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Posted

I was at a conference in New Orleans at the time. It was a Tues night, and my talk wasn't until Thursday. So have fun Tues night, Curfew/no drinking Wed night. One of my buddies bought a bottle of vampiric voodoo hotsauce and told me to try a little. I put just the tip of my finger on the bottle, but he shoved it all the way in. Pretty hot stuff. Anyway, later on that night, I inadvertently rubbed my eye. I immediately ran back to my hotel room to wash it out. I had it decenty washed out when I realized I also needed to pee...

 

In the meantime, my coauthors were concerned about my eye and if I'd be fine by Thursday. They asked my roommate how I was doing, and he was happy to oblige with all the information. The next day, everyone knew about my mishap in the bathroom.

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Posted

When I was 6, I ran across the street to go play with the neighbour. We lived on a one-way street, so I looked the right way. No cars? Cool. Off I ran. A cyclist on a 10-speed was going the wrong way and didn't see the munchkin dash out in front of him.

 

He totally nailed me, ran right over me, and my lip ended up getting caught in the bike chain. hellno3d.gif I got dragged for a house length and lost consciousness briefly. I woke up on the neighbour's lawn with all the kids and a couple of adults staring down at me. Later, in the hospital for stitches, the biker brought me some ice cream. He was a young college student and felt bad. I ate all the ice cream.

Posted

So my no dignity story happened in Junior High. I was visiting an uncle who had a mean Ram. I did not heed his advice and was soon up a small tree. After a while I figured that no one would hear my yells for help. My scheme for escape involved jumping out of the tree and riding the Ram out. I ended up facing backwards with my legs in a lock around his neck. To help hang on I wrapped my arms around it's waist. By the time I was rescued we were doing laps in the field and I had severe rug burns on my chin and nose. Lots of comments at school followed my explanation.

Posted

[quoteI'm sure it's happened, but the one time I was nailed from behind, it was a snowboarder. They think that running the fall line is "in control" until some object is in front of them, at which time, they discover the truth.

 

DFA has been run into by or nearly run into by skiers plenty of times. Your sample group of one incident is rather small for drawing conclusions about an entire user group, isn't it, science man?

 

The fact is that stupid, careless, ignorant people are out there snow-sliding on all types of planks. Perpetuating the 20-odd-year-old myth that snowboarders are out of control is fucking retarded.

 

yoda.gif

Posted

[quote}Perpetuating the 20-odd-year-old myth that snowboarders are out of control is fucking retarded.

 

No shit. Most of them are sitting on their asses in the middle of the slopes.

 

rolleyes.gif

Posted
. . . but the one time I was nailed from behind, it was a snowboarder.

I can honestly say that I've never gotten nailed from behind, skier or snowboarder.

 

My undignified injury did happen to my ass, though. Freshman year spring break I went to Whistler with my friend and his dad. His dad's friend bet that nobody would drink a whole bottle of Habanero hot sauce called "Fear Itself" for $20. Well, $20 would've paid for a few poor college student's meals, or half a lift ticket so I was game. I had to drink it over the course of the meal, but I figured I should get it over with early. I didn't eat my dinner, as it felt like my intestines were slowly dissolving. I was also up all night pooping lava. Not fun.

Posted

i rubbed one of those red cherry bomb peppers on my eye once.

 

after an hour or so it started to almost feel comfortable, like a warm hug on a cold day

Posted
i rubbed one of those red cherry bomb peppers on my eye once.

 

after an hour or so it started to almost feel comfortable, like a warm hug from AlpineK

 

Keep these stories coming!

 

I have to say everyone is out of control when they learn to ski or snowboard. It's kind of inevitable. I'm just not sure how this guy managed to hit me on a huge wide open green run with only about ten other people out that night. confused.gif

Posted

My most indignant injuries are when I notice I'm bleeding or have a huge, ol' honkin' bruise, and I don't know how or when it happened. confused.gif

 

That happened just today. I think it was my knitting needles, though.

Posted
i rubbed one of those red cherry bomb peppers on my eye once.

 

after an hour or so it started to almost feel comfortable, like a warm hug from AlpineK

 

Keep these stories coming!

 

I have to say everyone is out of control when they learn to ski or snowboard. It's kind of inevitable. I'm just not sure how this guy managed to hit me on a huge wide open green run with only about ten other people out that night. confused.gif

 

AlpineK would make a good TaunTaun on a cold day yoda.gif

Posted

Actually that's not true, I broke some of my teeth when in a fight in Grade 2, and this other kid clocked me with his lunchbox, right in the mouth.

 

Then, 18 years later, I went to take a swig out of a bottle of Eau Benite at a drunken party, and wham! knocked the etchings off my teeth with the bottle.

Posted (edited)
Hope your knee doesn't require surgery. To alleviate the nausea don't take the Oxy orally. Use as a suppository. Works real quick w/o the barfing. The while your buzzin' make a voodoo doll of snowboarder, and then proceed to stickin him. That should help with any issues of anger.
Edited by darrington_ghetto_climber

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