Uncle_Tricky

Thanks for sharing--brings back memories of bad trips past. In fact I was just recently recounting memories of bad trips with a friend of mine from high school. Like the time we got caught in a summer lighting\hail\rain storm on S. Arapahoe Peak (CO). Classically unprepared, totally freezing, lighting striking all around, we ran a couple thousand feet down a snowfield to lower ground. It was only then that my friend discovered that somewhere along the way, he'd ran out of his shoe--and hadn't even noticed cause his feet were so cold! (It was a long, slow walk out). Or the time we went backpacking and brought all canned food but no can opener or pocket knife. Or the time we tried to paddle a canoe through a culvert on a flooding creek and nearly got stuck, or the time we were in a suvivalist phase and tried to hunt and gather all our food for a week and ended up skinning mice and roasting slugs on a skewer....ahhh the memories! As far as sleeping bags go, in my experience, the warmest way to sleep is nekkid with hat and socks, or with just a thin layer of long underwear at most. Anything more than that (fleece or whatever) seems to dilute your body heat and render the bag less effective and/or retard blood circulation. Of course, DRY is the key. In a snow cave, the temperature often stays a little above freezing, which can result in high relative humidity. Even if you have dry clothes, water vapor from the snow and your breath will pass right through your bag and clothes, contributing to a clammy, damp feeling. I've noticed that its easier to be warm at 20 degrees where the air is dry, than at 33 degrees where the air has a lot of moisture in it. Kind of the inverse of the rule about heat and humidity. [ 04-13-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]

Yup, as others have said, Peshastin is open for biz. Got fumigated there early this week. As we were up on the rock, they started spraying the orchard next door. A strong westerly wind coated us with a white, bitter-tasting fungi-herbi-insecticide powder. Probably not too healthy, but it cleared my flea and tick problem right up!

Yeah, Benton City? What are you thinking? Go with the downwind side of Hanford--it quite affordable, and you can grow a hell of a garden there! You may want to consider the cosmopolitan Tri-Cities area of Richland, Kennewick and Pasco. Richland is particularly nice. The high school team is named the "Bombers" and their mascot is the A-Bomb: [ 04-06-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]

Do you know what the man is saying? Do you? This is dialectics. It's very simple dialectics. One through nine, no maybes, no supposes, no fractions. You can't travel in space, you can't go out into space, you know, without, like, you know, with fractions. What are you going to land on, one quarter, three-eighths, what are you going to do when you go from here to Venus or something -- that's dialectic physics, OK? Dialectic logic is there's only love and hate, you either love somebody or you hate them.

The are transient wolves in the Cascades, but they are extremely rare, occasionally filtering down from Canada. There have been only a couple verified sightings in the last 20 years, the most recent being up near Hozomeen along Ross Lake. Do not fear the wolf--fear the KILLER RABBIT with a vicious streak a mile wide! [ 03-30-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]

Never get out of the boat. Absolutely god damn right. Unless you're going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin' program. The horror. The horror...

The Top Four Coolest Towns in the PNW: 4) Yelm - A beautiful burg nestled down by the banks of the lovely Nisqually River. Only minutes from Fossil Rock, the secret sport climbing destination which is also referred to as "The Smith Rock of the Greater Yelm Area." 3) Tokeland - A little known paradise on the mudflats of scenic Willapa Bay. High Times magazine recently rated this as "One of the best places to spark a doob while harvesting shellfish." Only a short three to four hour drive from the nearest rock, which happens to be the sport climbing mecca of Fossil Rock! 2) Forks - If you like precipitation, this is the place to be, with over 150 inches of rain a year. Grow a mullet, wander through the woods, and hang with the friendly unemployed sasquatches at the hip Hangup Tavern. Warning: if you do not drive a Ford or Chevy truck, this might not be the place for you. Since the fall of logging, jobs are somewhat limited, but there are "new economy" opportunities if you can either pick salal or manufacture meth. EZ access to Olympic National Park! And the #1 coolest, hippest, hottest and happeningest town in all of the PNW is......... 1) Ritzville - the name says it all. A ritzy little resort town in the heart of Washington. Promoters think this place might be the next big thing. Land of big sky, big trucks, big hair and big butts. There may not be lots of girls, but each girl gottsa lotsa woman to them! Ritzville was voted the best place to park your combine in the latest issue of "Grain Growers Monthly." A side note--Ritzville is currently suing Yakima, who it claims plagarized Ritzville's motto: "The Palm Springs of Washington." Have fun exploring these places, and let us know which cool town you decide to settle in!

