Beacon

[Dennis H]

Now that's old school!!

[MrGecko]

BEWARE OF OLD MENS PITONS

 

Anyone driving pitons at Beacon needs to pass some age requirements, Joe how old were you when those pitons went in?

 

"Myth 3:- You drive a piton in until the pitch of the ringing stops rising. All the pitons I tested had different pitches of ringing, angles making a lovely sound even when not in a crack. Stopping driving early when the pitch appeared tobe at it´s highest gave easy to remove pitons, in fact what we considered `good´ turned out to be unable to even hold the initial weight of the tester. The maximum pull-out resistance was achieved when they were "beaten to death", either because we just couldn´t hit them any harder or they started to collapse. Of course ones ability to hear when the ringing stops rising could be age related anyway, beware of old mens pitons!"

 

 

[Dennis H]

MrGecko Can you hear us now.!!!!

[pink]

BEWARE OF OLD MENS PITONS

 

Anyone driving pitons at Beacon needs to pass some age requirements, Joe how old were you when those pitons went in?

 

"Myth 3:- You drive a piton in until the pitch of the ringing stops rising. All the pitons I tested had different pitches of ringing, angles making a lovely sound even when not in a crack. Stopping driving early when the pitch appeared tobe at it´s highest gave easy to remove pitons, in fact what we considered `good´ turned out to be unable to even hold the initial weight of the tester. The maximum pull-out resistance was achieved when they were "beaten to death", either because we just couldn´t hit them any harder or they started to collapse. Of course ones ability to hear when the ringing stops rising could be age related anyway, beware of old mens pitons!"

 

 

the rock at beacon is pretty soft, not much ringing going on there compared to granite. btw, what's your point?

 

[ivan]

1/15/14 - day 1 - what better way to mark mlk's berfday (and my inaugural beacon ascent of this foul year of our lord two-ought-fourteen) than to "climb to the mountain-top?"

 

the national wedder service promised portentous skies, a bold moon, a hero-ascent, but mike n' geoff n' i settled for much less - cloud murk on the evening drive - a shaft of bright sun at cope horn, than all gone, sucked down into a cloud vortex, a river of moist, cold air motoring on down to portland

 

the rock super slobbery gob-smacked wet n' drippy n' perspiring beads of putrid moss-muck - soon full dark and just cans of flowery beer n' bike-bottles of sweet-wine to pass the time waiting for one warrior-poet-god-king or t'other to Put the Rope up there

 

to the new season and to the storms that will not settle until they have shit all they have to shat upon us!

 

1/21/14 - day 2 - my first solo lap of 2014 and the first maybe for me ever in the month dedicated to that dolorous diety, janus, the god of fortune n' gaudy expectations for the gaunt future - exam week for these ersatz earthlings, they don't seem to deem it of much import - quaint conversations with a curious few in my office hours, some felicitous graduates even stopped on by, delaying me w/o thought as the daylight ticked away and we dispensed w/ the troubled history of the Temple Mount

 

a savage head-wind on the drive in - not warp 9 mind you, but we've definitely made the jump to light-speed - the big bulk of the durango barely making head-way it seemed - the lot w/ two rides of climbers, and good-ole kenny one of them - i froze as i fumbled into my high-tech war-gear and spritned down the trail, croc-shod, just to stay warm - trees down all over the place - folks bailing down young warriors - kenny n' arent just casting off up the corner, all glistening dry n' clambery after last week's sodden adventure

 

climb 50 feet to a stance - thrust fingers against my bare belly to bring back the feeling, then 50 feet more - blasted through the distance w/ dispatch, eschewing uprising n' opting for the longer exit - both peregrines flapping n' screeching n' flyign off as i surprised them at the top by the pin, me deep under 3 layers of hat, head down and figuring what's the worst case scenario should they dive-bomb me?

 

happy, happy day - 1 month of winter dispensed with and more sun for a good long pull still predicted - half the school year done with and we head for the long downhill that bowls us merrily out into summer in the Big Ditch n' anything else mis amigos can propose for diversion

 

1/22 - day 3 - lap 2 of the new year - beacon all alone, nary a soul on the south side - solid grey gloom all day in camas but sunbreaks and inspirations on the drive in, cooled by camels n' a can of rolling rock - cold but much less wind than yesterday, the ranger flag barely flapping - an uneventful ascent n' an easy ramble on down, discoursing w/ a few tourists n' sopping up the views of the dappled river n' dim, setting sun

 

1/24 - day 4 - truly, a january hat-trick, such a stretch of weather so close to our tragic shut-down i can't recollect - warp 5 winds at cape horn, helm's a lee and shuddering at the next road-cut, truly wing n' a prayer conditions on the drive-in

 

kenny's ride in the lot, i crawl into my war-kit n' cast off, scudding down the trail w/ my top-masts unfurled, screeching down the thing before my tits freeze off - race up the corner in the hurricane wind, my hands down my pants every half-pitch, hand-job from a stranger it feels in the forceful breeze - my breath grabbed from my lungs before i can suck it in, panting

 

beers n' butts down by the boat-launch, fuckers passed out in the sweat-lodge again, rocked by the endless gales gusting over from the island - plans to make plans w/ adam n' kenny n' geoff for the what-have-you on hood soon hereafter

 

can this mad season manage to continue?

 

1/31 - day 5 - the dying day, beacon about to be banned and gone till the sun of summer grows high in the western sky - i dreamed that this stretch of winter-dry might linger, but it was not to last- rain all week, not a chance of a solo - friday the final desperate hope, the signs all set to be cemented into place - fuck off you unfeeling fumbling freak

 

no partner could i prepare - mike too molested - kenny contaminated - adam all a'hoo - so i drove out in the growing dusk, gunmetal gray all around, a fresh pack of poison n' a wondrous hip-flask of you-know-what - i lusted that i might arrive to an ecological aberration, a monstrous monolith undamaged by the falling damps of late; slut-dream i deemed, and damned so it turned out - the lot besodden n' me too it seemed - no courage at all to contend w/ the dripping cliffs - i settled instead for a romp up the retard trail, rope in tail

 

a pleasant rappel it shoulda been, but my belay device turned bitchy, and i tossed it into the trash-heap after - hurk n' jerk n' force-feed, the 'biner all besmirched w/ rope-shakings - a smoke n'a few-fingers on the ledge, then continued on down, the day dying and the golden globe breaking out in bold shafts of light at the last minute - finally at the base, in the dark, i trod along the way w/ bottle n' soaked in the scene so soon to be denied - up the trail at last, i found the preternatural phucks had already posted their signs closing the fucker down!

 

to summer, may it soon come!

 

2/22 - day 6 - calm n' chilly - snow in the trenches of the north side - busted burritoes - bad black-ass coffee - a ringing crescendo of a half-baked hangover - siege tactics - lawn chair - hammering - beer(s) n' satan smoke - red rover red rover - calm at the end of day

 

bryan hanging on the big-green-big-boi

drippy drippy drippy

crept back into the deeps of the glistening cave

 

3/8 - day viii - a pre-pour cascade chevauchee - mike, the jovian giant, rides the road to greet me there - weeds and whimperings - a gift of gods, road-smokes - the sodden trail so soon it climbs - waterfalls past whispering volumes - the cobble-stone cliffs a proper place to puff a butt n' down the dregs of harsh ales - rain upon the return to the road - vivian savaging the scofflaws

 

3/16 - 9th day - a sunday stolt - sad rain predicted, but not so grim it ended - geoff at camas right at the crack of nine, me awoke on the couch, gob-smacked, not a few minutes before - reborn in beer stench and debasement

 

went adventurneering - hiking up to the top, then scrambled down to big trees n' fixed a big long rope to a tree, rapped down, conquered n' crooned, then jugged back up - fun times - the big old log sent down 2 falls ago found all bound-up tight to a tree anchor - mental lines drone over dreary block-land

 

later did some adventure rapping down the west side, then clambered back up the alpine route to 3-tree ledge, finishing w/ a funky-sad rap for geoff back down to the ground

 

4/25-27 - days 10-12 - the long awaited hollabahoo - infernal plans pondered n proceeded upon even as mudder-earth pissed relentlessly all over them - friday mike, geoff n' i hike 6 ropes up to the summit, hop the railing, n' fix from there to the ground - bursts of sunshine here and there - the work quickly over and we head over, swingers-style, 3 of us in 3 cars to discover the whereabouts of the secret rebel base

 

a fine evenign drinking all kinds of things as the rain came and went - yer lebowski lebowski, etc, etc

 

saturday not so terrible at first w/ sun and scudding clouds - strangers assemble - the party grows by leaps and bounds - eventually a few of us head off to jug the lines - some wierd spots here and there and i nearly killed unknown tourists by kicking off a few good sized stones - at the summit i drank a beer than promptly damn-near broke my ankle by turning over on it while walking down the stairs and dodging the tourons - sigh...

 

saturday evening too epic to attempt description - dogs n' kids, raffels, ole'opdycke, speeches and salutations, the savage post-amniotic scene splayed out - rain builds upon rain, the beers go deeper and deeper, and soon the day rode out of me

 

sunday really quite nasty w/ wind and sheets of steel rain - a slow stumble-fuck back to the summit after breaking camp n' making our farewells - felt tempted to turn back from the recovery operation at the moment of truth but luckily geoff dissappeared over the edge and it was too late - not too tough to get it all back, thanks to help from geoff n' dave - strong weather once we hit earth, but then the weekend was over and it was time for wine n' school work n' hbo-fare

 

happy 70th old man

 

may day! #13 for the year (holy sheeit muslims, should i've known that, i'd a been a mit more skert!)

 

lovely wedder, wicked hawt for spring - crunchy moss - many tourons - birds bitching n' circling n' crying all over the place

 

hum along fellow travelers, hum along

 

Stand up, damned of the Earth

Stand up, prisoners of starvation

Reason thunders in its volcano

This is the eruption of the end.

Of the past let us make a clean slate

Enslaved masses, stand up, stand up.

The world is about to change its foundation

We are nothing, let us be all.

This is the final struggle

Let us group together, and tomorrow

The Internationale

Will be the human race.

 

5/7 - #14 - a rare may-day 24-hour wedder-window - bright sunshine n' light wind - the river runs full - lions abound, loll n' leap, embayed, the waves lap over them - damn near cock-blocked by bastard choo-choos way back at the dawn of day

 

5/12 - #15 - piercing sun, a soothing, steady breeze, and balmy skies - no time for cheap heroics, just an hour between bothersome obligations - a quick blitz and off i wandered - beautiful, sloe-eyed ladies on the trail, so very nice

 

5/14 - day sixteen - hell of an evening for a hike, the lot stale and empty near dusk - a bitter day of bickering w/ the man and waging holy jihad on behalf of my perplexed polity - all is fair in love n' hate, no?

 

5/15-6 - days 17-18 - awful bickering w/ vicious bastards across an itty-bitty table followed by lunar ambulations followed by a day of drooling, dumb-founded by dipshits, done at last with a pleasant stroll up a sunny trail into the soothing sky

 

5/20 - number 19 - after strong storms sunday, all is clear and bright and dryish and balmy - a billion boaters sucking up the salmon on the main channel, no doubt the source of the strong salmon stank in the bathroom - the n side in groovy, groovy conditions - peregrines pirouetting n' screeching piss off despite their confusion on which side exactly they have for their private privations - summer's breathe subsuming all

 

5/22 - day 20 - strange storms brewing, vexing vapors rise and seethe at the setting sun - a quick run up the well-worn trail and back for politics n' pissing matches before the working-man's day was even done - a mere month till the sweet solstice, then california dreams and soon that southern bitch will be blossomed-up n' street-legal once more?

 

6/4 - blackjaaaack! - choking, guttering, drowning in my own bile doing battle w/ these bilious bastards - no space to see, no air to breathe - jesus christ man, the weasels have built condos 'round this mother-fucker they've been camped out here so long. fled in horror in the middle of a meeting and slummed me way out, nipping on luke-warm stale keg-beer on the short cruise. a quick rattle on up, sleazy tourists in tattered tee's abiding everywhere. will it never be dawn?

