RURP

This is RURP: Schlangelieber and Dwayner: Both of you guys are full of crap. You are both Untermensch as are the other ones in this so-called "discussion" who think they are experts on all things Germanic. I hope your little Leavenworth couch-dancing whores kick you in the groin with their big black boots. With all of that money you spend on those strippers, you could be going on your Big Wall dream climb. Instead, you are little teenage boys who believe those little tramps when they pretend that they are interested in your fancy alpine exploits so that you will have them wiggle their perfumed butts all over your lap and take your $20 in three minutes time. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: You guys sound like a bunch of Oprah's! RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. I read what Erik writes and I do not think Erik needs to apologize in this Land of Great Spray and Misinformation. I do not know Erik but I can tell that he is a thoughtful guy. Go out and climb Big Walls, Mr. Erik! RURP has spoken.

This is RURP:Mr. William: Here is my response to your call. 1. Zion experience (should have done several wall routes there). Zionist experience? Is Lebanon, '82, good enough? 2. Can lead SANDSTONE 5.11, A3+A3+ is for babies. 3. Is a college grad and/or good writer (preferably published)RURP is more than adequate. 4. Is unemployed, or willing to become unemployed.This means you aren't paying all of RURP's expenses? Show me the money and I'll show you the Big Wall excellence. 5. Is not a Jesus freakWas not Jesus himself a"freak" in his day? Nothing wrong with J.C! 6. Partakes of the devil weedSorry, but I grew out of that when I was about 15. 7. Has own transportation (not so important), and own wall gear (very important.I have wall gear as far as they eye can see. 8. Can party like a rock star and still be responsible and get shit doneWhat a bold statement of contradictions! Maybe you should think again about this criterium. 9. Enjoys cheap beer, fast women, and expensive scotchI prefer expensive beer and penurious Scottish women. RURP has spoken. [ 01-20-2002: Message edited by: RURP ]

This is RURP! Is this discussion only about people crapping while climbing? Or is it all about climbers crapping, because if the latter is true, then I know lots of people who have probably moved their bowels in the last 24 hours and they can offer some detailed descriptions. And now I see that "peeing" has joined this wonderful topic. O.K.! Now I can talk! My name is RURP, I am a climber, and I pee'd several times today. Clear and copius because I drink so much water today! And yes, I have even pee'd outdoors while climbing! Anybody else got some more of this good stuff? RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: What! Are you on commission? Do you write for these guys? RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. Oh yes. And don't forget to bring an ice axe. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. Hero-worshipping of climbers is pathetic. Why don't you find some real heroes like Theodore Roosevelt ro Shackelton; people with real character; instead of some foolish jackass who wastes weeks of his life trying to "master" a 40 foot sport climb, or risks his life to climb a peak? Give your grandmother stickier shoes, some training, and unlimited time to hang and rehearse and she, too, a 5.14 climbing heroine because she is an old woman. And then the phone will ring. And then you will want to buy all of the crap that she endorses in a ridiculous magazine because she is so important and inspirational...until another older lady comes by who climbs something harder. Yawn. Look at me! I can wack a sharp tool into a steep frozen waterfall! Yahoo! Want my autograph? RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: So how old is Mr. Blakely that he knows so much? Alpine (and Big Wall) experience and wisdom is often cumulative. By your attitude, Fred Beckey should be in a nursing home swapping stories about the good old days with Jim Donini, both of whom could probably say "back in the day" decades before young pope. When you are older, you will realize that you knew little or nothing when you were younger. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: People I like on this board? It would be much easier to list the ones that I do not like. I like Dan Larson because he is tough and has learned not to take himself so seriously. Mr. Dan has the Big Wall spirit. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. You crap in your pants and then you laugh.. ...pathetic! "Hey look at me! I crapped in my pants and I want to share my experience with all of you! Yes, I crapped in the middle of your favorite climb! Yoo hoo! Watch your step or you might get a surprise!" How about less crapping and more climbing. Maybe there is a special discussion list on the Internet where people can discuss the movement of their bowels in even greater detail. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: I would like to take Oprah on a Big Wall. This would require an extra large haul bag for her food but it would be good exercise. Maybe if she was kept busy jugging and belaying she would not talk so much. She is a smart woman so I think she could learn some of the things, BUT I WILL NOT TEACH HER HOW TO USE THE PVC POO-PIPE AND I WILL NOT SHARE MY PORTALEDGE! I think maybe this could be something for all of the new climbers who have run out of things to distinguish themselves. So now they can try to do the "First Oprah Ascent" of the Tooth, or the "First Oprah Ascent" of The Nose or whatever fancy climb they think that will make them famous. (I would share my portaledge with Sally Raphael. She is not unattractive for an older woman.) RURP has spoken.

