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Posted
Looks like someone has thrown down the gauntlet in the cc.com gape-off. That's a reasonably strong effort by Gary, but I think that I can take him.

 

 

 

 

BZZZZZZZT - Gary wins because he's wearing shorts over polypro!

 

Look at all of those wands, though. No wands on Gary.

 

Yeah the wands are a nice touch, but Gary got ya beat hands down.

 

* Shorts over poly pro, check

* 3 tools, check (4 if you count Gary)

* 22cm ice screws, check (who the hell uses these anyways, 4 of them too)

* gore-tex on a sunny day, check

* rope behind the leg, check

* clusterfuck around the shoulder, check

* daisy chain going over the shoulder attached to pack(?), check

 

Whatcha you got, wands, thats it, come on you got to do better than that if you are going to compete against gape-master.

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Posted
Looks like someone has thrown down the gauntlet in the cc.com gape-off. That's a reasonably strong effort by Gary, but I think that I can take him.

 

 

 

 

BZZZZZZZT - Gary wins because he's wearing shorts over polypro!

 

Look at all of those wands, though. No wands on Gary.

 

Yeah the wands are a nice touch, but Gary got ya beat hands down.

 

* Shorts over poly pro, check

* 3 tools, check (4 if you count Gary)

* 22cm ice screws, check (who the hell uses these anyways, 4 of them too)

* gore-tex on a sunny day, check

* rope behind the leg, check

* clusterfuck around the shoulder, check

* daisy chain going over the shoulder attached to pack(?), check

 

Whatcha you got, wands, thats it, come on you got to do better than that if you are going to compete against gape-master.

 

Somewhere in a storage unit back in Washington I have a photo that will crush any and all challengers. Some buddies and I went backpacking around Mt. Adams just after I finished high-school, and we hiked up to one of the morraines and took in the scenery. After being continuously disapointed by the lack of extremitude and drama in my previous hiking photos, I took out the 3/8" polypro cord that we had with us form some reason or another, tied one end around a rock, and walked down the morraine a bit, and then passed the rope behind my waist to make it look like I was rappelling. I handed my friends the camera and repeatedly emphasized the importance of them framing the shot so that the foreground would be cut off, and it would look like I was rappelling into some kind of gaping void, with a vast panorama spreading out towards the horizons behind me for dramatic effect. The visage also included acid-washed jeans and fake-oakley "blade" sunglasses for heightened effect. Unfortunately for me, my companions failed miserably in their foreground-cropping duties, so the picture showed me standing on a slightly inclined pile of dirt, and for reasons that no one who didn't know the backstory could possibly comprehend, leaning back a bit and holding onto a rope.

 

Nothing could possibly top this.

Posted

I can't believe that Gary and I are owning all of cc.com this badly . Sad, sad, sad effort on everyone else's part. One digi-cam and a pair of gorts and I could reign supreme forever.

Posted

it's a good thing that ice axe is chained to the harness in case it leaps out of his hands to make a run for freedom.

 

note that it is chained to the same NFPA-rated monster biner as before and I do believe the nut-raking ATC is lurking there too.

 

all this is moot due to the lexan wrecking ball worthy of choir boy tryouts.

Posted

see the great thing about being a gaper chick is that no matter the extremity of your gaperdom, the guys are always happy to see you. something about a chick w/an axe that they find appealing.

 

they dig me b/c i'm so plab.

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