 

D-Day, 70 years on - Day Double Dos for the Year - geoff rolls into the bk a tad late, all tricked out in his curvaceous corvette, me sucking down rapidly warming swill in the shade and puzzling over my biblical tome regarding the life n' times of that cornelius vanderbilt motherfucker

 

a true rare day, how often do you climb something new at beacon? last year i saw them old fellers working out their labor of love near the spike route and today was finally the day to give it a go - wow, what a wonderfully unusual bit of stone it saunters up - the second pitch the most slab-tacular out at beacon - amazingly crisp and clean rock w/ millions of microscopic curious cross-hatched horizontal lines that make smearing oh-so-sweet - geoff got that lead and suffered for it - i followed and couldn't figure out how not to cheat at one point in wierd pod, feet all askew and off-line

 

we rambled on up to the trail after a sesh at rancho relaxo - those upper pitches so super stupid it's a wonder i do them even once a year - oceans of oak, and me in shorts like i've not an iota of an idea what the fuck i'm at

 

3 days of damned seniors left to suffer through - the rock n' roll types clearing out the pipes and set-ready to start belting out "schooooooooooooool's ooooooooooout foooooor daa suuuuuuuuuummmmmmmer!!!!!!!"

 

6/11 - day 23 - mighty prime - another day of gentle ambulations, alcohol-adled, on the north side on sublime slab routes i'd not yet done - sailed out swiftly in the hms revenge w/ first mate swabbie silverman - fun n' games n' all that shit, up-down-n-all-around - allergy attacks for the lot of us n' shaping out to be a shitty season for the mozzies too ta boot - a sleepy drive home, my all slumber-stupid after awaking in the awful dawn to get the familias on that far-flying plane on back to the old dominion - 3 more work days till we say fukit to the welter-weight blues

 

7/14 - die XXIV - opening n' bastille day bitches, there's new baguette-muff on the field - rumors were of a rock wicked-hot, yet arrived mid-afternoon to cool temps n' pleasant breezes - shot up young warriors w/ geoff n' saw no sign of that kurious kev-bone feller, yet i was sure he'd have been up n' at it long afore we arrived - jim n' kenny did the corner about the same time and was glorious to see ole'jim giddup the route w/o a hitch despite his big what-have-you of a few months back - beers n' bullshiting at the ledge, not a fucking cigarette between the whole dirty lot of us - i felt so healthy and like a herpes-ridden cock-handler at the same time

 

7/15 - day 25 - 20 years ago this night i finally got into the good graces of the woman i've been w/ ever since

 

dodd's w/ a spot of wind-surf'n in the morn w/ ben n' his boy, then afternoon jill's w/ kenny after a head-swim'n sesh out at the no-bo-trifecta w/ smoky jim, a new stranger n' plenty wierd - kevbone thrown'n down on the warrior - american teenage spirit permeating through the day - the no-bo circle complete - wine n' ginned up neighbors - a plan for the morrow crafted and curved to fit the needs of a world on the crest of a true and beautiful wave

 

7/16 - #26 - last day alone for the summer - woke in fog and tempest in the mid-morning - sleep w/ dogs, wake w/ fleas, confirmed - wine n' breakfast n' tidying up - long pull to bonneville by 1 to fetch young kenneth - lightning ascent of warriors and good fun in the breeze n' shade - down just in time to sprint out to pdx to bring the magic home - gardening n' gabbing - pizza n' parlor tricks - mid-summer satisfaction

 

7/19-20 - days 27 n' 28 - saturday morning doldrums, drifting along on drink and dregs of home-chores - afternoon ambulations camas-ways - bday parties for little bitty peoples - robots and addled adult ramblings - felicitations to the family-folk and fumbled east-wards as evening set in - galloped through the gorge w/ gutfuls of pabst n' crawfuls of camels- emergency core-breach at st. clouds - beacon in the gloaming - geoff in the h.m.s. revenge - giddy-upped the good old corner, passing near a dozen dawdling just below the tip-top - 11 minutes trail to base, pouring sweat and huff-puffing like a wounded fuck

 

party at the no-bo moon-tower soon thereafter - 'skitters n' grill-fare - kids n' cosmo n' numerous curious-fucks - slide show n' half-hearted heckling (i should try harder ) - the evening wore on n' geoff left to Defend his Castle (flush w/ glory after getting hisself a new-gem that day) - Many Beers - the bridge well after midnight, brush and brambles at my half-shod heels - passed out hard near 2 a.m., my sleepign bag for a pillow yet somehow i was well within it by sunrise

 

sunday half-bright and broody - the auold-folks awake - a quick exit even as the weasels wiggle in - out to beaocn for a days-gone-by lap - jibber-jabber w/ jihad-joe as i suck down a pre-noon pabst - the Long Highway home - hashbrowns - helluva time to take a nap

7/29 - day 29 for 2014 - days of storm n' souse - good times w/ the kids in camp, hard rains, and little to do but fuck-all w/ the recently-returned wife (so to speak, literally not literally)

 

planned to climb w/ minnesota adam who i'd not seen since the garden of eden just outside the dynamite cave had been inundated w/ rain in rare days gone by - busted cars n' busted dreams that day, but a spectacular last minute save sucked the bitterness out of the expedition at least

 

tuesday we'd planned at first but morning after morning after morning of ruinous damps downshifted us to friday instead - all set to saunter off in mid-morning

 

i was a bit late meself to the bk-rendezvous after binging n' purging until late the night afore on norse horror-films, stale beer and basic astronomy textbooks - no white boy upon arrival, kewl - kinda thought maybe he'd just boomed out to beacon after i waited 30 minutes - bought some smokes just in case the cosmos had decreed this and went bounding out there w/ a wistful air about me when he still hadn't showed - nope, no early-riser waiting to regard me w/ edged, red eyes, so did a lap on the corner to see if maybe he wouldn't arrive eventually - got back down n' met that ole'boy rick in the lot and smoked all kinds of things, gesticulated wildy and talking-tall while him n' his kid started banging up cruising - this new feller george came gambolling along n' we ended up doing some good things - great guy that newborn-babe-in-the-woods - he got his first leads of crusing and free for all and crushed them

 

ended up w/ jimbo for a while - all your favorite conspiracies considered - goddamn muslims, moon-bases on mars, mormons sucking satan's cock, etc - parted ways as the shade came side-saddling over the south-side n' finished off the day w/ an overladen second solo lap - gallumped on back home well before the banishment of day to break bread w/ the little people and puzzle out this precious weekend before us

 

may summer never die

[LostCamKenny]

[ivan]

can't believe i forgot some horrid phuck kidnapped my sweet fucking hat and hid it in a place i rarely go

 

saved the hat, said hate-shits-on-the-happy to the cord of course

[ivan]

1/15/14 - day 1 - what better way to mark mlk's berfday (and my inaugural beacon ascent of this foul year of our lord two-ought-fourteen) than to "climb to the mountain-top?"

 

the national wedder service promised portentous skies, a bold moon, a hero-ascent, but mike n' geoff n' i settled for much less - cloud murk on the evening drive - a shaft of bright sun at cope horn, than all gone, sucked down into a cloud vortex, a river of moist, cold air motoring on down to portland

 

the rock super slobbery gob-smacked wet n' drippy n' perspiring beads of putrid moss-muck - soon full dark and just cans of flowery beer n' bike-bottles of sweet-wine to pass the time waiting for one warrior-poet-god-king or t'other to Put the Rope up there

 

to the new season and to the storms that will not settle until they have shit all they have to shat upon us!

 

1/21/14 - day 2 - my first solo lap of 2014 and the first maybe for me ever in the month dedicated to that dolorous diety, janus, the god of fortune n' gaudy expectations for the gaunt future - exam week for these ersatz earthlings, they don't seem to deem it of much import - quaint conversations with a curious few in my office hours, some felicitous graduates even stopped on by, delaying me w/o thought as the daylight ticked away and we dispensed w/ the troubled history of the Temple Mount

 

a savage head-wind on the drive in - not warp 9 mind you, but we've definitely made the jump to light-speed - the big bulk of the durango barely making head-way it seemed - the lot w/ two rides of climbers, and good-ole kenny one of them - i froze as i fumbled into my high-tech war-gear and spritned down the trail, croc-shod, just to stay warm - trees down all over the place - folks bailing down young warriors - kenny n' arent just casting off up the corner, all glistening dry n' clambery after last week's sodden adventure

 

climb 50 feet to a stance - thrust fingers against my bare belly to bring back the feeling, then 50 feet more - blasted through the distance w/ dispatch, eschewing uprising n' opting for the longer exit - both peregrines flapping n' screeching n' flyign off as i surprised them at the top by the pin, me deep under 3 layers of hat, head down and figuring what's the worst case scenario should they dive-bomb me?

 

happy, happy day - 1 month of winter dispensed with and more sun for a good long pull still predicted - half the school year done with and we head for the long downhill that bowls us merrily out into summer in the Big Ditch n' anything else mis amigos can propose for diversion

 

1/22 - day 3 - lap 2 of the new year - beacon all alone, nary a soul on the south side - solid grey gloom all day in camas but sunbreaks and inspirations on the drive in, cooled by camels n' a can of rolling rock - cold but much less wind than yesterday, the ranger flag barely flapping - an uneventful ascent n' an easy ramble on down, discoursing w/ a few tourists n' sopping up the views of the dappled river n' dim, setting sun

 

1/24 - day 4 - truly, a january hat-trick, such a stretch of weather so close to our tragic shut-down i can't recollect - warp 5 winds at cape horn, helm's a lee and shuddering at the next road-cut, truly wing n' a prayer conditions on the drive-in

 

kenny's ride in the lot, i crawl into my war-kit n' cast off, scudding down the trail w/ my top-masts unfurled, screeching down the thing before my tits freeze off - race up the corner in the hurricane wind, my hands down my pants every half-pitch, hand-job from a stranger it feels in the forceful breeze - my breath grabbed from my lungs before i can suck it in, panting

 

beers n' butts down by the boat-launch, fuckers passed out in the sweat-lodge again, rocked by the endless gales gusting over from the island - plans to make plans w/ adam n' kenny n' geoff for the what-have-you on hood soon hereafter

 

can this mad season manage to continue?

 

1/31 - day 5 - the dying day, beacon about to be banned and gone till the sun of summer grows high in the western sky - i dreamed that this stretch of winter-dry might linger, but it was not to last- rain all week, not a chance of a solo - friday the final desperate hope, the signs all set to be cemented into place - fuck off you unfeeling fumbling freak

 

no partner could i prepare - mike too molested - kenny contaminated - adam all a'hoo - so i drove out in the growing dusk, gunmetal gray all around, a fresh pack of poison n' a wondrous hip-flask of you-know-what - i lusted that i might arrive to an ecological aberration, a monstrous monolith undamaged by the falling damps of late; slut-dream i deemed, and damned so it turned out - the lot besodden n' me too it seemed - no courage at all to contend w/ the dripping cliffs - i settled instead for a romp up the retard trail, rope in tail

 

a pleasant rappel it shoulda been, but my belay device turned bitchy, and i tossed it into the trash-heap after - hurk n' jerk n' force-feed, the 'biner all besmirched w/ rope-shakings - a smoke n'a few-fingers on the ledge, then continued on down, the day dying and the golden globe breaking out in bold shafts of light at the last minute - finally at the base, in the dark, i trod along the way w/ bottle n' soaked in the scene so soon to be denied - up the trail at last, i found the preternatural phucks had already posted their signs closing the fucker down!

 

to summer, may it soon come!

