pope Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Trip Report: Darrington 2002 Part One: Prologue to a Dream(er). Late last Friday night, Pope realized that he'd left his alarm clock over at the college, and he was supposed to meet Dwayner at 5 a.m. backwards of the REI. With little sleep and ample beer in his veins, there was no way he was going to make the early morning appointment without an alarm clock, unless... At 1 a.m. Saturday, Pope cruised into the dark lot, parked his subcompact behind the Federal Way REI and pulled his sleeping bag over his head. Maybe twenty minutes passed before bright lights shone through the car window, and an authoritative voice informed him that he wouldn't be allowed to sleep there. The security cop suggested that Pope should cross the street and check in at the Marriott. "Yeah, sure buddy. That's just what I'll do. Thanks for being so helpful," replied Pope. Rent-a-cop pulled away, and Pope went back to sleep. Within minutes, a car screeched to a halt, and a flashlight banged against my window. Mr. Security Cop again explained that there would be no overnighting in that parking lot. "I'm not moving. You'll just have to ignore me. I'll be gone at 5 a.m. Do I look like a thief, a needle junkie or a sport climber?" asked Pope. "You won't sleep much with this flashlight poking in your face all night," he responded. Then he threatened to call his superior. "Your superior? Well that doesn't narrow the field much now does it?" Pope retorted. Pope shrugged, and the security cop followed through with his threat. The dispatch apparently told him to quit messin' wid da Pope, and that was the end of the harassment for a while until he returned to give Pope a wake-up call the next morning, and to explain that he didn't like making exceptions to the rules. "This lot's got the lowest crime rate in Federal Way, which if you didn't notice, isn't the safest place. This lot is safe because I'm doing my job, and I don't mind being "the bad-assed security guy" if that's what it takes to do the job." Just then, Pope noticed that the letters T-H-U-G were tattooed across the four fingers of Rent-a-Cop's right hand. Pope was not intimidated and once again went back to sleep until Dwayner arrived "right on time" with his usual line, "I thought you meant that you wanted me to leave MY HOUSE at 5 AM!" He suggested that we immediately find a pay phone and call Big Lou to report the security guard for his attempts to impede our pursuit of big wall excellence. Part II: The Climb With some trepidation, I left the fate of my car in the hands of Rent-A-Thug, hoping that it would still be there on my return with its tires unslashed and no new obscene grafitti plastered on its win-dough! Besides, the Dwayner-mobile has all of the comforts of home, especially after a brief stop for a damn Egg-A-Muff, Bacon Egga McBiscuit, with all the trimmins. And a large coffee to go please. Dwayner referred to the delightful young lady who took our money as a "behemoth". It wasn't true, she was HOT!. Dwayner fell asleep at the wheel twice on the way to the park 'n ride lot in Seattle; I woke him up by pouring a cup of steaming coffee on a sensitive part of his anatomy located in his crotch. The caffeine must have taken its effect because he woke yelling. "You've just managed to scald 80% of my epidermis!" Soon enough, we reached the park 'n ride where we met the world famous Mattp and his buddy Greg. In the car on the way over, me and Dwayner discussed whether it would be appropriate to greet Greg, who neither of us knew, as "Sparky". The discussion was as hot as the coffee in Dwayner's crotch but we ultimately decided that it would be o.k. When we did meet Greg, Dwayner clammed up and just shook his hand, sans the "Sparky". We then drove to Darrington. Greg had some music going with this song that went, "All I want to do, is have some fun..." Pope looked at Dwayner and he looked at Pope and they gave each other a high-five. Then they climbed Dreamer on Green Giant Buttress. On the way home, we stopped at some place....it was dark so we didn't knows where we be, but Greg pulled over and we bought chips and adult beverages. Dwayner also bought a Moon Pie and I think it hurt his feelings when no-one else would sample the wretched thing. We wanted to wash the big wall off our hands but a girl went into the bathroom and didn't come out for a good long time. One can only speculate........but when she finally left, it smelled like someone had sprayed a complete canister of floral scented RAID to cover up a mysterious and devious odor. I fidgeted nervously all the way back wondering if my car would still be parked. You know, you CAN trust them guys in the green vest at the REI because the pope-mobile was waiting and intact, in fact, it looked as if it had been waxed and polished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 In other words, you climbed Dreamer. Matt said you guys had fun. Way to go. =;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattp Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 For those who have been wondering, Dwayner and Pope are indeed real people. Here they are: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Wow! That is a really big pack!!! What do you have in there? Beer? Thanks for the pic Mattp! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chucK Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Maybe it's full of all the bolts that they pulled further on down the route? If you look close you can see the crowbar slung on the back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted July 12, 2002 Author Share Posted July 12, 2002 quote: Originally posted by Juan: In other words, you climbed Dreamer. Matt said you guys had fun. Way to go. =;-) Or I could have written something like: "We climbed dreamer, using ropes and such, and we struggled mightily, at times having not so much as a fingernail purchase on that flint-hard, flawless granite. The conditions, theys was good." However, I think you'll agree that the supporting details of this monumental adventure are too important to be omitted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Pope: I have heard you say you don't do sport climbs. I was wondering if you tried the Urban Bypass variation to Dreamer? Some might call it a sport climb-- it is all bolts and they are placed very close together. What did you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted July 12, 2002 Author Share Posted July 12, 2002 quote: Originally posted by Matt: Pope: I have heard you say you don't do sport climbs. I was wondering if you tried the Urban Bypass variation to Dreamer? Some might call it a sport climb-- it is all bolts and they are placed very close together. What did you think? I didn't get a very good look at it so I don't know. I will say (again), there are certainly applications of bolting that seem acceptable. I'm impressed with the work MattP and others have done on routes like Safe Sex, and even some of the bolts that have been reportedly added to Dreamer seem to make sense. Not all of the adventure has been squeezed out of it; in fact, it still presents some run-out, challenging climbing, and we can only hope it maintains this flavor. Regarding sport climbs, don't you think that having ten new, 80-foot sport pitches along the base of Green Giant Buttress would kind of degrade the place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoker Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Approach beta please... how long in measure of time, is the "trail" straight forward? Thanks, its next on my wish-list smoker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bronco Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Thats kind of a funny picture, it looks like you guys are crawling on a big horizontal slab. Did you really climb or is this a conspiracy cooked up by Univeral Studios? I know you guys are connected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg_W Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 That looks like some of the same props/backgrounds they used to film the "moon landings" on back in the sixties. As if we actually flew to the moon; yeah, right. Greg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattp Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Smoker - The approach is straight forward for someone who has been scrambling up and down peaks along the mountain loop highway. I would not recommend Teva's. It takes about an hour and a half. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoker Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Smoker: You'll never make it. = ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoker Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 Ha, ha..maybe so but I'll have fun getting lost! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattp Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 If you pass a black bra, you are on the right trail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layton Posted July 12, 2002 Share Posted July 12, 2002 I remember that bra, slightly disturbing concidering the area! Also, if you pass a rotting corpse that resembles a dead crack whore wearing black panties...you're on the wrong trail . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoker Posted July 13, 2002 Share Posted July 13, 2002 Yum! I knew I was afraid to ask where the panties were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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