years; the sites have become amorphous and are blending together; it is becoming difficult to have any reasonable degree of separation between parties, spatially and sonically. Is it too much to ask to acquiesce and be considerate of other people? It's bad enough when a truckload of rednecks winds up next to you blaring Garth Brooks late into the night and early in the morning, and you know they're just dying to brawl with whatever climber fag tries to ask them to quiet down; why should climbers do the same to each other?

There IS one problem there. T-shirts ALWAYS go over your long underwear top. ALWAYS. And, for the gym, your belay device is for BELAYING, not climbing with (unless your belayer will be seconding you up the red tape route?). If you need ballast, try the weight belt. Likewise, YOU DO NOT NEED A NUT TOOL IN THE GYM -- this is the stupidest fucking thing ever -- everyone already knows you're a climber, because you're at the rock gym, in your harness, and you're CLIMBING; if you really need to announce that you're a trad climber, talk loudly about it, but leave the nut tool, hand jammies (!), prussiks (), and two (!!!) belay devices on the ground, or in your pack at home. (There is a fellow who frequents the PRG these days who is guilty of all of the above. If you see him, give him one of those "dope slaps" they're always referring to on "Car Talk"). This is totally the same type of person who shows up at Smith with a half-empty pack but still clips their shoes/harness/belay device/chalk bag etc. to the outside of their pack for some half-assed reason, as a billboard to the world that, yes, they are a mountain climber. As if you'd be at the crag in climbing shorts, lugging a backpack around, for any other reason. As if anyone would care anyway. Oh, and Verve makes hot pants for chix, so an exception needs to be made there.