 

2/22 - day 6 - calm n' chilly - snow in the trenches of the north side - busted burritoes - bad black-ass coffee - a ringing crescendo of a half-baked hangover - siege tactics - lawn chair - hammering - beer(s) n' satan smoke - red rover red rover - calm at the end of day

 

bryan hanging on the big-green-big-boi

drippy drippy drippy

crept back into the deeps of the glistening cave

 

3/8 - day viii - a pre-pour cascade chevauchee - mike, the jovian giant, rides the road to greet me there - weeds and whimperings - a gift of gods, road-smokes - the sodden trail so soon it climbs - waterfalls past whispering volumes - the cobble-stone cliffs a proper place to puff a butt n' down the dregs of harsh ales - rain upon the return to the road - vivian savaging the scofflaws

 

3/16 - 9th day - a sunday stolt - sad rain predicted, but not so grim it ended - geoff at camas right at the crack of nine, me awoke on the couch, gob-smacked, not a few minutes before - reborn in beer stench and debasement

 

went adventurneering - hiking up to the top, then scrambled down to big trees n' fixed a big long rope to a tree, rapped down, conquered n' crooned, then jugged back up - fun times - the big old log sent down 2 falls ago found all bound-up tight to a tree anchor - mental lines drone over dreary block-land

 

later did some adventure rapping down the west side, then clambered back up the alpine route to 3-tree ledge, finishing w/ a funky-sad rap for geoff back down to the ground

 

4/25-27 - days 10-12 - the long awaited hollabahoo - infernal plans pondered n proceeded upon even as mudder-earth pissed relentlessly all over them - friday mike, geoff n' i hike 6 ropes up to the summit, hop the railing, n' fix from there to the ground - bursts of sunshine here and there - the work quickly over and we head over, swingers-style, 3 of us in 3 cars to discover the whereabouts of the secret rebel base

 

a fine evenign drinking all kinds of things as the rain came and went - yer lebowski lebowski, etc, etc

 

saturday not so terrible at first w/ sun and scudding clouds - strangers assemble - the party grows by leaps and bounds - eventually a few of us head off to jug the lines - some wierd spots here and there and i nearly killed unknown tourists by kicking off a few good sized stones - at the summit i drank a beer than promptly damn-near broke my ankle by turning over on it while walking down the stairs and dodging the tourons - sigh...

 

saturday evening too epic to attempt description - dogs n' kids, raffels, ole'opdycke, speeches and salutations, the savage post-amniotic scene splayed out - rain builds upon rain, the beers go deeper and deeper, and soon the day rode out of me

 

sunday really quite nasty w/ wind and sheets of steel rain - a slow stumble-fuck back to the summit after breaking camp n' making our farewells - felt tempted to turn back from the recovery operation at the moment of truth but luckily geoff dissappeared over the edge and it was too late - not too tough to get it all back, thanks to help from geoff n' dave - strong weather once we hit earth, but then the weekend was over and it was time for wine n' school work n' hbo-fare

 

happy 70th old man

 

may day! #13 for the year (holy sheeit muslims, should i've known that, i'd a been a mit more skert!)

 

lovely wedder, wicked hawt for spring - crunchy moss - many tourons - birds bitching n' circling n' crying all over the place

 

hum along fellow travelers, hum along

 

Stand up, damned of the Earth

Stand up, prisoners of starvation

Reason thunders in its volcano

This is the eruption of the end.

Of the past let us make a clean slate

Enslaved masses, stand up, stand up.

The world is about to change its foundation

We are nothing, let us be all.

This is the final struggle

Let us group together, and tomorrow

The Internationale

Will be the human race.

 

5/7 - #14 - a rare may-day 24-hour wedder-window - bright sunshine n' light wind - the river runs full - lions abound, loll n' leap, embayed, the waves lap over them - damn near cock-blocked by bastard choo-choos way back at the dawn of day

 

5/12 - #15 - piercing sun, a soothing, steady breeze, and balmy skies - no time for cheap heroics, just an hour between bothersome obligations - a quick blitz and off i wandered - beautiful, sloe-eyed ladies on the trail, so very nice

 

5/14 - day sixteen - hell of an evening for a hike, the lot stale and empty near dusk - a bitter day of bickering w/ the man and waging holy jihad on behalf of my perplexed polity - all is fair in love n' hate, no?

 

5/15-6 - days 17-18 - awful bickering w/ vicious bastards across an itty-bitty table followed by lunar ambulations followed by a day of drooling, dumb-founded by dipshits, done at last with a pleasant stroll up a sunny trail into the soothing sky

 

5/20 - number 19 - after strong storms sunday, all is clear and bright and dryish and balmy - a billion boaters sucking up the salmon on the main channel, no doubt the source of the strong salmon stank in the bathroom - the n side in groovy, groovy conditions - peregrines pirouetting n' screeching piss off despite their confusion on which side exactly they have for their private privations - summer's breathe subsuming all

 

5/22 - day 20 - strange storms brewing, vexing vapors rise and seethe at the setting sun - a quick run up the well-worn trail and back for politics n' pissing matches before the working-man's day was even done - a mere month till the sweet solstice, then california dreams and soon that southern bitch will be blossomed-up n' street-legal once more?

 

6/4 - blackjaaaack! - choking, guttering, drowning in my own bile doing battle w/ these bilious bastards - no space to see, no air to breathe - jesus christ man, the weasels have built condos 'round this mother-fucker they've been camped out here so long. fled in horror in the middle of a meeting and slummed me way out, nipping on luke-warm stale keg-beer on the short cruise. a quick rattle on up, sleazy tourists in tattered tee's abiding everywhere. will it never be dawn?

 

D-Day, 70 years on - Day Double Dos for the Year - geoff rolls into the bk a tad late, all tricked out in his curvaceous corvette, me sucking down rapidly warming swill in the shade and puzzling over my biblical tome regarding the life n' times of that cornelius vanderbilt motherfucker

 

a true rare day, how often do you climb something new at beacon? last year i saw them old fellers working out their labor of love near the spike route and today was finally the day to give it a go - wow, what a wonderfully unusual bit of stone it saunters up - the second pitch the most slab-tacular out at beacon - amazingly crisp and clean rock w/ millions of microscopic curious cross-hatched horizontal lines that make smearing oh-so-sweet - geoff got that lead and suffered for it - i followed and couldn't figure out how not to cheat at one point in wierd pod, feet all askew and off-line

 

we rambled on up to the trail after a sesh at rancho relaxo - those upper pitches so super stupid it's a wonder i do them even once a year - oceans of oak, and me in shorts like i've not an iota of an idea what the fuck i'm at

 

3 days of damned seniors left to suffer through - the rock n' roll types clearing out the pipes and set-ready to start belting out "schooooooooooooool's ooooooooooout foooooor daa suuuuuuuuuummmmmmmer!!!!!!!"

 

6/11 - day 23 - mighty prime - another day of gentle ambulations, alcohol-adled, on the north side on sublime slab routes i'd not yet done - sailed out swiftly in the hms revenge w/ first mate swabbie silverman - fun n' games n' all that shit, up-down-n-all-around - allergy attacks for the lot of us n' shaping out to be a shitty season for the mozzies too ta boot - a sleepy drive home, my all slumber-stupid after awaking in the awful dawn to get the familias on that far-flying plane on back to the old dominion - 3 more work days till we say fukit to the welter-weight blues

 

7/14 - die XXIV - opening n' bastille day bitches, there's new baguette-muff on the field - rumors were of a rock wicked-hot, yet arrived mid-afternoon to cool temps n' pleasant breezes - shot up young warriors w/ geoff n' saw no sign of that kurious kev-bone feller, yet i was sure he'd have been up n' at it long afore we arrived - jim n' kenny did the corner about the same time and was glorious to see ole'jim giddup the route w/o a hitch despite his big what-have-you of a few months back - beers n' bullshiting at the ledge, not a fucking cigarette between the whole dirty lot of us - i felt so healthy and like a herpes-ridden cock-handler at the same time

 

7/15 - day 25 - 20 years ago this night i finally got into the good graces of the woman i've been w/ ever since

 

dodd's w/ a spot of wind-surf'n in the morn w/ ben n' his boy, then afternoon jill's w/ kenny after a head-swim'n sesh out at the no-bo-trifecta w/ smoky jim, a new stranger n' plenty wierd - kevbone thrown'n down on the warrior - american teenage spirit permeating through the day - the no-bo circle complete - wine n' ginned up neighbors - a plan for the morrow crafted and curved to fit the needs of a world on the crest of a true and beautiful wave

 

7/16 - #26 - last day alone for the summer - woke in fog and tempest in the mid-morning - sleep w/ dogs, wake w/ fleas, confirmed - wine n' breakfast n' tidying up - long pull to bonneville by 1 to fetch young kenneth - lightning ascent of warriors and good fun in the breeze n' shade - down just in time to sprint out to pdx to bring the magic home - gardening n' gabbing - pizza n' parlor tricks - mid-summer satisfaction

 

7/19-20 - days 27 n' 28 - saturday morning doldrums, drifting along on drink and dregs of home-chores - afternoon ambulations camas-ways - bday parties for little bitty peoples - robots and addled adult ramblings - felicitations to the family-folk and fumbled east-wards as evening set in - galloped through the gorge w/ gutfuls of pabst n' crawfuls of camels- emergency core-breach at st. clouds - beacon in the gloaming - geoff in the h.m.s. revenge - giddy-upped the good old corner, passing near a dozen dawdling just below the tip-top - 11 minutes trail to base, pouring sweat and huff-puffing like a wounded fuck

 

party at the no-bo moon-tower soon thereafter - 'skitters n' grill-fare - kids n' cosmo n' numerous curious-fucks - slide show n' half-hearted heckling (i should try harder ) - the evening wore on n' geoff left to Defend his Castle (flush w/ glory after getting hisself a new-gem that day) - Many Beers - the bridge well after midnight, brush and brambles at my half-shod heels - passed out hard near 2 a.m., my sleepign bag for a pillow yet somehow i was well within it by sunrise

 

sunday half-bright and broody - the auold-folks awake - a quick exit even as the weasels wiggle in - out to beaocn for a days-gone-by lap - jibber-jabber w/ jihad-joe as i suck down a pre-noon pabst - the Long Highway home - hashbrowns - helluva time to take a nap

 

7/25 - day 29 for 2014 - days of storm n' souse - good times w/ the kids in camp, hard rains, and little to do but fuck-all w/ the recently-returned wife (so to speak, literally not literally)

 

planned to climb w/ minnesota adam who i'd not seen since the garden of eden just outside the dynamite cave had been inundated w/ rain in rare days gone by - busted cars n' busted dreams that day, but a spectacular last minute save sucked the bitterness out of the expedition at least

 

tuesday we'd planned at first but morning after morning after morning of ruinous damps downshifted us to friday instead - all set to saunter off in mid-morning

 

i was a bit late meself to the bk-rendezvous after binging n' purging until late the night afore on norse horror-films, stale beer and basic astronomy textbooks - no white boy upon arrival, kewl - kinda thought maybe he'd just boomed out to beacon after i waited 30 minutes - bought some smokes just in case the cosmos had decreed this and went bounding out there w/ a wistful air about me when he still hadn't showed - nope, no early-riser waiting to regard me w/ edged, red eyes, so did a lap on the corner to see if maybe he wouldn't arrive eventually - got back down n' met that ole'boy rick in the lot and smoked all kinds of things, gesticulated wildy and talking-tall while him n' his kid started banging up cruising - this new feller george came gambolling along n' we ended up doing some good things - great guy that newborn-babe-in-the-woods - he got his first leads of crusing and free for all and crushed them

 

ended up w/ jimbo for a while - all your favorite conspiracies considered - goddamn muslims, moon-bases on mars, mormons sucking satan's cock, etc - parted ways as the shade came side-saddling over the south-side n' finished off the day w/ an overladen second solo lap - gallumped on back home well before the banishment of day to break bread w/ the little people and puzzle out this precious weekend before us

 

may summer never die

7/27 - XXX - 17th corner lap of the year so far - crawled down the gorge w/ the family crew to drop the little lady off at her girl scout camp - the way back we sauntered up the bacon-wand w/ dog n' friends, me breaking off to do a solo lap n' meet them up top - newbs looking awful lost at the base, casting off 30 feet right of crusing when they were looking for the corner - good times on the walk down and the long way back

[kevbone]

Beacon tonight!!!!!!!!

