dealing with SOs

[forrest_m]

so here's a conversation starter... what's do you guys/gals do about reassuring worried significant others? when i first started climbing as a teenager, i used to assure my mom that climbing was "perfectly safe." now, i try to be more honest with my wife, you know "well, it is dangerous, but we do everything we can to make it safer", but sometimes i can tell she'd rather have me tell her that it was safe as golf. i also have come to an agreement that she is not supposed to worry until noon on the day after we are due back. any thoughts?

[Dru]

"statistically, climbing is safer than driving to the climb", especially driving to Squamish up Hwy 99 vs. Squamish climbing.

[Yossarian]

Those statistics seem to be a little skewed, but if they ease the concern of others, go for it.

[erik]

Subject: Risks of Rock Climbing

Since the subject of relative risks in climbing has come up, I thought

these numbers might be of interest:

Involuntary Risks: Risk of death/person-year

-------------------------------------------------------------

Struck by automobile (USA) 1 in 20,000

Struck by automobile (UK) 1 in 16,600

Lightning (UK) 1 in 10 million

Influenza 1 in 5000

Voluntary Risks: Deaths/person-year (odds)

-------------------------------------------------------------

Smoking, 20 cigs/day 1 in 200

Motorcycling 1 in 50

Automobile driving 1 in 5,900

Rock climbing 1 in 7,150

Skiing 1 in 1,430,000

Canoeing 1 in 100,000

Pregnancy (UK) 1 in 4,350

So, overall rock-climbing is less likely to kill you than being

pregnant! And apparently one is more likely to die of influenza than

from rock-climbing. It also appears to be the case that in the UK

driving an automobile is more risky than rock-climbing overall.

The source for this information is Dinman B.D. The Reality and

Acceptance of Risk. JAMA 244:1226. 1980.

 

[mattp]

I have a fiancee who is prone to worrying even when I'm late coming home from work, but somehow she seems to be able to accept my climbing addiction (that's one of the reasons I'm marrying her-she's an enabler). She knows enough that I can't very often get away with telling her that it is perfectly safe, unless perhaps I'm going to Exit 38, so I don't try that anymore. She asks a lot of questions when I'm headed for a mountain climb and she believes that mixed climbing is probably the most dangerous thing I do (she may be right, though backcountry skiiing on a good day is often not very safe, either), and she'll worry no matter what I say. Still, she wants to know where I'm headed and with whom. Like you, I explain that on any mountain outing I could easily get stuck for an extra night without anything having gone very far wrong, so she should try not to worry too much and certainly should not call the calvary until noon or whatever the following day (later if it is a long hike in and out). As often as I can, I try to express my appreciation for her tolerance.

[philfort]

People in the UK have a one in fifty chance of dying each year if they ride a motorcycle?

That sounds a bit weird.

[Dru]

Must be all those fucking mods on their scooters...

Squamish - still only one actual "climbing" death in 42 years, although there have been some hiking deaths and some serious climbing injuries.

Squamish Highway - at least one accident a week, fatalities are about 33% of those accidents. ( i just made that number up!!!)

Lots more person days of driving that highway than climbing though.

[forrest_m]

i've heard that "most dangerous part of a climb is the drive" statistic since i started climbing (i've used it to reassure people, too), but i'm pretty suspicious of it now. i mean, what are we comparing here? total hours of each activity? climber/days vs. driver days? rock climbing, ice climbing, alpine climbing, top roping, kids rappelling with clothesline, what? the example of the squamish road just emphasizes this: obviously it is much more dangerous than the "average" piece of highway.

regarding the SO issue, my wife (who climbs but doesn't consider herself a "climber") was pretty casual about me going out until the first time i came back from a climb wrecked (after a 30 hour continuous-push winter climb). now she wants to know how what i'm planning to do compares to that climb. if i say it's easier, she doesn't worry too much, if i say "well...", then she gets nervous.

[Alpine_Tom]

Actually, quitting before a summit "because the conditions just didn't look safe" does a lot to reassure my wife. So, whenever I fail to summit, I report "it didn't look safe" whatever the real reason.

That and a cellular phone, so I can call on the climb (when there's service) to let her know I'm fine and it was no big deal.

It's my feeling that it's easier to be safe climbing than, say, driving to work, because you're in someplace relatively novel, so you're more likely to pay attention than driving down I-5 for the 900th time, late to work and annoyed at the jerk who just cut you off.

Even cycling to work, like I do, you tend not to pay attention when you've ridden the route a lot. I get to work and realize I have no recollection of most of the ride; that never happens in the mountains.

But I question some of those statistics too -- 1 in 5000 people die of the flu?

[dr._jay]

well now the flu can be a real bummer to catch, but usually unless you're old and fragile, other than being a bit of a drag the flu's pretty safe. unfortunately there's plenty of those frail folks out there to skew the statistics. not enough climbing when they were young, i reckon. even more justification to tell the missus, in case you needed some.

[Juneriver]

Until this year, I've always just blown it off with a "Of course I'll be careful" type reply, on my way out the door. But with the wife pregnant and more financial responsibility this year, it was hard to explain all the insurance I wanted to take out. Anyway, I'm really honest about it. I've started to sit down and explain the routes to my wife, go over my itenerary (sp?) with her, and explain the objective dangers.

Of course I don't get into too much detail, and play it down some, but she handles it all pretty well. She also has done some climbing and has got a pretty good idea of what goes on out there.

[Rodchester]

I just lie...anything has to work better than the truth. Peace on earth and at home.

[verticalturtle]

Two important things to remember when looking at these death toll stats..

The current death statistic for every living thing on this planet is 1:1

Second 64.398% of all statistics are wrong

Beyond this try to tell the wife that there is an inverse correlation between IQ and death in the mtns, or if it's ice you climb all should know many studies have revieled that hairy palms significantly reduce the risk of frosbite.

vt

 

[Dru]

Flu does kill lots of people. Spanish flu in 1919 killed more people than World War I in 1914-1918 did!!

Saint Peter to Man at Pearly Gates: "How'd you get here?"

Man: "Flu".

 

[Guest]

Communication is the key.

Also, the number one cause of death for rock climbers is actually snake bites.

[Yossarian]

A new survey in "Climbing" reveals that 50% of the climbing population is about one half.