Girl Gone Wild

[sobo]

My guess is more marriages have survived infidelity than the accidental death of a child. Well that was stated poorly. How about: I bet it is more difficult for a marriage to survive the accidental death of a child than infidelity.

 

I know of at least one couple that survived the loss of their 32-year-old daughter. That was 20 years ago this coming May.

And there was some question of infidelity on the wife's part about 30 years ago. The kids were never fully briefed (nor in my mind need they have been).

That couple celebrated their 53rd anniversary last October. I understand that they are still joyously in love with each other.

[grtmtnchic]

That's nice and all, but infidelity is a deal-breaker for me. I don't share well. It's likely the only deal-breaker I really have... I'd make a lousy (polygamous) mormon wife!

[Couloir]

am i alone out there?? Seriously?

 

+5

[sobo]

That's nice and all, but infidelity is a deal-breaker for me. I don't share well. It's likely the only deal-breaker I really have... I'd make a lousy (polygamous) mormon wife!

 

Read it again, GMC, this time more slowly.

Note that I said "there was some question of infidelity."

[grtmtnchic]

Your point is noted - their marriage survived the tragedy of the death of their daughter and is a good marriage after 53 years. That's great. I interpreted the "some question" as being the real deal...implied on my part. Sorry!

[sobo]

I remembered the scenario as a lad of 15 or so. It stuck with me over the years, for several reasons. I thought it germaine to the discussion at hand. That is all.

[Dechristo]

My guess is more marriages have survived infidelity than the accidental death of a child. Well that was stated poorly. How about: I bet it is more difficult for a marriage to survive the accidental death of a child than infidelity.

 

I know of at least one couple that survived the loss of their 32-year-old daughter.

 

I know several couples that have survived both difficulties (loss of offspring and infidelity).

 

One of the worst: Dave and Rita were traveling to one of their parents' homes in Evergreen with their three kids, ages 8, 10, and 11. When they arrived, all three children, who had been sleeping in the camper in the back of the truck, were unconscious. A nightmare ensued of all the adults trying to revive the three for 45 minutes until an ambulance could arrive. None of the kids survived.

 

Dave and Rita stayed together for fifteen more years, having two more kids, until Rita succumbed to cancer.

Edited March 25, 2008 by Dechristo

[sobo]

Wow, that is harsh. I don't know what else to say. Harsh. Just harsh. Totally preventable. ouch

[Stefan]

Pretty clear. You're not alone.

Never cheated on the wife. Ever.

 

Same here. My word is good.

[sk]

My guess is more marriages have survived infidelity than the accidental death of a child. Well that was stated poorly. How about: I bet it is more difficult for a marriage to survive the accidental death of a child than infidelity.

 

I know of at least one couple that survived the loss of their 32-year-old daughter.

 

I know several couples that have survived both difficulties (loss of offspring and infidelity).

 

One of the worst: Dave and Rita were traveling to one of their parents' homes in Evergreen with their three kids, ages 8, 10, and 11. When they arrived, all three children, who had been sleeping in the camper in the back of the truck, were unconscious. A nightmare ensued of all the adults trying to revive the three for 45 minutes until an ambulance could arrive. None of the kids survived.

 

Dave and Rita stayed together for fifteen more years, having two more kids, until Rita succumbed to cancer.

 

dear god i do not think i would have survived that. wow. heart wrenching for sure.

[sk]

That's nice and all, but infidelity is a deal-breaker for me. I don't share well. It's likely the only deal-breaker I really have... I'd make a lousy (polygamous) mormon wife!

 

sometime loving someone is learning to love them in the flawed state they are in. we all have weaknesses, we all make mistakes and have transgressions. Coming from a relationship mired in infidelity (yep those are my folks) i never understood how my mother could stand it. so much so that after my divorce i never thought i would fall in love again let alone be in a long term relationship again. I think the key to a relationship working is loving all you can love. if that person is willing to give you some love back you will continue to love. if they wont eventually you will run out of love and move on.

[Dechristo]

Rita sobbed and wept every waking moment for over two weeks until she would fall asleep from exhaustion. Over time, she started to experience longer periods of peace. She said she felt the cruelest part of the ordeal was when, upon waking, the horror of her reality would come crashing upon her anew, crushing her again, and again.

 

In her last months, when she knew death would arrive soon, she spoke of her gladness in knowing she would soon see her three kids missing for fifteen years.