[ivan]

1/15/14 - day 1 - what better way to mark mlk's berfday (and my inaugural beacon ascent of this foul year of our lord two-ought-fourteen) than to "climb to the mountain-top?"

 

the national wedder service promised portentous skies, a bold moon, a hero-ascent, but mike n' geoff n' i settled for much less - cloud murk on the evening drive - a shaft of bright sun at cope horn, than all gone, sucked down into a cloud vortex, a river of moist, cold air motoring on down to portland

 

the rock super slobbery gob-smacked wet n' drippy n' perspiring beads of putrid moss-muck - soon full dark and just cans of flowery beer n' bike-bottles of sweet-wine to pass the time waiting for one warrior-poet-god-king or t'other to Put the Rope up there

 

to the new season and to the storms that will not settle until they have shit all they have to shat upon us!

 

1/21/14 - day 2 - my first solo lap of 2014 and the first maybe for me ever in the month dedicated to that dolorous diety, janus, the god of fortune n' gaudy expectations for the gaunt future - exam week for these ersatz earthlings, they don't seem to deem it of much import - quaint conversations with a curious few in my office hours, some felicitous graduates even stopped on by, delaying me w/o thought as the daylight ticked away and we dispensed w/ the troubled history of the Temple Mount

 

a savage head-wind on the drive in - not warp 9 mind you, but we've definitely made the jump to light-speed - the big bulk of the durango barely making head-way it seemed - the lot w/ two rides of climbers, and good-ole kenny one of them - i froze as i fumbled into my high-tech war-gear and spritned down the trail, croc-shod, just to stay warm - trees down all over the place - folks bailing down young warriors - kenny n' arent just casting off up the corner, all glistening dry n' clambery after last week's sodden adventure

 

climb 50 feet to a stance - thrust fingers against my bare belly to bring back the feeling, then 50 feet more - blasted through the distance w/ dispatch, eschewing uprising n' opting for the longer exit - both peregrines flapping n' screeching n' flyign off as i surprised them at the top by the pin, me deep under 3 layers of hat, head down and figuring what's the worst case scenario should they dive-bomb me?

 

happy, happy day - 1 month of winter dispensed with and more sun for a good long pull still predicted - half the school year done with and we head for the long downhill that bowls us merrily out into summer in the Big Ditch n' anything else mis amigos can propose for diversion

 

1/22 - day 3 - lap 2 of the new year - beacon all alone, nary a soul on the south side - solid grey gloom all day in camas but sunbreaks and inspirations on the drive in, cooled by camels n' a can of rolling rock - cold but much less wind than yesterday, the ranger flag barely flapping - an uneventful ascent n' an easy ramble on down, discoursing w/ a few tourists n' sopping up the views of the dappled river n' dim, setting sun

 

1/24 - day 4 - truly, a january hat-trick, such a stretch of weather so close to our tragic shut-down i can't recollect - warp 5 winds at cape horn, helm's a lee and shuddering at the next road-cut, truly wing n' a prayer conditions on the drive-in

 

kenny's ride in the lot, i crawl into my war-kit n' cast off, scudding down the trail w/ my top-masts unfurled, screeching down the thing before my tits freeze off - race up the corner in the hurricane wind, my hands down my pants every half-pitch, hand-job from a stranger it feels in the forceful breeze - my breath grabbed from my lungs before i can suck it in, panting

 

beers n' butts down by the boat-launch, fuckers passed out in the sweat-lodge again, rocked by the endless gales gusting over from the island - plans to make plans w/ adam n' kenny n' geoff for the what-have-you on hood soon hereafter

 

can this mad season manage to continue?

 

1/31 - day 5 - the dying day, beacon about to be banned and gone till the sun of summer grows high in the western sky - i dreamed that this stretch of winter-dry might linger, but it was not to last- rain all week, not a chance of a solo - friday the final desperate hope, the signs all set to be cemented into place - fuck off you unfeeling fumbling freak

 

no partner could i prepare - mike too molested - kenny contaminated - adam all a'hoo - so i drove out in the growing dusk, gunmetal gray all around, a fresh pack of poison n' a wondrous hip-flask of you-know-what - i lusted that i might arrive to an ecological aberration, a monstrous monolith undamaged by the falling damps of late; slut-dream i deemed, and damned so it turned out - the lot besodden n' me too it seemed - no courage at all to contend w/ the dripping cliffs - i settled instead for a romp up the retard trail, rope in tail

 

a pleasant rappel it shoulda been, but my belay device turned bitchy, and i tossed it into the trash-heap after - hurk n' jerk n' force-feed, the 'biner all besmirched w/ rope-shakings - a smoke n'a few-fingers on the ledge, then continued on down, the day dying and the golden globe breaking out in bold shafts of light at the last minute - finally at the base, in the dark, i trod along the way w/ bottle n' soaked in the scene so soon to be denied - up the trail at last, i found the preternatural phucks had already posted their signs closing the fucker down!

 

to summer, may it soon come!

 

2/22 - day 6 - calm n' chilly - snow in the trenches of the north side - busted burritoes - bad black-ass coffee - a ringing crescendo of a half-baked hangover - siege tactics - lawn chair - hammering - beer(s) n' satan smoke - red rover red rover - calm at the end of day

 

bryan hanging on the big-green-big-boi

drippy drippy drippy

crept back into the deeps of the glistening cave

 

3/8 - day viii - a pre-pour cascade chevauchee - mike, the jovian giant, rides the road to greet me there - weeds and whimperings - a gift of gods, road-smokes - the sodden trail so soon it climbs - waterfalls past whispering volumes - the cobble-stone cliffs a proper place to puff a butt n' down the dregs of harsh ales - rain upon the return to the road - vivian savaging the scofflaws

 

3/16 - 9th day - a sunday stolt - sad rain predicted, but not so grim it ended - geoff at camas right at the crack of nine, me awoke on the couch, gob-smacked, not a few minutes before - reborn in beer stench and debasement

 

went adventurneering - hiking up to the top, then scrambled down to big trees n' fixed a big long rope to a tree, rapped down, conquered n' crooned, then jugged back up - fun times - the big old log sent down 2 falls ago found all bound-up tight to a tree anchor - mental lines drone over dreary block-land

 

later did some adventure rapping down the west side, then clambered back up the alpine route to 3-tree ledge, finishing w/ a funky-sad rap for geoff back down to the ground

 

4/25-27 - days 10-12 - the long awaited hollabahoo - infernal plans pondered n proceeded upon even as mudder-earth pissed relentlessly all over them - friday mike, geoff n' i hike 6 ropes up to the summit, hop the railing, n' fix from there to the ground - bursts of sunshine here and there - the work quickly over and we head over, swingers-style, 3 of us in 3 cars to discover the whereabouts of the secret rebel base

 

a fine evenign drinking all kinds of things as the rain came and went - yer lebowski lebowski, etc, etc

 

saturday not so terrible at first w/ sun and scudding clouds - strangers assemble - the party grows by leaps and bounds - eventually a few of us head off to jug the lines - some wierd spots here and there and i nearly killed unknown tourists by kicking off a few good sized stones - at the summit i drank a beer than promptly damn-near broke my ankle by turning over on it while walking down the stairs and dodging the tourons - sigh...

 

saturday evening too epic to attempt description - dogs n' kids, raffels, ole'opdycke, speeches and salutations, the savage post-amniotic scene splayed out - rain builds upon rain, the beers go deeper and deeper, and soon the day rode out of me

 

sunday really quite nasty w/ wind and sheets of steel rain - a slow stumble-fuck back to the summit after breaking camp n' making our farewells - felt tempted to turn back from the recovery operation at the moment of truth but luckily geoff dissappeared over the edge and it was too late - not too tough to get it all back, thanks to help from geoff n' dave - strong weather once we hit earth, but then the weekend was over and it was time for wine n' school work n' hbo-fare

 

happy 70th old man

 

may day! #13 for the year (holy sheeit muslims, should i've known that, i'd a been a mit more skert!)

 

lovely wedder, wicked hawt for spring - crunchy moss - many tourons - birds bitching n' circling n' crying all over the place

 

hum along fellow travelers, hum along

 

Stand up, damned of the Earth

Stand up, prisoners of starvation

Reason thunders in its volcano

This is the eruption of the end.

Of the past let us make a clean slate

Enslaved masses, stand up, stand up.

The world is about to change its foundation

We are nothing, let us be all.

This is the final struggle

Let us group together, and tomorrow

The Internationale

Will be the human race.

 

5/7 - #14 - a rare may-day 24-hour wedder-window - bright sunshine n' light wind - the river runs full - lions abound, loll n' leap, embayed, the waves lap over them - damn near cock-blocked by bastard choo-choos way back at the dawn of day

 

5/12 - #15 - piercing sun, a soothing, steady breeze, and balmy skies - no time for cheap heroics, just an hour between bothersome obligations - a quick blitz and off i wandered - beautiful, sloe-eyed ladies on the trail, so very nice

 

5/14 - day sixteen - hell of an evening for a hike, the lot stale and empty near dusk - a bitter day of bickering w/ the man and waging holy jihad on behalf of my perplexed polity - all is fair in love n' hate, no?

 

5/15-6 - days 17-18 - awful bickering w/ vicious bastards across an itty-bitty table followed by lunar ambulations followed by a day of drooling, dumb-founded by dipshits, done at last with a pleasant stroll up a sunny trail into the soothing sky

 

5/20 - number 19 - after strong storms sunday, all is clear and bright and dryish and balmy - a billion boaters sucking up the salmon on the main channel, no doubt the source of the strong salmon stank in the bathroom - the n side in groovy, groovy conditions - peregrines pirouetting n' screeching piss off despite their confusion on which side exactly they have for their private privations - summer's breathe subsuming all

 

5/22 - day 20 - strange storms brewing, vexing vapors rise and seethe at the setting sun - a quick run up the well-worn trail and back for politics n' pissing matches before the working-man's day was even done - a mere month till the sweet solstice, then california dreams and soon that southern bitch will be blossomed-up n' street-legal once more?

 

6/4 - blackjaaaack! - choking, guttering, drowning in my own bile doing battle w/ these bilious bastards - no space to see, no air to breathe - jesus christ man, the weasels have built condos 'round this mother-fucker they've been camped out here so long. fled in horror in the middle of a meeting and slummed me way out, nipping on luke-warm stale keg-beer on the short cruise. a quick rattle on up, sleazy tourists in tattered tee's abiding everywhere. will it never be dawn?

 

D-Day, 70 years on - Day Double Dos for the Year - geoff rolls into the bk a tad late, all tricked out in his curvaceous corvette, me sucking down rapidly warming swill in the shade and puzzling over my biblical tome regarding the life n' times of that cornelius vanderbilt motherfucker

 

a true rare day, how often do you climb something new at beacon? last year i saw them old fellers working out their labor of love near the spike route and today was finally the day to give it a go - wow, what a wonderfully unusual bit of stone it saunters up - the second pitch the most slab-tacular out at beacon - amazingly crisp and clean rock w/ millions of microscopic curious cross-hatched horizontal lines that make smearing oh-so-sweet - geoff got that lead and suffered for it - i followed and couldn't figure out how not to cheat at one point in wierd pod, feet all askew and off-line

 

we rambled on up to the trail after a sesh at rancho relaxo - those upper pitches so super stupid it's a wonder i do them even once a year - oceans of oak, and me in shorts like i've not an iota of an idea what the fuck i'm at

 

3 days of damned seniors left to suffer through - the rock n' roll types clearing out the pipes and set-ready to start belting out "schooooooooooooool's ooooooooooout foooooor daa suuuuuuuuuummmmmmmer!!!!!!!"

