tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Analysis by the US Department of Energy (DoE) - seen by Newsnight - shows that at $50 a barrel Venezuela - not Saudi Arabia - will have the biggest oil reserves in Opec. mr pres/ when do we launch? that chavez guy is a monstter you know!! Fear not. I've asked congress to commit our half trillion dollar military budget towards the purchase of Vespas, ironic looking goggles, bike messenger packs, and retro 60s helmets, for every truck and SUV driving American. All SUVs will be confiscated and remanufactured into really large, visually impactful windmills, painted by hippies to look like huge magic mushrooms and other fanciful themes, to be located primarily on suburban lawns, which will be taken under eminent domain. Our oil troubles will be over in six months. The remainder of the United States military will be used to annex Costa Rica, Fiji, Rio de Janeiro, New Zealand, and other prime vacation spots around the globe. Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 What will their uniforms look like? Yes, this is an excellent proposal. We should definitely send strong message to the American people that it's now OK to be gay. Quote
mattp Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Family Values will be our new slogan. Dwayner will be Secretary of Education and Mike Layton will be the first Family Values Czar, heading up the "Department of Clean Living and Back to Basics." John Scurlock will be our airforce. Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 do women have all their rights in vez ? no? were goin' in !!! Any really hot Venezualan latinas that feel oppressed by the Chavez regime will be granted expedited US citizenship through a new program called Extraordinarily Milkshake Rendition. Quote
joblo7 Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 mr. pres, at the risk of being sackreligious, i would propose a new gentler version of the o'l RED , WHITE and BLUE ! new national anthem : who let the dogs out? woof! woof! (repeat ad naseum) Quote
joblo7 Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Analysis by the US Department of Energy (DoE) - seen by Newsnight - shows that at $50 a barrel Venezuela - not Saudi Arabia - will have the biggest oil reserves in Opec. mr pres/ when do we launch? that chavez guy is a monstter you know!! Fear not. I've asked congress to commit our half trillion dollar military budget towards the purchase of Vespas, ironic looking goggles, bike messenger packs, and retro 60s helmets, for every truck and SUV driving American. All SUVs will be confiscated and remanufactured into really large, visually impactful windmills, painted by hippies to look like huge magic mushrooms and other fanciful themes, to be located primarily on suburban lawns, which will be taken under eminent domain. Our oil troubles will be over in six months. The remainder of the United States military will be used to annex Costa Rica, Fiji, Rio de Janeiro, New Zealand, and other prime vacation spots around the globe. sir, sir.... do not forget jamaica!!! maaan Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 No one whose witnessed the past six years of American history would doubt that our country has been hampered by an unprecedented pandemic of stupidity. The key to tackling this problem is to nip it at the bud. From now on, the Department of Education, headed by Arc, will spearhead a new program called Slow Child Left To Die which will fund mandatory classes in NASCAR driving, base jumping, speed climbing, stunt flying, extreme skiing, monster wave surfing and other quick reflex activities to children starting at age 5. Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 mr. pres, at the risk of being sacrilegious, i would propose a new gentler version of the o'l RED , WHITE and BLUE ! new national anthem : who let the dogs out? woof! woof! (repeat ad naseum) From now on, dogs will allowed in all bars. In addition, all lawns with little cartoon dogs pooping with a red line through them will be redeveloped as dog parks. Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 sir, sir.... do not forget jamaica!!! maaan We're bypassing Jamaica for St. Vincent. Johnny Too Bad, however, will become our new national anthem. Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 As a conciliatory gesture, I've asked congress to extend Condoleeza Rice's dental coverage so that she may finally fix that gap. Quote
joblo7 Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 (edited) gap that ass!!!!!!! Edited January 15, 2007 by virendra7 Quote
cindy66 Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 CINDY66 for family planning? Dooooode..That cuts.Im not up for family planning, Been there done that.Im thru with it,all my puppys are grown and outclimbing me. Quote
joblo7 Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 you're our new ministrelle of fam plan ! maamm! EXPERIENCE! Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 A new flag will be needed. Red, white and blue goes with nothing...it's worse than the Ford logo. No, the new, greener America will need the same color on its flag, perhaps in the shape of a leaf, from a plant that everyone is familiar with and that truly speaks to our national character...I'm consulting my staff for ideas... Quote
joblo7 Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 may i humbly suggest a space probe loaded with the present/ex administration and clonies ,driven by seecocks, to go where no man ever came back from....as ambassadors to the far north. Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 CINDY66 for family planning? Dooooode..That cuts.Im not up for family planning, Been there done that.Im thru with it,all my puppys are grown and outclimbing me. Tax exempt status for all churches will be eliminated under the Equal Protection Clause. The extra revenue will be used to set up free high speed internet dating services, cooking instruction, and wine classes so that every American can get laid as often as they need to. This, alone, will reduce most of the anger and frustration in this country. Quote
joblo7 Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ! ! CALL CINDY! Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 (edited) may i humbly suggest a space probe loaded with the present/ex administration and clonies ,driven by seecocks, to go where no man ever came back from....as ambassadors to the far north. Bush will finally go to Mars. Cheney will be sent into close orbit around the sun with his bare ass protruding into space through a specially designed airlock so that it may be 'peppered' with near molten micrometeors. Edited January 15, 2007 by tvashtarkatena Quote
Dechristo Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 (edited) A new flag will be needed. Red, white and blue goes with nothing...it's worse than the Ford logo. No, the new, greener America will need the same color on its flag, perhaps in the shape of a leaf, from a plant that everyone is familiar with and that truly speaks to our national character...I'm consulting my staff for ideas... common name: Showy Loco Weed Edited January 15, 2007 by Dechristo Quote
joblo7 Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 mr pres! its seems we only appointed white folks! again! Quote
tvashtarkatena Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 mr pres! its seems we only appointed white folks! again! George Clinton will be Secretary of Funk. Quote
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