Gidget Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 I guess I know where Christians stand on mental health. mental illness isanity retardation deaf and dumb Let's just burn them all at the stake while we are at it. I do have to saw that drunk at church is pretty funny. Quote
minx Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 after discovering that i could buy skin care products and have my soul saved from the same website,i had an epiphany! clearly only god could make that precious combo possible! it's time for me to change! it's time for me to cleanse my soul and buy some wrinkle cream. i just made it as far as the second list of demons (this stuff's hardwork) After the first list and all those demons, it seems like you'd be about perfect if you got all those demons handled. ....but then there's a second list. now i have questions: ahab? huh? how is this a demon? they can cure acne? why isn't every pimply faced 14 years old in the bible belt checking this out? is this how the skin care products tie in? affliction? is this all afflictions or is their one biblical affliction that i should know about? asmodeus--ruler of lust? now...that sounds like a demon name...this is all starting to make sense now...but how do you get rid of this particular demon? why would you? damn...clearly, saving my soul is going to require getting answers to a lot of questions. i'm not even through the "A"s yet. Quote
EWolfe Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 The answers to your questions lie in THE WRINKLE CREAM! It is a difficult and thankless process applying THE WRINKLE CREAM, but the rewards are many. Quote
cj001f Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Don't forget Mammonism I think it and Onanism are running neck and neck. Quote
Thinker Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Don't forget Mammonism I think it and Onanism are running neck and neck. Only if you're trying to decorate your organ with gold bangles.... Quote
cj001f Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Only if you're trying to decorate your organ with gold bangles.... Then the ladies say "Prince Albert, I presume?" Quote
minx Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Is Prince Albert one of the demons? I haven't reached the "P" portion of the list yet Quote
cj001f Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Is Prince Albert one of the demons? Must be with all the screaming and moaning. Quote
EWolfe Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 You listening to demon music today? MUSIC CLASSICAL MUSIC COUNTRY MUSIC HEAVY METAL MUSIC JAZZ MUSIC RAP MUSIC ROCK and ROLL MUSIC WRONG CHRISTIAN MUSIC BLUES NEW AGE and just when you thought you were good: MUSIC-ALL OTHER Quote
Gidget Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Yes that is crazy. When I was looking for colleges I read a big book and all of the schools in Utah that I saw said dancing, singing and music of all forms were banned. Yeow Quote
Stefan Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Call Demonbusters!!! http://www.demonbuster.com/demonlist.html In their second list they have "Jesus only" to be cast out of everyone. Doesn't that make them hypocrites. I have too many demons. I love the hernia as a demon! Quote
archenemy Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 You listening to demon music today? MUSIC CLASSICAL MUSIC COUNTRY MUSIC HEAVY METAL MUSIC JAZZ MUSIC RAP MUSIC ROCK and ROLL MUSIC WRONG CHRISTIAN MUSIC BLUES NEW AGE and just when you thought you were good: MUSIC-ALL OTHER Samael rules! Quote
Dechristo Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Time. And all of its ramifications of subjective cognitive rationality. Quote
minx Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 I'm still waiting for my wrinkle cream. I don't see wrinkles on the lists of demons so I'm not quite sure why I need it. I think maybe it hasn't arrived b/c I haven't purged myself of all the demons. I'm working on B thru G today. I have more questions. Who is Blackwell? Why do they think he's a demon? What exactly are they going to do about catatonic stupor? does this mean I have to stop reading cc.com? (which is not on the list...hmmmm) Why can't I cry? Dejavu? nevermind...i think i already handled that demon or at least i think i have. Drunk at church? Why is this a demon and how else would one get through church? Electromagnetic Waves--should I be wearing a tinfoil hat? Evil Eye--that's my best parenting technique. now what am i supposed to do? Quote
fenderfour Posted November 16, 2005 Author Posted November 16, 2005 Stink eye is not the same as evil eye. Quote
Skeezix Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 Automatic Handwringing is the one that's been plaguing me all these years! Quote
EWolfe Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 Minx is my Demon. no, wait, something more stoic: Quote
knelson Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 Well, I consider myself a Christian so I guess I'm just goin' to Hell for this but... Did anyone check out their main page? BOYCE and BOICE are two demons that interfere with any electronic equipment, i.e., phone, computer, printer, automibile. If something malfunctions, command these two demons to leave your equipment, in the name of Jesus. Now, I don't have the WHOLE Bible committed to memory, but I'm just not remembering this passage. Guess I better burn that tie of mine... http://www.demonbuster.com/paisley.html Quote
minx Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 (edited) Minx is my Demon. no, wait, something more stoic: sweet! i always wanted to be a demon! i'll be the demon of random, undeserved deleting and banning i still want to know where my wrinkle cream is!!!! Edited November 21, 2005 by minx Quote
Dechristo Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 i still want to know where my wrinkle cream is!!!! Dru spotted a refrigerated truck of it en route to you. Quote
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