 

6/11 - day 23 - mighty prime - another day of gentle ambulations, alcohol-adled, on the north side on sublime slab routes i'd not yet done - sailed out swiftly in the hms revenge w/ first mate swabbie silverman - fun n' games n' all that shit, up-down-n-all-around - allergy attacks for the lot of us n' shaping out to be a shitty season for the mozzies too ta boot - a sleepy drive home, my all slumber-stupid after awaking in the awful dawn to get the familias on that far-flying plane on back to the old dominion - 3 more work days till we say fukit to the welter-weight blues

 

7/14 - die XXIV - opening n' bastille day bitches, there's new baguette-muff on the field - rumors were of a rock wicked-hot, yet arrived mid-afternoon to cool temps n' pleasant breezes - shot up young warriors w/ geoff n' saw no sign of that kurious kev-bone feller, yet i was sure he'd have been up n' at it long afore we arrived - jim n' kenny did the corner about the same time and was glorious to see ole'jim giddup the route w/o a hitch despite his big what-have-you of a few months back - beers n' bullshiting at the ledge, not a fucking cigarette between the whole dirty lot of us - i felt so healthy and like a herpes-ridden cock-handler at the same time

 

7/15 - day 25 - 20 years ago this night i finally got into the good graces of the woman i've been w/ ever since

 

dodd's w/ a spot of wind-surf'n in the morn w/ ben n' his boy, then afternoon jill's w/ kenny after a head-swim'n sesh out at the no-bo-trifecta w/ smoky jim, a new stranger n' plenty wierd - kevbone thrown'n down on the warrior - american teenage spirit permeating through the day - the no-bo circle complete - wine n' ginned up neighbors - a plan for the morrow crafted and curved to fit the needs of a world on the crest of a true and beautiful wave

 

7/16 - #26 - last day alone for the summer - woke in fog and tempest in the mid-morning - sleep w/ dogs, wake w/ fleas, confirmed - wine n' breakfast n' tidying up - long pull to bonneville by 1 to fetch young kenneth - lightning ascent of warriors and good fun in the breeze n' shade - down just in time to sprint out to pdx to bring the magic home - gardening n' gabbing - pizza n' parlor tricks - mid-summer satisfaction

 

7/19-20 - days 27 n' 28 - saturday morning doldrums, drifting along on drink and dregs of home-chores - afternoon ambulations camas-ways - bday parties for little bitty peoples - robots and addled adult ramblings - felicitations to the family-folk and fumbled east-wards as evening set in - galloped through the gorge w/ gutfuls of pabst n' crawfuls of camels- emergency core-breach at st. clouds - beacon in the gloaming - geoff in the h.m.s. revenge - giddy-upped the good old corner, passing near a dozen dawdling just below the tip-top - 11 minutes trail to base, pouring sweat and huff-puffing like a wounded fuck

 

party at the no-bo moon-tower soon thereafter - 'skitters n' grill-fare - kids n' cosmo n' numerous curious-fucks - slide show n' half-hearted heckling (i should try harder ) - the evening wore on n' geoff left to Defend his Castle (flush w/ glory after getting hisself a new-gem that day) - Many Beers - the bridge well after midnight, brush and brambles at my half-shod heels - passed out hard near 2 a.m., my sleepign bag for a pillow yet somehow i was well within it by sunrise

 

sunday half-bright and broody - the auold-folks awake - a quick exit even as the weasels wiggle in - out to beaocn for a days-gone-by lap - jibber-jabber w/ jihad-joe as i suck down a pre-noon pabst - the Long Highway home - hashbrowns - helluva time to take a nap

 

7/25 - day 29 for 2014 - days of storm n' souse - good times w/ the kids in camp, hard rains, and little to do but fuck-all w/ the recently-returned wife (so to speak, literally not literally)

 

planned to climb w/ minnesota adam who i'd not seen since the garden of eden just outside the dynamite cave had been inundated w/ rain in rare days gone by - busted cars n' busted dreams that day, but a spectacular last minute save sucked the bitterness out of the expedition at least

 

tuesday we'd planned at first but morning after morning after morning of ruinous damps downshifted us to friday instead - all set to saunter off in mid-morning

 

i was a bit late meself to the bk-rendezvous after binging n' purging until late the night afore on norse horror-films, stale beer and basic astronomy textbooks - no white boy upon arrival, kewl - kinda thought maybe he'd just boomed out to beacon after i waited 30 minutes - bought some smokes just in case the cosmos had decreed this and went bounding out there w/ a wistful air about me when he still hadn't showed - nope, no early-riser waiting to regard me w/ edged, red eyes, so did a lap on the corner to see if maybe he wouldn't arrive eventually - got back down n' met that ole'boy rick in the lot and smoked all kinds of things, gesticulated wildy and talking-tall while him n' his kid started banging up cruising - this new feller george came gambolling along n' we ended up doing some good things - great guy that newborn-babe-in-the-woods - he got his first leads of crusing and free for all and crushed them

 

ended up w/ jimbo for a while - all your favorite conspiracies considered - goddamn muslims, moon-bases on mars, mormons sucking satan's cock, etc - parted ways as the shade came side-saddling over the south-side n' finished off the day w/ an overladen second solo lap - gallumped on back home well before the banishment of day to break bread w/ the little people and puzzle out this precious weekend before us

 

may summer never die

 

7/27 - XXX - 17th corner lap of the year so far - crawled down the gorge w/ the family crew to drop the little lady off at her girl scout camp - the way back we sauntered up the bacon-wand w/ dog n' friends, me breaking off to do a solo lap n' meet them up top - newbs looking awful lost at the base, casting off 30 feet right of crusing when they were looking for the corner - good times on the walk down and the long way back

8/6 - day 31 - hiroshima day, and only half as hot - not been climbing much of late after inexplicably mangling my shoulder while horsing around w/ the kids - gave it a test run w/ the great and powerful kenny on the mere corner - left some fine literature up on the ledge for all you fucking heathens to study on

[ivan]

1/15/14 - day 1 - what better way to mark mlk's berfday (and my inaugural beacon ascent of this foul year of our lord two-ought-fourteen) than to "climb to the mountain-top?"

 

the national wedder service promised portentous skies, a bold moon, a hero-ascent, but mike n' geoff n' i settled for much less - cloud murk on the evening drive - a shaft of bright sun at cope horn, than all gone, sucked down into a cloud vortex, a river of moist, cold air motoring on down to portland

 

the rock super slobbery gob-smacked wet n' drippy n' perspiring beads of putrid moss-muck - soon full dark and just cans of flowery beer n' bike-bottles of sweet-wine to pass the time waiting for one warrior-poet-god-king or t'other to Put the Rope up there

 

to the new season and to the storms that will not settle until they have shit all they have to shat upon us!

 

1/21/14 - day 2 - my first solo lap of 2014 and the first maybe for me ever in the month dedicated to that dolorous diety, janus, the god of fortune n' gaudy expectations for the gaunt future - exam week for these ersatz earthlings, they don't seem to deem it of much import - quaint conversations with a curious few in my office hours, some felicitous graduates even stopped on by, delaying me w/o thought as the daylight ticked away and we dispensed w/ the troubled history of the Temple Mount

 

a savage head-wind on the drive in - not warp 9 mind you, but we've definitely made the jump to light-speed - the big bulk of the durango barely making head-way it seemed - the lot w/ two rides of climbers, and good-ole kenny one of them - i froze as i fumbled into my high-tech war-gear and spritned down the trail, croc-shod, just to stay warm - trees down all over the place - folks bailing down young warriors - kenny n' arent just casting off up the corner, all glistening dry n' clambery after last week's sodden adventure

 

climb 50 feet to a stance - thrust fingers against my bare belly to bring back the feeling, then 50 feet more - blasted through the distance w/ dispatch, eschewing uprising n' opting for the longer exit - both peregrines flapping n' screeching n' flyign off as i surprised them at the top by the pin, me deep under 3 layers of hat, head down and figuring what's the worst case scenario should they dive-bomb me?

 

happy, happy day - 1 month of winter dispensed with and more sun for a good long pull still predicted - half the school year done with and we head for the long downhill that bowls us merrily out into summer in the Big Ditch n' anything else mis amigos can propose for diversion

 

1/22 - day 3 - lap 2 of the new year - beacon all alone, nary a soul on the south side - solid grey gloom all day in camas but sunbreaks and inspirations on the drive in, cooled by camels n' a can of rolling rock - cold but much less wind than yesterday, the ranger flag barely flapping - an uneventful ascent n' an easy ramble on down, discoursing w/ a few tourists n' sopping up the views of the dappled river n' dim, setting sun

 

1/24 - day 4 - truly, a january hat-trick, such a stretch of weather so close to our tragic shut-down i can't recollect - warp 5 winds at cape horn, helm's a lee and shuddering at the next road-cut, truly wing n' a prayer conditions on the drive-in

 

kenny's ride in the lot, i crawl into my war-kit n' cast off, scudding down the trail w/ my top-masts unfurled, screeching down the thing before my tits freeze off - race up the corner in the hurricane wind, my hands down my pants every half-pitch, hand-job from a stranger it feels in the forceful breeze - my breath grabbed from my lungs before i can suck it in, panting

 

beers n' butts down by the boat-launch, fuckers passed out in the sweat-lodge again, rocked by the endless gales gusting over from the island - plans to make plans w/ adam n' kenny n' geoff for the what-have-you on hood soon hereafter

 

can this mad season manage to continue?

 

1/31 - day 5 - the dying day, beacon about to be banned and gone till the sun of summer grows high in the western sky - i dreamed that this stretch of winter-dry might linger, but it was not to last- rain all week, not a chance of a solo - friday the final desperate hope, the signs all set to be cemented into place - fuck off you unfeeling fumbling freak

 

no partner could i prepare - mike too molested - kenny contaminated - adam all a'hoo - so i drove out in the growing dusk, gunmetal gray all around, a fresh pack of poison n' a wondrous hip-flask of you-know-what - i lusted that i might arrive to an ecological aberration, a monstrous monolith undamaged by the falling damps of late; slut-dream i deemed, and damned so it turned out - the lot besodden n' me too it seemed - no courage at all to contend w/ the dripping cliffs - i settled instead for a romp up the retard trail, rope in tail

 

a pleasant rappel it shoulda been, but my belay device turned bitchy, and i tossed it into the trash-heap after - hurk n' jerk n' force-feed, the 'biner all besmirched w/ rope-shakings - a smoke n'a few-fingers on the ledge, then continued on down, the day dying and the golden globe breaking out in bold shafts of light at the last minute - finally at the base, in the dark, i trod along the way w/ bottle n' soaked in the scene so soon to be denied - up the trail at last, i found the preternatural phucks had already posted their signs closing the fucker down!

 

to summer, may it soon come!

 

2/22 - day 6 - calm n' chilly - snow in the trenches of the north side - busted burritoes - bad black-ass coffee - a ringing crescendo of a half-baked hangover - siege tactics - lawn chair - hammering - beer(s) n' satan smoke - red rover red rover - calm at the end of day

 

bryan hanging on the big-green-big-boi

drippy drippy drippy

crept back into the deeps of the glistening cave

 

3/8 - day viii - a pre-pour cascade chevauchee - mike, the jovian giant, rides the road to greet me there - weeds and whimperings - a gift of gods, road-smokes - the sodden trail so soon it climbs - waterfalls past whispering volumes - the cobble-stone cliffs a proper place to puff a butt n' down the dregs of harsh ales - rain upon the return to the road - vivian savaging the scofflaws

 

3/16 - 9th day - a sunday stolt - sad rain predicted, but not so grim it ended - geoff at camas right at the crack of nine, me awoke on the couch, gob-smacked, not a few minutes before - reborn in beer stench and debasement

 

went adventurneering - hiking up to the top, then scrambled down to big trees n' fixed a big long rope to a tree, rapped down, conquered n' crooned, then jugged back up - fun times - the big old log sent down 2 falls ago found all bound-up tight to a tree anchor - mental lines drone over dreary block-land

 

later did some adventure rapping down the west side, then clambered back up the alpine route to 3-tree ledge, finishing w/ a funky-sad rap for geoff back down to the ground

 

4/25-27 - days 10-12 - the long awaited hollabahoo - infernal plans pondered n proceeded upon even as mudder-earth pissed relentlessly all over them - friday mike, geoff n' i hike 6 ropes up to the summit, hop the railing, n' fix from there to the ground - bursts of sunshine here and there - the work quickly over and we head over, swingers-style, 3 of us in 3 cars to discover the whereabouts of the secret rebel base

 

a fine evenign drinking all kinds of things as the rain came and went - yer lebowski lebowski, etc, etc

 

saturday not so terrible at first w/ sun and scudding clouds - strangers assemble - the party grows by leaps and bounds - eventually a few of us head off to jug the lines - some wierd spots here and there and i nearly killed unknown tourists by kicking off a few good sized stones - at the summit i drank a beer than promptly damn-near broke my ankle by turning over on it while walking down the stairs and dodging the tourons - sigh...

