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Index, Pigs and Passion (What Really Happened)


schlangeschmecker

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The PIG was hung four seperate times over four years, by a group of three core members, and two helpers. The first PIG was found by Fred Grafton, who suggested the deed to the core three. After the initial rigging, Dean re-rigged the PIG to near the tunnel.

 

That ain't the way I heard it. See, from what I heard, ol' CrazyJZ had a pig fetish. His buddies all knew about it. In fact, Crazy was livin' in his mom's basement and employed as a sausage inspector at the rendering plant in Sultan. He had access to as many pigs as he could romance, but he didn't have health insurance, and so his buddies had to finance Crazy's visits to the clinic after he contracted Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus from one of the more promiscuous piggies. When Crazy got fired (for porking the pork on his coffee break), he used his severance pay to rescue his saucy sow, to which he had by now become a little attached (or so it appeared when his buddies tried to cop a show by peeking through the Index step-van window). Anyway, he was spending way too much time with Miss Piggy, and his core of buddies got a little jealous. While Crazy's climbing game had gone from bad to pathetic, he was still the only guy in the drunken group who could lead 5.8 A2, and without their rope gun, they just weren't knockin' out the pitches. They had to act, and their solution was to murder the pig. This provided only a temporary fix as Crazy found it within himself to love her despite her lack of response to his skilled advances. Crazy's buddies finally figured out that the only way to put an end to this was to hang the damn thing high on a 5.11 climb where she'd be out of ol' Crazy's reach. But who did they know who could climb a 5.11 and help haul the carcass? Don't you want to know? Stay tuned.

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