de-Floridation Now

[tvashtarkatena]

Election time is coming up, and many folks are looking for ways to channel the hate. This election, why not hate a whole state? The funny thing is how quickly most folks come up with the same candidate. This drooping dick of mud and palmetto bugs never fails to become a bougainvellia festooned dildo up our collective political asses every four years. It is a land whose population has gone from this:

 

 

to this:

 

 

Look at the perpetually undecided mug on that cranky old bat. It should be on the state seal. It’s a look that says “My house is somewhere in Mississippi because my Fat Fuck Cuban contractor built it 2 inches above sea level on a lot that has seen more hurricanes than Trader Vic’s, and I blame YOU.”

 

So this year, let’s finally do something about Florida. Let’s sell it. Disneyworld. Fat Fuck Cuban contractors. Sinking doublewides. Hanging chads. The whole whiny fucking mess. On Craigslist. For cheap. To anyone.

 

Adios, Pelos Azules. Via con fucking Dios.

 

 

Edited November 9, 2007 by tvashtarkatena

[lI1|1!]

yeah i heard the government puts floride in the water so we won't wear tinfoil hats.

[tomtom]

Just don't swallow.

[Bug]

Be patient.

It will all be under water soon.

[G-spotter]

Then Floridan refugees will buy up all the Squamish condos and it will be your fault for driving your goddamn SUV

[selkirk]

Can we give Texas back to Mexico while were at it?

[KaskadskyjKozak]

Can we give Texas back to Mexico while were at it?

 

we already are

[lI1|1!]

Can we give Texas back to Mexico while were at it?

 

we already are

 

poor KKK, maybe someday they'll create an aryan homeland just for you.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

Can we give Texas back to Mexico while were at it?

 

we already are

 

poor KKK, maybe someday they'll create an aryan homeland just for you.

 

FOAD

[tvashtarkatena]

Can we give Texas back to Mexico while were at it?

 

You know, I don't know where this anti-Mexican sentiment comes from. What did they ever do to us except cook up some really good grub and build everything around us?

 

Besides, Texas is a known quantity every election. They know they're a bowl full of assholes, we know they're a bowl full of assholes. It doesn't feel the need to draw attention to itself like "undecided" Florida, which, at election time, is like watching an utterly confused tourist amble back and forth in the crosswalk while you wait through light change after light change. Eventually, you wish that semi idling next to you would just throw 'er into first and roll over the fucker with all 9 wheels, hit the compression brakes for some decent smear effect, slam it into into reverse, and repeat.

 

And Texas redeems itself somewhat with Austin. But Florida? What's worth saving...Orlando?

Edited November 10, 2007 by tvashtarkatena

[whirlwind]

welcome to miami. i almost agree, why not just lynch the state gov, and install officaials that have been voted in by us