allthumbs

The fucking seals out here are next. I picked up some "seal bombs" from my commercial fishing buddies. When I'm realing in a nice fish and the goddamn seal grabs on, you light them like cherry bombs and throw them in the water. They don't kill the seal, but they definitely fuck up their day.

Maybe I have the shit, or maybe I don't. Only Neo knows for sure.

Goddamn, you people are really anal about this shit aren't you? Buy the bitch, or don't.

Twas a fat Coon that had been raiding my neighbors dog food and getting bolder and aggressive. The last straw tonight was when it threatened my neighbor's wife and their 2 year old granddaughter. Chased them into the house. So Bill and I treed the prick and shined the light on him. My first shot dropped him like no tomorrow. He fell 20 feet in a "thump". Had to do a quick followup as he was still kickin'. Get this, he fell dead away into a perk hole that some realtors had dug. It was like he fell right into his own grave. The hole was large and about 2 feet deep, so we just filled it in with dirt, popped a couple Mickeys and had a little funeral ceremony and atta-boy ass slapin'.

Had to do a little varmint control tonight. 2 rounds 00 Buck - deader'n a door nail.

press

Yeah, Cavey's a trip. hahaha

On a farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. The horse begged for the chicken to go get help. The chicken ran back to the farm. He searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail for he had gone to town with the tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog the horse was surprised, but happy to see the chicken arrive in the shiny car. He managed to get a hold of the rope the chicken tossed to him after tying the other end to the rear bumper of the car. The chicken then drove slowly forward and with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse. Happy and proud the chicken drove the car back to the farmhouse and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented. Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later the chicken fell into a mud pit and soon began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life. The horse thought a moment, walked over and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his schlong and he would lift him out. The chicken got a good grip and the horse pulled him out saving his life. The Moral Of The Story..... When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

Yo be trippin

I used to get all hot and bothered by j_b. I don't anymore. I take solace in the fact that I have many friends and business acquaintances that know and love me. J_b on the other hand must spend his days knowing everybody despises him and much of what he stands for. I would kill myself if I had to spend one day in the life of j_b the super Tool.

I'll drink to that.

what is a j_b?

Bush is a Great American Hero

got ebonics down pat, too

Doesn't Jim read this board? Don't bitch too much or he might give you a permanent vacation.

I look like shit

boat and beer

Sure can - once the fighting starts, STFU

I just typed in pud pounder = Puppy Jones pussy eater = Puppy Teapot, Yo butt pirate = Toilet Duq Ice

tongue my pooper

I wish to make fun of a Democratic leader. But I can't find one. Please help as I have many jokes and such to share.

my firewall spit it out

trask = Dr Wack

true dat