[ 03-22-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]

Glad all ya'll had a time of it. Due to pass closure, I attended the Ardenvoire Club Pub at the grocery/post office/hardware/liquor/restaurant/bar/video rental/fishing tackle store maybe 10 or 15 miles up the Entiat River Valley. We had a great turnout. In fact everyone in the Ardenvoir Greater Metropolitan Area was there, which including one stranded traveler, made 8 of us. They were a seasoned crowd--you could divide my three decades two or three times into these oldster's years of existence. Sailor Tom reminesced about World War I. Gus told the story of every fire in the valley since 1916. Three Fingered Jack (Technically, he should be called "Two Fingered, One Thumbed Jack") smoked an unfiltered Gunsmoke held between thumb and ring finger and told of the days when the saw mill buzzed and Ponderosas lived up to their latin name. Octegenarian Floyd sat slouched between bar stool and wall, silent, still under his cowboy hat, presumably still alive. Maude kept the $1.25 cans of Hamms, Olympia and Ranier coming. Just from wandering around up at the end of the road (snowed in at 25 miles) I was impressed by the quality and quantity of granite up in them thar hills! [ 03-21-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]

Don't believe the hype. In fact there are numerous creasote bushes that are over twice as old as the the overhyped Methuselah tree, including "King Clone" at 11,700 years.

Speaking of Canajuns and eating healthy... According to Farley Mowat, the Inuit Indians in the Canadian artic were capable of gorging themselves with up to 15 pounds of caribou meat at one sitting when the herds returned from their annual migration. And an average pound of caribou meat had over 100 worms, parasites, and blowfly larvae. Now that's good eating! And another Great White North food anecdote. A few years back, my brother and I were paddling down the BC coast North of Vancouver Island, when we happened upon a camp of loggers. They had been dropped off in this remote roadless area by barge, along with some basic equipment to keep them going: a bulldozer, a couple pickups, a couple trailers, guns, and large quantities of booze. Anyway they were cool guys, and we were tired of eating fish for weeks on end, so we accepted their invite to dinner. Over beers, they told us all kinds of crazy stories. For entertainment they would chase and tree black bears, then break out the chainsaws and play "topple smokey." The game involved cutting down the tree with the bear in it, and betting on the result. Ah, those crazy canucks know how to have fun! For dinner, they cooked up the ultimate monochrome meal: white pork chops, white chicken breasts, white mashed potatoes, white rice, white steamed califlower, and white bread. Then, over everything, they poured this brown stuff called HB Sauce, which is sort of the moosehugger version of A-1 or barbecue sauce. It was pretty comical, but I have to admit, after eating fish and beans for the previous month, that was one of the top 10 meals I've ever had! [ 03-16-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]

SW Buttress of S. Early Winters Becky on Lib. Bell S. Face Prusik Big Tree Route-Darrington Total Soul-Darrington Cathedral Peak Chrome Plated Semi-Automatic Enema Syringe (Estes Park, CO)

Hey Sparky, how bout showing up one of these tuesdays and downing some beers with those whom you want to engage in a "battle of wits"? It's always entertaining, and there's plenty of good-natured shit talking, so you'd probably enjoy it. As for your quandry, I'm curious if you'd feel comfortable dogging people in person the same way you might online? If the answer is no, maybe you have gone too far. But hey, to each his own.

I passed through Wenatchee this past week and happened to pick up a local paper. It mentioned that all climbing areas up the Icicle from Bridge Creek Campground would be closed to climbers while the salvage logging is going on from July 15 til ??? In addition to the Colchuck TH, it specifically mentioned Secret Dome, 8 mile Buttress, Bridge Creek Wall, Condor buttress, the Sword area, Bathtub Dome, the Egg rocks, 4th of July rock. Not sure if this is set in stone, so to speak, but that's the plan according to last week's Wenatchee World... [ 03-08-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]

An Update on Apocalyptic Winter Storm 2002 from the City of Seattle: Seattle is currently closed. This city has received almost 400 millimeters (2.5 inches) of snow in the past 24 hours. Blowing and drifing snow has reduced visibility to zero in some places. The mayor has issued a Natural Disaster Warning, and National Guard troops are in the street to prevent chaos, looting and unauthorized snowball fights. There is currently a 24 hour curfew in place. Do not leave you home, drive your car or walk anywhere, as conditions are much too treacherous. Stay tuned to local radio and TV for breathless Apocalyptic Winter Storm 2002 Disaster updates. Please note that there will be avalanche control work done on the North Face of Queen Anne hill, the West face of Capitol hill, and other dangerous slide paths in the area. Do not panic. Thanks for your cooperation in this difficult time,Greg NikolsMayor of Seattle