 

saturday evening too epic to attempt description - dogs n' kids, raffels, ole'opdycke, speeches and salutations, the savage post-amniotic scene splayed out - rain builds upon rain, the beers go deeper and deeper, and soon the day rode out of me

 

sunday really quite nasty w/ wind and sheets of steel rain - a slow stumble-fuck back to the summit after breaking camp n' making our farewells - felt tempted to turn back from the recovery operation at the moment of truth but luckily geoff dissappeared over the edge and it was too late - not too tough to get it all back, thanks to help from geoff n' dave - strong weather once we hit earth, but then the weekend was over and it was time for wine n' school work n' hbo-fare

 

happy 70th old man

 

may day! #13 for the year (holy sheeit muslims, should i've known that, i'd a been a mit more skert!)

 

lovely wedder, wicked hawt for spring - crunchy moss - many tourons - birds bitching n' circling n' crying all over the place

 

hum along fellow travelers, hum along

 

Stand up, damned of the Earth

Stand up, prisoners of starvation

Reason thunders in its volcano

This is the eruption of the end.

Of the past let us make a clean slate

Enslaved masses, stand up, stand up.

The world is about to change its foundation

We are nothing, let us be all.

This is the final struggle

Let us group together, and tomorrow

The Internationale

Will be the human race.

 

5/7 - #14 - a rare may-day 24-hour wedder-window - bright sunshine n' light wind - the river runs full - lions abound, loll n' leap, embayed, the waves lap over them - damn near cock-blocked by bastard choo-choos way back at the dawn of day

 

5/12 - #15 - piercing sun, a soothing, steady breeze, and balmy skies - no time for cheap heroics, just an hour between bothersome obligations - a quick blitz and off i wandered - beautiful, sloe-eyed ladies on the trail, so very nice

 

5/14 - day sixteen - hell of an evening for a hike, the lot stale and empty near dusk - a bitter day of bickering w/ the man and waging holy jihad on behalf of my perplexed polity - all is fair in love n' hate, no?

 

5/15-6 - days 17-18 - awful bickering w/ vicious bastards across an itty-bitty table followed by lunar ambulations followed by a day of drooling, dumb-founded by dipshits, done at last with a pleasant stroll up a sunny trail into the soothing sky

 

5/20 - number 19 - after strong storms sunday, all is clear and bright and dryish and balmy - a billion boaters sucking up the salmon on the main channel, no doubt the source of the strong salmon stank in the bathroom - the n side in groovy, groovy conditions - peregrines pirouetting n' screeching piss off despite their confusion on which side exactly they have for their private privations - summer's breathe subsuming all

 

5/22 - day 20 - strange storms brewing, vexing vapors rise and seethe at the setting sun - a quick run up the well-worn trail and back for politics n' pissing matches before the working-man's day was even done - a mere month till the sweet solstice, then california dreams and soon that southern bitch will be blossomed-up n' street-legal once more?

 

6/4 - blackjaaaack! - choking, guttering, drowning in my own bile doing battle w/ these bilious bastards - no space to see, no air to breathe - jesus christ man, the weasels have built condos 'round this mother-fucker they've been camped out here so long. fled in horror in the middle of a meeting and slummed me way out, nipping on luke-warm stale keg-beer on the short cruise. a quick rattle on up, sleazy tourists in tattered tee's abiding everywhere. will it never be dawn?

 

D-Day, 70 years on - Day Double Dos for the Year - geoff rolls into the bk a tad late, all tricked out in his curvaceous corvette, me sucking down rapidly warming swill in the shade and puzzling over my biblical tome regarding the life n' times of that cornelius vanderbilt motherfucker

 

a true rare day, how often do you climb something new at beacon? last year i saw them old fellers working out their labor of love near the spike route and today was finally the day to give it a go - wow, what a wonderfully unusual bit of stone it saunters up - the second pitch the most slab-tacular out at beacon - amazingly crisp and clean rock w/ millions of microscopic curious cross-hatched horizontal lines that make smearing oh-so-sweet - geoff got that lead and suffered for it - i followed and couldn't figure out how not to cheat at one point in wierd pod, feet all askew and off-line

 

we rambled on up to the trail after a sesh at rancho relaxo - those upper pitches so super stupid it's a wonder i do them even once a year - oceans of oak, and me in shorts like i've not an iota of an idea what the fuck i'm at

 

3 days of damned seniors left to suffer through - the rock n' roll types clearing out the pipes and set-ready to start belting out "schooooooooooooool's ooooooooooout foooooor daa suuuuuuuuuummmmmmmer!!!!!!!"

 

6/11 - day 23 - mighty prime - another day of gentle ambulations, alcohol-adled, on the north side on sublime slab routes i'd not yet done - sailed out swiftly in the hms revenge w/ first mate swabbie silverman - fun n' games n' all that shit, up-down-n-all-around - allergy attacks for the lot of us n' shaping out to be a shitty season for the mozzies too ta boot - a sleepy drive home, my all slumber-stupid after awaking in the awful dawn to get the familias on that far-flying plane on back to the old dominion - 3 more work days till we say fukit to the welter-weight blues

 

7/14 - die XXIV - opening n' bastille day bitches, there's new baguette-muff on the field - rumors were of a rock wicked-hot, yet arrived mid-afternoon to cool temps n' pleasant breezes - shot up young warriors w/ geoff n' saw no sign of that kurious kev-bone feller, yet i was sure he'd have been up n' at it long afore we arrived - jim n' kenny did the corner about the same time and was glorious to see ole'jim giddup the route w/o a hitch despite his big what-have-you of a few months back - beers n' bullshiting at the ledge, not a fucking cigarette between the whole dirty lot of us - i felt so healthy and like a herpes-ridden cock-handler at the same time

 

7/15 - day 25 - 20 years ago this night i finally got into the good graces of the woman i've been w/ ever since

 

dodd's w/ a spot of wind-surf'n in the morn w/ ben n' his boy, then afternoon jill's w/ kenny after a head-swim'n sesh out at the no-bo-trifecta w/ smoky jim, a new stranger n' plenty wierd - kevbone thrown'n down on the warrior - american teenage spirit permeating through the day - the no-bo circle complete - wine n' ginned up neighbors - a plan for the morrow crafted and curved to fit the needs of a world on the crest of a true and beautiful wave

 

7/16 - #26 - last day alone for the summer - woke in fog and tempest in the mid-morning - sleep w/ dogs, wake w/ fleas, confirmed - wine n' breakfast n' tidying up - long pull to bonneville by 1 to fetch young kenneth - lightning ascent of warriors and good fun in the breeze n' shade - down just in time to sprint out to pdx to bring the magic home - gardening n' gabbing - pizza n' parlor tricks - mid-summer satisfaction

 

7/19-20 - days 27 n' 28 - saturday morning doldrums, drifting along on drink and dregs of home-chores - afternoon ambulations camas-ways - bday parties for little bitty peoples - robots and addled adult ramblings - felicitations to the family-folk and fumbled east-wards as evening set in - galloped through the gorge w/ gutfuls of pabst n' crawfuls of camels- emergency core-breach at st. clouds - beacon in the gloaming - geoff in the h.m.s. revenge - giddy-upped the good old corner, passing near a dozen dawdling just below the tip-top - 11 minutes trail to base, pouring sweat and huff-puffing like a wounded fuck

 

party at the no-bo moon-tower soon thereafter - 'skitters n' grill-fare - kids n' cosmo n' numerous curious-fucks - slide show n' half-hearted heckling (i should try harder ) - the evening wore on n' geoff left to Defend his Castle (flush w/ glory after getting hisself a new-gem that day) - Many Beers - the bridge well after midnight, brush and brambles at my half-shod heels - passed out hard near 2 a.m., my sleepign bag for a pillow yet somehow i was well within it by sunrise

 

sunday half-bright and broody - the auold-folks awake - a quick exit even as the weasels wiggle in - out to beaocn for a days-gone-by lap - jibber-jabber w/ jihad-joe as i suck down a pre-noon pabst - the Long Highway home - hashbrowns - helluva time to take a nap

 

7/25 - day 29 for 2014 - days of storm n' souse - good times w/ the kids in camp, hard rains, and little to do but fuck-all w/ the recently-returned wife (so to speak, literally not literally)

 

planned to climb w/ minnesota adam who i'd not seen since the garden of eden just outside the dynamite cave had been inundated w/ rain in rare days gone by - busted cars n' busted dreams that day, but a spectacular last minute save sucked the bitterness out of the expedition at least

 

tuesday we'd planned at first but morning after morning after morning of ruinous damps downshifted us to friday instead - all set to saunter off in mid-morning

 

i was a bit late meself to the bk-rendezvous after binging n' purging until late the night afore on norse horror-films, stale beer and basic astronomy textbooks - no white boy upon arrival, kewl - kinda thought maybe he'd just boomed out to beacon after i waited 30 minutes - bought some smokes just in case the cosmos had decreed this and went bounding out there w/ a wistful air about me when he still hadn't showed - nope, no early-riser waiting to regard me w/ edged, red eyes, so did a lap on the corner to see if maybe he wouldn't arrive eventually - got back down n' met that ole'boy rick in the lot and smoked all kinds of things, gesticulated wildy and talking-tall while him n' his kid started banging up cruising - this new feller george came gambolling along n' we ended up doing some good things - great guy that newborn-babe-in-the-woods - he got his first leads of crusing and free for all and crushed them

 

ended up w/ jimbo for a while - all your favorite conspiracies considered - goddamn muslims, moon-bases on mars, mormons sucking satan's cock, etc - parted ways as the shade came side-saddling over the south-side n' finished off the day w/ an overladen second solo lap - gallumped on back home well before the banishment of day to break bread w/ the little people and puzzle out this precious weekend before us

 

may summer never die

 

7/27 - XXX - 17th corner lap of the year so far - crawled down the gorge w/ the family crew to drop the little lady off at her girl scout camp - the way back we sauntered up the bacon-wand w/ dog n' friends, me breaking off to do a solo lap n' meet them up top - newbs looking awful lost at the base, casting off 30 feet right of crusing when they were looking for the corner - good times on the walk down and the long way back

 

8/6 - day 31 - hiroshima day, and only half as hot - not been climbing much of late after inexplicably mangling my shoulder while horsing around w/ the kids - gave it a test run w/ the great and powerful kenny on the mere corner - left some fine literature up on the ledge for all you fucking heathens to study on

8/8 - #32 - took ole'calen out for his first climb and he did well on rhythm method n' the 1st pitch of the corner - most memorable event of the day, a long train heading east carrying a huge cargo of what smelled like festering fetuses - holy shit, the market in dead hookers must be booming in montana

[powderhound]

Haha

[ivan]

1/15/14 - day 1 - what better way to mark mlk's berfday (and my inaugural beacon ascent of this foul year of our lord two-ought-fourteen) than to "climb to the mountain-top?"

