wyldwyogal Posted April 25, 2008 Posted April 25, 2008 I could use some humor for the next few weeks... Quote
KaskadskyjKozak Posted April 25, 2008 Posted April 25, 2008 here's a few... Q:What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion? A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70? A: Your honor. Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? A: His partners. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement? A: Not enough cement. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles Quote
dt_3pin Posted April 25, 2008 Posted April 25, 2008 It was so cold this morning, the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets. Quote
G-spotter Posted April 25, 2008 Posted April 25, 2008 Why won't a shark bite a lawyer? Professional courtesy. Quote
rob Posted April 25, 2008 Posted April 25, 2008 A lawyer telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. "So, what is it?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Garber has just died" said the lawyer, "and I want to take his place." Replied the governor "Well, its OK with me if its OK with the undertaker." Quote
Doug Posted April 25, 2008 Posted April 25, 2008 Q: What's the difference between a dead racoon laying in the road and a dead lawyer laying in the road? A: There are probably skid marks in front of the Racoon. Q: What do you get when you cross a Lawyer and a Pig? A: Hey, there a some things a pig just won't fuck! Quote
No. 13 Baby Posted April 25, 2008 Posted April 25, 2008 An elderly woman retained a lawyer to draft her last will and testament, for which he charged her two hundred dollars. When he finished, she took the money out of her purse and handed it to him -- enclosing a third hundred dollar bill by mistake. Immediately the attorney faced a crushing ethical question: Should he tell his partner? Quote
Rad Posted April 26, 2008 Posted April 26, 2008 What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? The prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead. How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. Quote
wyldwyogal Posted April 26, 2008 Author Posted April 26, 2008 Laughter is, I believe, one of the most power weapons in the universe! THANK YOU! Quote
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