This is RURP:I just read this message from a guy named Peso or like that: "Most of you twits that sit on this board daily are precisely the ones that give climbers a bad name. There is nothing worse than running into climbers with bad attitudes. Maybe it's because no one really cares about your exploits but yourselves. I am curious about some of you, what came first, the self-righteous attitude, or did it develop after years of climbing and following it up with self-aggrandising posts on message boards?"a) Yes, I do care about my Big Wall exploits. b) If you are lucky, your parents will teach you right and wrong so you will have the correct self-righteous attitude when you are quite young. It will accompany the climbing if you receive your alpine education early. And the Big Walls will teach you the rest."There is nothing worse than running into climbers with bad attitudes." Nothing worse? You must live a very special and happy life. Read the newspaper, visit Jalalabad or visit a hospital.RURP has spoken. [ 01-07-2002: Message edited by: RURP ]

This is RURP. I wonder if the Austrian army knows about these Mountaineers? They seem to like to march and take orders. Perhaps they could be used in the office or at the place where they hand out the green underwear to the new soldiers. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. The "climbing community" is a load of horse manure. There is no community. The "brotherhood of the rope" broke many years ago. Some say it went downhill when the French introduced sport climbing to America, or Americans went to France and fell in love with sport climbing. What is the problem with that? Climbing became popular for everyone and thousands of participants were produced with no education in climbing history and ethics. There are so many of them today that they have become common, like little boys on skateboards. All of you people who think you love all climbers: ask yourself this: who do you think is breaking into your car and stealing your gear? Some of them are "climbers". RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. Pope you are a fool. Again you think that you are amusing readers with your false attempt to appear as a native German speaker. Try something different. Perhaps you can be honest to yourself and present yourself as a Big-Wall Cry-Baby. Waaa! Waaa! I have not met you in any bathroom and you are not on my "Big Wall Team". If you are looking for glory, you won't find much of it in a toilet, unless you have held back for a week or two. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. Hey Mr. Dwayner. Who is this Big Lou? Perhaps you would have a better time if you declared this to be the Year of RURP. Yes, and make this the Big Wall Decade. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP:Summitseeker said:"it's always been called powder, or if you prefer, "pow pow"... "Pow-pow" is perhaps even worse than "freshies". It sounds like a little baby requesting his blanket, kayak, or whatever.RURP has spoken. [ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: RURP ]

This is RURP. Anyone who uses the word "freshies" around me gets sent home from the Big Wall. It is a pathetic and undignified word and I must unfortunately agree with Mr. Trask: it sounds like little girls talking about their dolls. Or maybe something that Mr. pope applies to his butt after he uses the toilet at Narada Falls. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: Thank you, Mr. Trask, for your mature, articulate and civil response. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: Oooohhh! Kayaking...so very exciting. First we get into the boat and then we go into the water. Weeeeeeeeee! Oh no! Here comes a wave! I'd better do the Eskimo Roll! Here we go! Wee! These kayak people on the radio: they are Big Wall nobodies. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: Do you want to know the best of 2001? Two words only: Big Walls. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. Pope and Dwayner. You two are usually giant fools. I am embarassed to admit that you have exposed a secret of obtaining Big Wall hardiness. The sauna will make you tough and strong. And a roll in the snow is good if you are not near water. Sausage has lots of protein and will make you big and sturdy. More than once a year is not enough. Also, beating each other with twigs during the sauna experience is also good. You two are still giant fools. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: Mr. Max: "get off my high horse". How did you know that my last El Cap route was called "Horse Chute"? Were you those other guys across from us to whom we gave the sardine and chesse sandwiches on the top? I bet you are glad that is over! You do not have to like my attitude or groupies. I don't care; live as you please. But OK groupies, your famous climbers are waiting for you to hang out with them and buy them some beer and maybe a tasty dinner. And oh yah, "Also make sure to check out how much you bug me in "Where were you a year ago? And now?" I read that and it was boring and not very nice. I am happy to know that I can cross you off the list of potential groupies although you can still buy me beers and dinners.RURP has spoken. [ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: RURP ]

This is RURP: O.K. Mr. Will. You stand over there next to that guy who thinks I am pope. You are wrong. In fact, you can stand over there next to pope who who I recently met and find to be a little wiry smart-ass. You go and have a nice holiday too. And by the way, I do not climb the routes where the falcons are nesting unless they are away. Have a nice holiday. And by the way, there are no hippies in my life and there probably won't be any. RURP has spoken.