[Bug]

I had to brace for the possibility of losing one of my daughters when she was 5. She pulled through.

I cannot imagine the pain these parents went through.

[Dechristo]

It's a hard thing to accept that our kids, just like us, are born to die; and, that they may go before we do.

[sobo]

That's the real kicker, isn't it? I fully expect to die before my kids, but I don't know if I could handle it if one or both of them died before me.

[Dechristo]

No doubt.

 

My youngest son, Graham, when he was twenty, told me he was fairly sure (due to a premonition) that he would die when he was twenty-three. He said he didn't know how, but, he was convinced. Neither he, nor I, told his mother of this; like Graham said,

 

"I knew I could talk to you about this, Dad, but Mom...I think it's best not to trouble her just in case I'm wrong."

 

I never forgot about it. It was always there in my mind.

 

Sure enough, in his twenty-third year, he was in an awful car accident when his car spun-out on the black ice surface of a major highway and was hit by an oncoming truck. They both were traveling in excess of 60mph.

 

Graham's now in his twenty-fifth year.

[Gary_Yngve]

I have a definition for cheating.

 

any conversation interaction or physical activity you would not have in front of and with the full knowledge of your partner. anything that is a secret from your partner breaks down the trust you share.

 

...

 

the promise i need to hear is "I will never lie to you or keep from you that which you have the right to know"

 

No doubt.

 

My youngest son, Graham, when he was twenty, told me he was fairly sure (due to a premonition) that he would die when he was twenty-three. He said he didn't know how, but, he was convinced. Neither he, nor I, told his mother of this; like Graham said,

 

"I knew I could talk to you about this, Dad, but Mom...I think it's best not to trouble her just in case I'm wrong."

 

Going by Muffy's definition, the lesser of two evils was to "cheat"?

[Dechristo]

Yep.

 

I was thinking of Muffy's definition when writing what you quoted.

 

It may be best, in some instances, not to instigate conflict in an area in which a loved one is their own worst enemy.

 

 

 

Plus, you must remember, many of us were accepting unabashedly the real possibility that we, ourselves, would not live to see thirty, so hearing this from my son was only new to me due to it's source.

[grtmtnchic]

That's nice and all, but infidelity is a deal-breaker for me. I don't share well. It's likely the only deal-breaker I really have... I'd make a lousy (polygamous) mormon wife!

 

sometime loving someone is learning to love them in the flawed state they are in. we all have weaknesses, we all make mistakes and have transgressions. Coming from a relationship mired in infidelity (yep those are my folks) i never understood how my mother could stand it. so much so that after my divorce i never thought i would fall in love again let alone be in a long term relationship again. I think the key to a relationship working is loving all you can love. if that person is willing to give you some love back you will continue to love. if they wont eventually you will run out of love and move on.

 

I hear ya - my response was a bit strong, and in reality, it's never as easy or clear-cut as I like to make it sound (as I wish it were) - words are always easier, yeah? Being able to love a flawed person is important...cuz we're all flawed to some extent! But it's important to protect oneself from inordinate pain as well.

 

 

[dt_3pin]

Wow. This thread sure turned into a fucking bummer. Dead kids. Cheating spouses. Can't we just stay focused on the fun stuff - you know, high-priced hookers and nudie pictures?

[sobo]

Yeah! Who threw the wet blanket on this thread anyway? Crucify him!

[minx]

hey, i'm all for high priced hookers but i'm just going w/the flow

[sobo]

I think GMC started it about halfway down Page 2, talking about getting married as a potential financial windfall/occupation. Archie followed up shortly recommending to the contrary, then you jumped in, minx. I think at that point us guys were still hoping for some nekkid pictures...

[grtmtnchic]

Absolutely! Sorry, I contributed to the demise of this spew, er, spray thread...

 

Here's getting back to the original topic: High-Priced Hookers

 

"GFE stands for "girlfriend experience," which means the prostitute will pretend to be a girlfriend, not just provide the services of a hooker. PSE stands for "porn star experience," which means the prostitute will do just about anything."

 

So, which is better...GFE or PSE?

 

 

 

[sobo]

Unless your girlfriend is willing to perform up to the high standards of the PSE, then you might as well go for the PSE directly, if you're going to shell out shekels for it anyway.

I'm just sayin'...