pope

Oh, and uh, Q#7 is still open. The questions will be challenging from here out, but here's a hint: there is a point in the film where Montaigne announces he will be the oldest man to have climbed the Eiger, and he reveals his age.

Pencil Boy, As a big biker dude once said to me, when I declined his woman's invitation to play billiards, "Pussies don't play." May I suggest you watch the movie. Then you'll understand the mania behind this quiz...if you're smart enough to follow the plot and snappy dialogue. Until then, SHUT UP!

George. She is Ben's little girl. She's the reason Ben Bowman got involved with the other side: Miles Mellough helped her get off drugs! But yes, she certainly adds something(s) to the film! Check out the Brenda Venus website if you get a chance.

I think Eastwood probably feels trapped by his gun-slingin' image; how else do you account for some of the sensitive, artsy, jazz-listenin', woman-respectin' characters he's played most recently? I recall a certain Ellensburg climber who felt trapped by his image, back when C. Griffith and Ben Moon were auctioning their dreads and donating proceeds to the access fund. He had some kind of special thing he was willing to donate to the auction, but I don't remember the details. Seems Big-Wall Erika and Donna Top-Step announced this inspirational gesture in a letter to a periodical. Anyway, "pope" is the correct answer to question six, and we should be approaching some more difficult questions shortly. Question 7. Hemlock is to join an international team of climbers for an ascent of the Eiger. How old is the oldest member of this team?

At 5:52 a.m. Saturday morning, Pope killed his engine and coasted quietly into Dwayner's driveway. He removed the key from his car's ignition prior to opening the door...he didn't want Dwayner to lecture him about any unnecessary noise from those annoying safety beepers. Pope cautiously tip-toed up the driveway, making every attempt to be absolutely quiet. Pope even held his breath as he rounded the corner toward Dwayner's patio, where he stepped on a pine cone. Suddenly, Dwayner burst out of the house. "You idiot! I've got neighbors here, and they're trying to sleep. Could you try showing a little respect? I mean, just because there's a pine cone there, it doesn't mean you have to step on it. You don't have to live near these people, but they're my neighbors. I don't want to have to apologize for all of the noise you're making. And furthermore, ....." After more than an hour of listening to Dwayner play Zappa's "Dangerous Kitchen", Pope was hankering for some snackage, and he suggested a visit to the Bunk Haus. Dwayner burst into the coffee shop, slamming the door into a nearby table where two crunchy girls, who had been reading a Bonnnington book, gave Dwayner stink eye. Finally on the trail, Dwayner expressed his excitement about exploring this remote corner of MRNP. A sign cautioned that we were traveling an unmaintained trail, and we saw no evidence of humans, only the tracks of some enormous mountain cat. Just as Pyramid Peak came into view, Pope noticed a comb sitting on a stump. Dwayner expressed his disgust that there seemed to be no remaining wilderness that hasn't been molested by sport climbers. From there things just got worse. Not only did we have to share our objective (what we had thought to both a unique idea and a great accomplishment) with other hikers, we found a pile of human excrement on the summit. Even Pope knows better than to behave like that. [This message has been edited by pope (edited 08-28-2001).]

DAVID, you're a real sport, agreeing to give the question to Charlie. Clint did do all of his own stunts for this flick, and I agree with your logic: he probably learned more shooting pictures on that nasty "mordwand" than he did pussing around on clean Yosemite granite. Therefore, I'm convinced that you should get credit for your answer. BTW, if Clint is your manly celluloid hero, don't let your gal drag you out to see the Bridges of Madison County. It'll make you puke. Also, if you're looking to simulate Eiger conditions, I know a guy at the UW rock who will throw rubber playground balls (all the while yelling "Rock!" and "Incoming death asteroid!") while you work laps on the hand cracks! CHRISS, "CII" is popularly mistaken to be the initials standing for Central Intelligence Institute. It is actually the Roman-numeric representation of the number 102, which counts the espionage/intelligence agencies and divisions that form this massive, blundering operation. Chris, that is an excellent question for more advanced players, and as we approach the final questions in our quiz, your familiarity with Trevanian's masterpiece will serve you well. Question 6. This character, according to Trevanian, loved playing peekaboo. At critical points throughout the film, one may observe him spraying breath freshener, inhaling sinus spray, or reading Playpen Magazine. He is "the man outside" who sends Clint a message at the hotel in Kleine Scheidegg. Who is he?

According to some production notes I have, Clint trained on the Lost Arrow in Yosemite. Charlie, congratulations on this question, but more importantly on your successful ascent of the "Village Whiner" at the Town Wall. Did you go with Hemlock? David, if you know details of any training that took place on the Eiger, or if you just think this was a shitty question, I'd be happy to give both you and Charlie credit for a correct answer. Let me know what you think is fair. Hemlock, you're damn right. Clint should have learned his knots from the Whittaker Guides...maybe he wouldn't keep getting his corduroy-knickered butt kicked by the Eiger. Question 5. Which character is responsible for the following quote: I'd rather be screwin' Montaigne's wife. Wait 'til you catch her act. She's a regular man-trap. Built like a brick shit house. I feel sorry for the poor bastard who's got to keep his eyes on her.

