joekania

Last post on "moderators" was 7-10-02. Get legal, man, and we'll crank and a couple.

Brace yourselves for another gaper epic from joekania. My first summer in CO me and my buddies found ourselves awake at 4am, out of beer and not drunk enough. Well we came up with the brilliant idea of climbing a 14er. I had to be home between 7 and 8am to let the carpet cleaners in, so we rolled out of town at the crack of 10:30, gunning for Mt. Antero. When we were halfway through South Park (yes, that south park), we saw our target peak swarmed with nasty looking clouds. A quick look in the gazeteer and we pointed our noses to Mt Bross, the next closest 14er. We parked and made an alpine start of one o'clock...pm. We somehow summitted and started down, finishing in the dark, no flashlight, staggering on alpine terrain that was more than likely private property. I think my spare layer was a baja pullover (like Jeff Spiccoli wore in Fast Times). If we'd had any clue, we could've bagged two more 14ers on the ridgeline. It was such a success we did it a couple more times that summer. End gaper epic.

Well done, grasshopper.

Gawd, I can't believe I've been reduced to justifying my spraying of the Red Monk. ....i'll remember to work on my syntax when i'm posting anywhere near you... ....but we aren't typically too worried about spelling and sentence composition.... .... cause i dont give a shit about grammar... ....how can i spray with the likes of trask if i have to worry about things like grammar and spelling.... All your posts in "Moderators- A Critique." Also, I would like to extend my thanks for your recognition of my phallic endowment that allows me to self-fornicate. No worries, bra, it's all good. We'll bond over an epic on Da Toof!

ellipsis, singular ellipses, plural Thanks for making the distinction.

Redpunk, I don't care what you think because you apparently can't form a cohesive thought. You brought up your grammar on the board, that made it fair game. But don't worry, the waah-mbulance is on the way since some big bully picked on a wee 20-year old's grammar. And from now on, please fume quietly at your employer's fast-food restaurant, all the hot air you're blowing around here is melting the jello. PS- Heavy periods are "menses," THREE periods in a row is an "ellipsis"

If the truth hurts, maybe you can't handle the truth.

Does spelunking, then (in the Freudian sense), represent a wish to get back to the womb?

It's funny you brought it up, Dennis, I just heard back from a friend I had told my recent climbing exploits to; someone whose judgement I value highly. She told me to climb my heart out, and if the person I am with can't appreciate the happiness it is bringing me, and into the relationship, then move on. I have the luxury of being single and childless, but it made an impact on me. Life is too short to live it unhappily.

I guess I would be completely miserable if I didn't climb. It is either an escape, a form of self-destruction, or something I found that actually makes me happy. I'm going with c) makes me happy. Also a good substitute for dating- first you become infatuated with a mountain, find out everything you can, get to know it, commit to a line, reach a climax; after the initial rush wears off, you see another, more attractive, mountain; then you suffer the rigors of a descent, the process begins over. The biggest plus to this analogy is that the stories are much much more entertaining. Not to mention climbing is an initial turn-on for a girl, then a total turn off when they realize you'll be spending weekends sweating and grunting with guys far from toilets while risking your life on a widow-and-orphan-making hobby. So I might as well climb as much as I can, right?

Why, Tex, you are the proud owner of a gourmet assortment of horsecock and cheese! And just a word to the wise, Redmonk is breathing down your neck- he just might slip past you for next week's winner. Seems sk's non-sequitur writing style is a match for his disdain of grammar and heavy hand on the period key! Also note that the only time he uses capitals is when he displays his affection for her. And one more thing you really ought to know- my last name in Polish means "He who walks with the snafflehounds." I have made no attempt to contact the noble beasts, yet they gather unto me in the wild in a peaceful throng and guide me to the sick lines.

This week's winner: quote: Originally posted by texplorer: PS Don't try to use your posts to attract women. The women here are extremely gulible and swoon to even the slightest show of masculinity (sk not included). Why can't we all be civilized on here?

Uh, trask, I think that should be "strap-on" stud muffin...

I find sk to be annoying only when I read her posts. If I simply skip over them, I don't miss anything vaguely related to climbing or to the thread topic. Ever see her post in Gear Critic or Trip Reports? Ever see her NOT be the second post on any Climber's Wall or Spray topic? Or EVER start a topic? Plus there's the added pleasure of seeing her make a drooling, frisky puppy out of the hormone-addled cc.commer of the week. I think the progression was Son of Caveman, trask, Mikeadam, trask, Iain, trask...not quite sure who it is this week, stay tuned...

OK, I have to come clean. I dropped a Steamer in the mountains once, and now I can't keep him from posting on cc.com.

I was on it Monday and it wasn't suncupped at all. In fact the folks flying down on boards seemed to be having a blast, leaving me wishing for a set instead of slogging down in my climbing boots. Enjoy!

hey, meat markets are at least halfway cool.

Cool report and route. I liked the pics.

Thanks for all the kudos. It had occurred to us some of the features we were looking for were buried under snow and resembled snow slopes instead of ledges, or too-steep gullies. May have to try it again in drier conditions.

Lurkers remember him as the formidable cc.com Spraylord, backcountry skiers think of him as only a blur, rock rats know him as a hardman cranker, and trees everywhere fear his buzzing appendages. But what was it in that now infamous night on Mt. Rainier that caused him such notoriety? What brought down the clean-living image that was so loved by cc.commers? Tonight Behind the Spray takes a look at the man who was caught with the grin on his face, the red in his eyes and the reefer in his hands. Stay tuned as our next installment peels back the many layers of the legend known simply as: AlpineK! [ 06-28-2002, 05:56 PM: Message edited by: joekania ]

Damn! Heinous thread creep as a cure for boredom?! C'mon people, you can be a little more creative than ANTS!

quote: Originally posted by Dennis Harmon: joekania, That's a heck of a good point... but a little too radical/extreme for us. Better to reserve that technique for the next generation. Dennis I'll bet some amoral GenY/Zers will be bolting it from the bottom rope soon, eh, Dennis?

So if you're a bumbly scuba-climber, do you need to set up a bottom rope system? And why not pump your BD to the max and then downclimb? Inverted?

After an illustrious stint in the Airborne Rangers, many alpine, rock and ice ascents in the Cascades and British Columbia, stellar adventures backcountry skiing as well as climbs with an endless string of climbing celebrities, you would think this climber was living a fulfilled, rich life. But after public feuds with Lambone and Dan Larson, it was evident all was not ambrosia and nectar on Mt. Olympus. Join us as Behind the Spray takes an inside look at Cpt. Caveman!

quote: Originally posted by AlpineK: Wow, that guy is something else, and I do mean something else. Yeah, but something else in a noun way, or in an adjective way?