Erik, you're right...anything less than a 4-to-1 beer-to-Ramen ratio is probably inadequate. Plus, I've heard that the higher your blood alcohol level, the less likely you're blood is to freeze when the BLIZZARD OF 2002 blows down from the Arctic and lays waste to the greater puget sound area in a scene of greater destruction than the four horsemen of the apocalypse at a girl scout campout. I'm headed back to the store for more beer before panic buying shuts down all retail outlets in the area....

The flakes are coming down in Seatown. I watched the local news and thus am taking prudent precautions in preparing for "APOCALYPTIC WINTER STORM 2002!!!" I just returned from the store, where there was a mad rush to stock up for the coming blizzard. Fighting through the aisles filled with crazed worried housewives and other viewers of local TV, I managed to secure two sacks of rice, 50 pounds of beans, 2 cases of Ramen, and 3 cases of Schmidt's. Hopefully this will get me through the coming "APOCALYPTIC WINTER STORM of 2002." My advice to all out there is to PANIC!

Better hurry--the glaciers are advancing rapidly down the Nisqually river valley. You could easily find yourself surrounded. Better to head south to avoid being trapped in the coming Ice Age, which I hear is supposed to hit this afternoon or early evening at the latest.

You can always count on Caveman to step in as the moderate voice of reason in any dispute!

Dwayner, you're too modest. All would agree that the highlight of the evening was Dwayner's demonstration of how to use ancient Egyptian knot-making techniques to weave a functional, dynamic lead climbing rope from nothing more than soggy bar napkins and pubic hair. Now that's old school!

A couple years back, a number of my friends gathered in Bend, Oregon. The occasion was the wedding of our good friend Eric, who was to be married the next day. He and his fiancée grew up a couple blocks from each other in Bend. They had been best friends since first grade, but it wasn't until a couple years after college that they finally acknowledged what was obvious to everyone else: they were a perfect match and deeply in love with each other. Anyway, the day before the Saturday wedding, we took Eric up to a cabin on Elk Lake, which is out near Mt. Bachelor, for the bachelor party. On the way there, my friend Dan and I noticed some cliffs along the road. Sure, they looked loose, shattered, and flaky, but hey, it was rock--or at least something that vaguely resembled rock. We drove on and arrived at the cabin at Elk Lake, where typical bachelor party festivities commenced: heavy drinking, smoking of strange aromatic substances, lighting each other on fire with lighter fluid, etc. After a couple hours of such fun, Dan and I got the brilliant idea of returning to the cliffs down the road to do some altered climbing. The two minute approach to the cliffs crossed a field of sharp, shattered talus that appeared fresh off the cliff. It seemed that the cliff was actively eroding at a very rapid rate. As we discussed whether or not we should hike around and set up a toprope, Dan amused himself by throwing rocks at the cliff face. Each rock he threw caused a small avalanche of rockfall, as plates of crumbly volcanic choss broke free from the face. By comparison, the rock at Frenchman's or Peshastin was bulletproof granite. We stopped at the base of the most obvious feature of the cliff: a wide dihedral 100+ feet high. The dihedral appeared slightly more solid than the flaky unprotectable faces nearby. It looked like there might be protection in the corner, but it was hard to tell, because there was a bulge at about 20 feet that prevented us from seeing what lay above. Since enough Obsidian Stout renders once absolutely 100%invincible, I decided to lead it. Dumb. I bouldered up easy ground to just below the bulge, where I found one uninspiring placement in fractured rock. Hoping there would be some real protection available above the bulge, I sketched up and over the slightly overhanging section. Bad idea. There were some positive holds, but I dared not touch them for they appeared to be attached by nothing more than cobwebs and chance. Once above the steep section, I found myself committed and in serious groundfall territory. The corner where I was hoping to find pro was nothing more than a shallow, flaring moss and grass filled groove. I smeared and stemmed in the slippery, insecure dihedral, my feet oozing down and out as I tried to excavate some pro. No luck. At this point, I started to feel a little less than invincible. Maybe I should have had another beer before beginning this venture. While I was only 25 or 30 feet up at this point, I was convinced that I couldn’t down climb the bulge—I didn’t trust the one piece of pro I had in below it any more than I trusted the absurdly loose rock I would have to downclimb. That option seemed like a guaranteed groundfall. Up seemed like the best and really the only option. Another 15 or 20 feet above it looked like there might be some gear. Like mirages in the desert, the apparent protection opportunities dissapeared as soon as I reached them. Down was not an option. Falling was not an option. Upward and onward! Climbing as conservatively and delicately as possible, ("light as a feather!") I was expecting the whole dihedral to spontaneously exfoliate at any moment, killing me and burying my belayer. At 70 feet, I finally got found a decent placement (the first and last one) that gave me confidence that I wouldn’t ground out. I doubled it up and continued. The last 35 feet was exciting. I moved out onto the right arête, which was like climbing a teetering stack of broken dishes. Nothing seemed to be attached to anything. The last move was a joy. Facing a 70 footer into a corner if I fell, I had to climb up and then through a dead, barely rooted pine tree. I flopped over the edge at the top, punctured and bleeding from the tree adventure. I was physically, emotionally, psychologically wrecked, and yet I was flying--perhaps even higher than when I started the climb! If the rock had been solid, the whole climb would have been easy—maybe 5.8 max. But given the incredible shittiness of the rock, I had climbed what felt like 5.10, because I was only willing to commit my existence to the few semi-solid holds hidden among a plethora of worthless ones. After a few minutes of recovering and rejoicing, I set up an anchor off a few trees and belayed Dan up. As he climbed it, pulling and kicking off rocks ever other move, all he could say was “holy shit” over and over. When he arrived at the top we just looked at each other, laughed and had the same thought—“let’s get back to the bachelor party and have a beer or eight!” As we walked down, we wondered if anyone else had ever been stupid enough to climb this line. I have no idea, but we took the liberty of naming the line anyway. In honor of Eric’s wedding the next day, we named it “To Death Do Us Part Dihedral” 5.8 R/X. Epilogue: The next day at the wedding we told Eric’s dad (a Bend local) of our adventure. He told us a story that made our name for the climb even more appropriate. Apparently a few years earlier, a guy killed his wife at this very same cliff. He told the police that he and his wife were climbing and had an accident which resulted in her death. But after the police brought in some climbers to help the police investigate the guy’s story, the police concluded that he’d murdered her, and tried to make it look like a climbing accident. I can only guess what the climbers helping the police investigate the incident might have said: “Nobody in their right mind would climb here—there’s no way to protect it, and the rock is so crappy it’d be suicidal!!!” I’d give the climb no stars, and recommend it to none but my mortal enemies, yet the experience was unforgettable! [ 02-18-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]