 

the national wedder service promised portentous skies, a bold moon, a hero-ascent, but mike n' geoff n' i settled for much less - cloud murk on the evening drive - a shaft of bright sun at cope horn, than all gone, sucked down into a cloud vortex, a river of moist, cold air motoring on down to portland

 

the rock super slobbery gob-smacked wet n' drippy n' perspiring beads of putrid moss-muck - soon full dark and just cans of flowery beer n' bike-bottles of sweet-wine to pass the time waiting for one warrior-poet-god-king or t'other to Put the Rope up there

 

to the new season and to the storms that will not settle until they have shit all they have to shat upon us!

 

1/21/14 - day 2 - my first solo lap of 2014 and the first maybe for me ever in the month dedicated to that dolorous diety, janus, the god of fortune n' gaudy expectations for the gaunt future - exam week for these ersatz earthlings, they don't seem to deem it of much import - quaint conversations with a curious few in my office hours, some felicitous graduates even stopped on by, delaying me w/o thought as the daylight ticked away and we dispensed w/ the troubled history of the Temple Mount

 

a savage head-wind on the drive in - not warp 9 mind you, but we've definitely made the jump to light-speed - the big bulk of the durango barely making head-way it seemed - the lot w/ two rides of climbers, and good-ole kenny one of them - i froze as i fumbled into my high-tech war-gear and spritned down the trail, croc-shod, just to stay warm - trees down all over the place - folks bailing down young warriors - kenny n' arent just casting off up the corner, all glistening dry n' clambery after last week's sodden adventure

 

climb 50 feet to a stance - thrust fingers against my bare belly to bring back the feeling, then 50 feet more - blasted through the distance w/ dispatch, eschewing uprising n' opting for the longer exit - both peregrines flapping n' screeching n' flyign off as i surprised them at the top by the pin, me deep under 3 layers of hat, head down and figuring what's the worst case scenario should they dive-bomb me?

 

happy, happy day - 1 month of winter dispensed with and more sun for a good long pull still predicted - half the school year done with and we head for the long downhill that bowls us merrily out into summer in the Big Ditch n' anything else mis amigos can propose for diversion

 

1/22 - day 3 - lap 2 of the new year - beacon all alone, nary a soul on the south side - solid grey gloom all day in camas but sunbreaks and inspirations on the drive in, cooled by camels n' a can of rolling rock - cold but much less wind than yesterday, the ranger flag barely flapping - an uneventful ascent n' an easy ramble on down, discoursing w/ a few tourists n' sopping up the views of the dappled river n' dim, setting sun

 

1/24 - day 4 - truly, a january hat-trick, such a stretch of weather so close to our tragic shut-down i can't recollect - warp 5 winds at cape horn, helm's a lee and shuddering at the next road-cut, truly wing n' a prayer conditions on the drive-in

 

kenny's ride in the lot, i crawl into my war-kit n' cast off, scudding down the trail w/ my top-masts unfurled, screeching down the thing before my tits freeze off - race up the corner in the hurricane wind, my hands down my pants every half-pitch, hand-job from a stranger it feels in the forceful breeze - my breath grabbed from my lungs before i can suck it in, panting

 

beers n' butts down by the boat-launch, fuckers passed out in the sweat-lodge again, rocked by the endless gales gusting over from the island - plans to make plans w/ adam n' kenny n' geoff for the what-have-you on hood soon hereafter

 

can this mad season manage to continue?

 

1/31 - day 5 - the dying day, beacon about to be banned and gone till the sun of summer grows high in the western sky - i dreamed that this stretch of winter-dry might linger, but it was not to last- rain all week, not a chance of a solo - friday the final desperate hope, the signs all set to be cemented into place - fuck off you unfeeling fumbling freak

 

no partner could i prepare - mike too molested - kenny contaminated - adam all a'hoo - so i drove out in the growing dusk, gunmetal gray all around, a fresh pack of poison n' a wondrous hip-flask of you-know-what - i lusted that i might arrive to an ecological aberration, a monstrous monolith undamaged by the falling damps of late; slut-dream i deemed, and damned so it turned out - the lot besodden n' me too it seemed - no courage at all to contend w/ the dripping cliffs - i settled instead for a romp up the retard trail, rope in tail

 

a pleasant rappel it shoulda been, but my belay device turned bitchy, and i tossed it into the trash-heap after - hurk n' jerk n' force-feed, the 'biner all besmirched w/ rope-shakings - a smoke n'a few-fingers on the ledge, then continued on down, the day dying and the golden globe breaking out in bold shafts of light at the last minute - finally at the base, in the dark, i trod along the way w/ bottle n' soaked in the scene so soon to be denied - up the trail at last, i found the preternatural phucks had already posted their signs closing the fucker down!

 

to summer, may it soon come!

 

2/22 - day 6 - calm n' chilly - snow in the trenches of the north side - busted burritoes - bad black-ass coffee - a ringing crescendo of a half-baked hangover - siege tactics - lawn chair - hammering - beer(s) n' satan smoke - red rover red rover - calm at the end of day

 

bryan hanging on the big-green-big-boi

drippy drippy drippy

crept back into the deeps of the glistening cave

 

3/8 - day viii - a pre-pour cascade chevauchee - mike, the jovian giant, rides the road to greet me there - weeds and whimperings - a gift of gods, road-smokes - the sodden trail so soon it climbs - waterfalls past whispering volumes - the cobble-stone cliffs a proper place to puff a butt n' down the dregs of harsh ales - rain upon the return to the road - vivian savaging the scofflaws

 

3/16 - 9th day - a sunday stolt - sad rain predicted, but not so grim it ended - geoff at camas right at the crack of nine, me awoke on the couch, gob-smacked, not a few minutes before - reborn in beer stench and debasement

 

went adventurneering - hiking up to the top, then scrambled down to big trees n' fixed a big long rope to a tree, rapped down, conquered n' crooned, then jugged back up - fun times - the big old log sent down 2 falls ago found all bound-up tight to a tree anchor - mental lines drone over dreary block-land

 

later did some adventure rapping down the west side, then clambered back up the alpine route to 3-tree ledge, finishing w/ a funky-sad rap for geoff back down to the ground

 

4/25-27 - days 10-12 - the long awaited hollabahoo - infernal plans pondered n proceeded upon even as mudder-earth pissed relentlessly all over them - friday mike, geoff n' i hike 6 ropes up to the summit, hop the railing, n' fix from there to the ground - bursts of sunshine here and there - the work quickly over and we head over, swingers-style, 3 of us in 3 cars to discover the whereabouts of the secret rebel base

 

a fine evenign drinking all kinds of things as the rain came and went - yer lebowski lebowski, etc, etc

 

saturday not so terrible at first w/ sun and scudding clouds - strangers assemble - the party grows by leaps and bounds - eventually a few of us head off to jug the lines - some wierd spots here and there and i nearly killed unknown tourists by kicking off a few good sized stones - at the summit i drank a beer than promptly damn-near broke my ankle by turning over on it while walking down the stairs and dodging the tourons - sigh...

 

saturday evening too epic to attempt description - dogs n' kids, raffels, ole'opdycke, speeches and salutations, the savage post-amniotic scene splayed out - rain builds upon rain, the beers go deeper and deeper, and soon the day rode out of me

 

sunday really quite nasty w/ wind and sheets of steel rain - a slow stumble-fuck back to the summit after breaking camp n' making our farewells - felt tempted to turn back from the recovery operation at the moment of truth but luckily geoff dissappeared over the edge and it was too late - not too tough to get it all back, thanks to help from geoff n' dave - strong weather once we hit earth, but then the weekend was over and it was time for wine n' school work n' hbo-fare

 

happy 70th old man

 

may day! #13 for the year (holy sheeit muslims, should i've known that, i'd a been a mit more skert!)

 

lovely wedder, wicked hawt for spring - crunchy moss - many tourons - birds bitching n' circling n' crying all over the place

 

hum along fellow travelers, hum along

 

Stand up, damned of the Earth

Stand up, prisoners of starvation

Reason thunders in its volcano

This is the eruption of the end.

Of the past let us make a clean slate

Enslaved masses, stand up, stand up.

The world is about to change its foundation

We are nothing, let us be all.

This is the final struggle

Let us group together, and tomorrow

The Internationale

Will be the human race.

 

5/7 - #14 - a rare may-day 24-hour wedder-window - bright sunshine n' light wind - the river runs full - lions abound, loll n' leap, embayed, the waves lap over them - damn near cock-blocked by bastard choo-choos way back at the dawn of day

 

5/12 - #15 - piercing sun, a soothing, steady breeze, and balmy skies - no time for cheap heroics, just an hour between bothersome obligations - a quick blitz and off i wandered - beautiful, sloe-eyed ladies on the trail, so very nice

 

5/14 - day sixteen - hell of an evening for a hike, the lot stale and empty near dusk - a bitter day of bickering w/ the man and waging holy jihad on behalf of my perplexed polity - all is fair in love n' hate, no?

 

5/15-6 - days 17-18 - awful bickering w/ vicious bastards across an itty-bitty table followed by lunar ambulations followed by a day of drooling, dumb-founded by dipshits, done at last with a pleasant stroll up a sunny trail into the soothing sky

 

5/20 - number 19 - after strong storms sunday, all is clear and bright and dryish and balmy - a billion boaters sucking up the salmon on the main channel, no doubt the source of the strong salmon stank in the bathroom - the n side in groovy, groovy conditions - peregrines pirouetting n' screeching piss off despite their confusion on which side exactly they have for their private privations - summer's breathe subsuming all

 

5/22 - day 20 - strange storms brewing, vexing vapors rise and seethe at the setting sun - a quick run up the well-worn trail and back for politics n' pissing matches before the working-man's day was even done - a mere month till the sweet solstice, then california dreams and soon that southern bitch will be blossomed-up n' street-legal once more?

 

6/4 - blackjaaaack! - choking, guttering, drowning in my own bile doing battle w/ these bilious bastards - no space to see, no air to breathe - jesus christ man, the weasels have built condos 'round this mother-fucker they've been camped out here so long. fled in horror in the middle of a meeting and slummed me way out, nipping on luke-warm stale keg-beer on the short cruise. a quick rattle on up, sleazy tourists in tattered tee's abiding everywhere. will it never be dawn?

 

D-Day, 70 years on - Day Double Dos for the Year - geoff rolls into the bk a tad late, all tricked out in his curvaceous corvette, me sucking down rapidly warming swill in the shade and puzzling over my biblical tome regarding the life n' times of that cornelius vanderbilt motherfucker

 

a true rare day, how often do you climb something new at beacon? last year i saw them old fellers working out their labor of love near the spike route and today was finally the day to give it a go - wow, what a wonderfully unusual bit of stone it saunters up - the second pitch the most slab-tacular out at beacon - amazingly crisp and clean rock w/ millions of microscopic curious cross-hatched horizontal lines that make smearing oh-so-sweet - geoff got that lead and suffered for it - i followed and couldn't figure out how not to cheat at one point in wierd pod, feet all askew and off-line

 

we rambled on up to the trail after a sesh at rancho relaxo - those upper pitches so super stupid it's a wonder i do them even once a year - oceans of oak, and me in shorts like i've not an iota of an idea what the fuck i'm at

 

3 days of damned seniors left to suffer through - the rock n' roll types clearing out the pipes and set-ready to start belting out "schooooooooooooool's ooooooooooout foooooor daa suuuuuuuuuummmmmmmer!!!!!!!"