Regarding exposure/altitude: We're frickin' up here, so no frickin' up here!

For crying out loud, just drink the water. The bugs you might catch will only help you get down to sport-climbing weight.

I have no information that says Clint trained on the Eiger, although they certainly filmed on the Eiger and I'm sure he learned how to strap on his crampons there. Last hint: Clint attended mountain school in the U.S., in a location where you might see A WHOLE BUNCH OF CALIFORNIA GRANITE! Does this help?

And, Charlie, how many paintings does he have? Also, what approach did you guys use for Mt. Stuart the other day?

Gee wiz, Dane, that certainly is efficient. Third question: In persuading Jonathan to accept the first sanction, Dragon manipulates Hemlock by threatening to reveal the details behind how he obtained a special collection. What is Jonathan collecting, and how many does he have?

I like a rigid system for almost everything but walking in the snow/glacier hikes. For warmth and support, you can't beat plastic. Since plastic boots are rigid, I don't see the advantage in hinged crampons. On steep ground, obviously the more rigid the better (at least that's what the girl at the picnic said). Chouinard rigid crampons with Scottish straps provide a reliable and light-weight solution. I've had balling problems .....with my crampons, in wet snow...with most everything I've tried. Nothing a little duct tape won't fix. I have no idea whether you can still buy such a crampon system.

We're looking for the place Clint trained FOR the film, not IN the film/book.

Good guess, but wrong. Say, Wopper, you're not the same guy posting as Hemlock, are you? Anyway, here's a hint: this climbing school is located in such a place that one could climb rock, ride horses and get married, all within walking distance.

Mentioning coffee, I heard a rumor that Fred B. has a McDonald's styrofoam coffee cup which he has lacquered. Truly an infinitely voluminous cup of j-j-j-jitter juice.

Clint is known to have attended a climbing school in preparation for filming The Eiger Sanction. Question 4: Where did Clint go to mountain school?

You're a pathetic addict. I recommend you never try a snort of coke.

Charlie, I can see you've been doing your homework. Our second question comes from the same scene: Pope has delivered a specially prepared, C2 handgun for Hemlock's Eiger climb. Where should Hemlock find this gun?

I got this idea from Dwayner, but when heading over the pass in January, somebody calls for a "freeze-out". Essentially, the heater goes off, the shirts come off, then the windows go down, and you continue until somebody pusses out. This is tremendous fun with a bunch of party girls!

On my last trip to Joshua Tree, Hemlock and I flew down to Ontario, rented a zippy little babe magnet, then spent as much time sleezing around town, boozin' and dining out, as we did climbing. I remember the splendid road trips I used to take, where every penny counted, but where time was less of a consideration. There are certainly ways to make these trips go smoothly and cheaply, from eating cat food and potatoes to poaching showers from gals back in town. But I'm going to start this list with ways to stay awake on the longer drives: Dwayner used to have this wig and.....well, need I say more?

Anybody can play, although the last round demonstrated that many of you are familiar with this masterpiece. There will be ten questions, and I will post them when I get the opportunity, not according to any schedule. I'm really excited about the prize this round: an authentic, insulated, Whittaker Bunk Haus travel mug! The first questions will be easy, but after that it will be difficult to answer without studying the book or renting the movie. Question 1: In a fight, outside the train station in Kleine Scheideg, Hemlock steps on Clement Pope's hand as Pope reaches for an iron bar. We hear the crunching of fingers, followed by Pope's groaning. Then Hemlock ensures Pope that he'll be OK, although a particular activity may be temporarily difficult for Pope, given the condition of his hand. What activity?

Cobra, that's beautiful. We should have some kind of turd competition at the big cc.com bash at Bridge Creek camp (see Beck for details). I've got a special high-fiber diet involving celery, pine needles, together with a special ingredient which keeps everything glued together without retarding the delivery process. Anyway, I saw Paul Myhre interviewed on King-5 television last night, but that's not the amazing part. What struck me as particularly unusual is that the interview was not conducted at Gustav's. Guess it requires a brush fire to get that guy away from the tits-n-butts-beer one may experience at that joint. [This message has been edited by pope (edited 08-16-2001).]

Al Givler's Crack, Givler's Dome, 11-worth Split Pillar, right side, Squamish Chief Easter Overhang, Midnight Rock, 11-worth Damnation Crack, Castle Rock, 11-worth Brass Balls, Castle Rock Split Beaver, Split Beaver, Squamish GM, The Country, Index Caboose, Malamute, Squamish Wonderland, Smokebluffs, Squamish Pumpline, Careno Crag, 11-worth Prussik Peak, Burgner/Stanley, 5th pitch

I skipped out early, having promised my daughter her first camping experience (yes, we camped in the back yard). Must have been about ten cc.com "posters" out at the Swiss last night. Dwayner was flashing his tits when I left!