I personally don't mind climbing with newbies some of the time, cause I like to lead. And when you're the one leading, you get to decide what to climb!

Hey Jayb, I'm curious specifically how you fell--were you sliding on hands and knees? Did you tumble? Did you tear up your hands trying instinctively to grab the rock and slow yourself down as you fell? Where did you get the worst "slab rash?" I've never taken a big fall on a slab, so my thought are just conjecture and I'd be interested in hearing more informed opinions. On smooth pure friction slabs with no features, I've always prepared myself mentally to just stay balanced, keep my weight on my shoes while rapidly "crawling" backwards with my hands and feet. On a climb with smooth rock and no features I've thought this might be the best option. If its a knobbly slab or a slab with edges and features, the risk is that your feet could easily catch a knob or edge and you could break either ankle or flip yourself over sideways or backwards. Its hard for me to imagine that turning and running would be an realistic option unless you choose it before you actually fell. That would require that you give up and resign yourself to falling--which I think is a bad idea. My thought is that backpeddling or a controlled slide and some bad slab rash would be preferable to doing something "rash" that would cause you to tumble and risk breaking bones or whacking your head. On the sharp, crystal studded knobby slabs like in Tuolomne, you'd probably just shred yourself. In those cases, there seems to be no good options so I'd just focus on NOT falling. [ 02-13-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]

Hey yungburra, the Park pub--it might also be called the Woodland Park pub--is on the hill west of greenlake (phinney ridge). It's on the same street at Woodland Park zoo (phinney and 60 somthingth). See all ya'll jokers there!

Anyone want to go climbing on Wednesday? I'm thinking maybe Index, Vantage or Mt. Erie. It'd be nice to climb in the sun. I haven't touched rock in 3 mo and I'm weak but I'm jonesing. If nothing else, I'll solo TR, but it'd be more fun to do some leading. PM if interested! [ 02-12-2002: Message edited by: Uncle Tricky ]