 

6/11 - day 23 - mighty prime - another day of gentle ambulations, alcohol-adled, on the north side on sublime slab routes i'd not yet done - sailed out swiftly in the hms revenge w/ first mate swabbie silverman - fun n' games n' all that shit, up-down-n-all-around - allergy attacks for the lot of us n' shaping out to be a shitty season for the mozzies too ta boot - a sleepy drive home, my all slumber-stupid after awaking in the awful dawn to get the familias on that far-flying plane on back to the old dominion - 3 more work days till we say fukit to the welter-weight blues

 

7/14 - die XXIV - opening n' bastille day bitches, there's new baguette-muff on the field - rumors were of a rock wicked-hot, yet arrived mid-afternoon to cool temps n' pleasant breezes - shot up young warriors w/ geoff n' saw no sign of that kurious kev-bone feller, yet i was sure he'd have been up n' at it long afore we arrived - jim n' kenny did the corner about the same time and was glorious to see ole'jim giddup the route w/o a hitch despite his big what-have-you of a few months back - beers n' bullshiting at the ledge, not a fucking cigarette between the whole dirty lot of us - i felt so healthy and like a herpes-ridden cock-handler at the same time

 

7/15 - day 25 - 20 years ago this night i finally got into the good graces of the woman i've been w/ ever since

 

dodd's w/ a spot of wind-surf'n in the morn w/ ben n' his boy, then afternoon jill's w/ kenny after a head-swim'n sesh out at the no-bo-trifecta w/ smoky jim, a new stranger n' plenty wierd - kevbone thrown'n down on the warrior - american teenage spirit permeating through the day - the no-bo circle complete - wine n' ginned up neighbors - a plan for the morrow crafted and curved to fit the needs of a world on the crest of a true and beautiful wave

 

7/16 - #26 - last day alone for the summer - woke in fog and tempest in the mid-morning - sleep w/ dogs, wake w/ fleas, confirmed - wine n' breakfast n' tidying up - long pull to bonneville by 1 to fetch young kenneth - lightning ascent of warriors and good fun in the breeze n' shade - down just in time to sprint out to pdx to bring the magic home - gardening n' gabbing - pizza n' parlor tricks - mid-summer satisfaction

 

7/19-20 - days 27 n' 28 - saturday morning doldrums, drifting along on drink and dregs of home-chores - afternoon ambulations camas-ways - bday parties for little bitty peoples - robots and addled adult ramblings - felicitations to the family-folk and fumbled east-wards as evening set in - galloped through the gorge w/ gutfuls of pabst n' crawfuls of camels- emergency core-breach at st. clouds - beacon in the gloaming - geoff in the h.m.s. revenge - giddy-upped the good old corner, passing near a dozen dawdling just below the tip-top - 11 minutes trail to base, pouring sweat and huff-puffing like a wounded fuck

 

party at the no-bo moon-tower soon thereafter - 'skitters n' grill-fare - kids n' cosmo n' numerous curious-fucks - slide show n' half-hearted heckling (i should try harder ) - the evening wore on n' geoff left to Defend his Castle (flush w/ glory after getting hisself a new-gem that day) - Many Beers - the bridge well after midnight, brush and brambles at my half-shod heels - passed out hard near 2 a.m., my sleepign bag for a pillow yet somehow i was well within it by sunrise

 

sunday half-bright and broody - the auold-folks awake - a quick exit even as the weasels wiggle in - out to beaocn for a days-gone-by lap - jibber-jabber w/ jihad-joe as i suck down a pre-noon pabst - the Long Highway home - hashbrowns - helluva time to take a nap

 

7/25 - day 29 for 2014 - days of storm n' souse - good times w/ the kids in camp, hard rains, and little to do but fuck-all w/ the recently-returned wife (so to speak, literally not literally)

 

planned to climb w/ minnesota adam who i'd not seen since the garden of eden just outside the dynamite cave had been inundated w/ rain in rare days gone by - busted cars n' busted dreams that day, but a spectacular last minute save sucked the bitterness out of the expedition at least

 

tuesday we'd planned at first but morning after morning after morning of ruinous damps downshifted us to friday instead - all set to saunter off in mid-morning

 

i was a bit late meself to the bk-rendezvous after binging n' purging until late the night afore on norse horror-films, stale beer and basic astronomy textbooks - no white boy upon arrival, kewl - kinda thought maybe he'd just boomed out to beacon after i waited 30 minutes - bought some smokes just in case the cosmos had decreed this and went bounding out there w/ a wistful air about me when he still hadn't showed - nope, no early-riser waiting to regard me w/ edged, red eyes, so did a lap on the corner to see if maybe he wouldn't arrive eventually - got back down n' met that ole'boy rick in the lot and smoked all kinds of things, gesticulated wildy and talking-tall while him n' his kid started banging up cruising - this new feller george came gambolling along n' we ended up doing some good things - great guy that newborn-babe-in-the-woods - he got his first leads of crusing and free for all and crushed them

 

ended up w/ jimbo for a while - all your favorite conspiracies considered - goddamn muslims, moon-bases on mars, mormons sucking satan's cock, etc - parted ways as the shade came side-saddling over the south-side n' finished off the day w/ an overladen second solo lap - gallumped on back home well before the banishment of day to break bread w/ the little people and puzzle out this precious weekend before us

 

may summer never die

 

7/27 - XXX - 17th corner lap of the year so far - crawled down the gorge w/ the family crew to drop the little lady off at her girl scout camp - the way back we sauntered up the bacon-wand w/ dog n' friends, me breaking off to do a solo lap n' meet them up top - newbs looking awful lost at the base, casting off 30 feet right of crusing when they were looking for the corner - good times on the walk down and the long way back

 

8/6 - day 31 - hiroshima day, and only half as hot - not been climbing much of late after inexplicably mangling my shoulder while horsing around w/ the kids - gave it a test run w/ the great and powerful kenny on the mere corner - left some fine literature up on the ledge for all you fucking heathens to study on

 

8/8 - #32 - took ole'calen out for his first climb and he did well on rhythm method n' the 1st pitch of the corner - most memorable event of the day, a long train heading east carrying a huge cargo of what smelled like festering fetuses - holy shit, the market in dead hookers must be booming in montana

8/9 - 69 years after nagasaki got kicked square in the nuts - 33rd beacon excursion for the year - a midnight full moonlight ascent w/ ze phuzzy - frogs n' bats n' owls dominate the deadly-still air - heavily laden w/ homebrew and commercial swill we sashayed our way up in the elven-ambiance, bullshitting n' bantering on a billion topics so long the dawn began dragging it's ass into the eastern-wings of the amber sky as we reached the trail - amazing drive home w/ the ocher-orb huge and low in the west, casting conflicting shadows it seemed in its bitter battle w/ big brother

[christophbenells]

I found a rope and a helmet at the rock this morning. Looks like someone forgot it there yesterday...

 

Anyone know the rightful owner?

[ivan]

did you pick it up or leave it be? i'm sure whoever put it there will be back.

[christophbenells]

i picked it up, took me a while to decide whether that was a good choice or bad. it sat there in the parking lot overnight on saturday night...

 

anyway, i've found the owner and will be getting it back to him.

 

 

[stevetimetravlr]

It was a good choice to pick them up. Thank you Christopher.

I was supposed to climb with Rick. He was sitting there in the parking lot 5 hours late. Decides he's to tired to climb and jumps in his rig and leaves. That's gonna leave a mark. Which left me forgetting I had the rope and helmet setting out.

[pink]

It was a good choice to pick them up. Thank you Christopher.

I was supposed to climb with Rick. He was sitting there in the parking lot 5 hours late. Decides he's to tired to climb and jumps in his rig and leaves. That's gonna leave a mark. Which left me forgetting I had the rope and helmet setting out.

 

 

[kevbone]

Great seeing you steve and rick on sat.

[stevetimetravlr]

Rad to be looking down on Kevbone floating the 4th pitch of Warriors. You placed gear in different places then I do at times, very interesting.

[brionifitch]

Would love some crispy bacon tomorrow... has this thunderstorm hit with any intensity?

 

[crimper]

At Beacon yesterday i looked at Sufficiently Breathless. (I'm referencing my earlier comments about how good the pins on this route are or aren't, and whether they should be replaced) The route is heavily vegetated and by all appearances has not been climbed despite a full month of Beacon season.

 

So, after all my complaining about the 2 pins, maybe none of you would be climbing it even if it had two bolts, because nobody is climbing it anyway? And if it has been climbed this year, maybe next time try and do some cleaning on the way down to get this great climb back in the rotation. Winter Delight also looked pretty lonely. Spring Fever, too. Why do those great climbs get neglected?

 

PS - I led Blownout direct and guess what, I didn't like clipping 3 pins (and a manky fixed alien) in a row! I guess it's me who has an issue with pins. When I was younger I pretended they were bolts but as I age and hear more stories about pins I no longer have great confidence on them...my issue, not yours...

[brionifitch]

I did make it out Wednesday, rock was completely dry (don't know why I was worried about the rain). We did Jill's Thrill and I clipped those two fixed pins thinking 'free pro!'. My rudimentary test found them solid so I trusted, but I can't deny that there have been many stories of 'solid' pins blowing too so who's to say... I think if that is what was protecting a crux it would be different.

[JosephH]

The lower and upper Jill's pins were replaced in late 2007. The original lower one was a short, thin Italian knifeblade which was split lengthwise the day it was placed. The pins currently on Jill's are bomb as are the pins on Blownout direct (the fixed alien could definitely stand to be cleaned though). Ditto Fear of Flying.

 

Both bolts were bad on 54 anchors out of the 74 I replaced, I also checked virtually every pin on the south face and either reset or replaced any that weren't bomb and Ivan basically dealt with the outliers above the Arena of Terror.

 

If you want to worry about something, worry about the five piece protection bolts placed in the 90's, as they were by far the absolute worst of the lot in the anchors. On the whole, the pins at Beacon way, way outperformed the bolts and I generally trust them a hell of a lot more than the old bolts.

[pink]

 

Well poison squirrels, this is the last cc.com post I'll be making.

 

You've finally convinced me you don't value early opens so I'll be ceasing monitoring the Peregrines and trying to coordinate any more early opens. I do have to admit to being utterly baffled as to your choices - like deciding you'd rather focus on deliberately breaking the closure in order to insure the park's phone message is right instead of having a full-moon party on the ledge Saturday night because that's exactly what this latest moronic three stooges stunt cost you.

 

But hey, these are your choices - so be it and cool. But let's be excruciatingly clear here given I'm out of here, your actions of the past three years are directly responsible for, and have insured, the closure will stand, unaltered, for years to come. In fact, if you're smart you won't even say the word 'closure' again until about 2020 or so. You especially shouldn't make the mistake of saying word one about it in your little movie - that would be a colossal fuckup (hint, guess how many Mazama and AAC members are [i know, reprehensibly] also Audubon members?).

 

Unbelievable really, that you claim to want to lift or amend the closure, but then proceed to vilify and act adversarially and in continual bad faith with the very "cops" and "whores" who are the ONLY people who could make that happen. And guess what? There is no amount of outrage, public campaigning, scientific guns-for-hire, facebook postings, or wailing which can force those individuals to make the changes you want. NONE, NADA, ZERO. The ONLY hope you had was establishing long-term good faith, trusted, mutually-respected working relationships with them in the hope over time you'd be able to work out a trial run at modifications and then pray none of you fucked it up.

 

But you guys have made it way more than clear you aren't having any of it and that the "cops" and "whores" who manage the park can go fuck themselves - cool, but the only ones who keep getting fucked with that approach, that resentment and that spite is you. Brilliant!!! All I can guess is the closure whining you've raised to a high art form just feels so good at this point you can't live without it.

 

So I'm out - out of cc.com, out of monitoring, out of coordinating early opens with the agencies, and hopefully out of earshot of the years of Feb 1st whining to come. I'm perfectly happy with my climbing alternatives during the closure and looking forward to getting out to Beacon. Which brings up a final comment. You guys really have no idea what I'm about, but let's put it this way, if I have less than a cordial time out there, or if I run into any more uncivil actions like the four times my DZ rap line has been cut (the last time below edge where it couldn't be seen) then we are all - myself included - going share in some seriously profound remorse. My advice, make your decisions wisely and leash your dogs as I'll be around, but beyond this post you'll never hear the word 'closure' from me again.

 

See ya...

 

 

PROMISES PROMISES…. SIGH!!!!

Edited August 16, 2014 by pink