snugtop Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Exodus God decides to kill Moses because his son had not yet been circumcised. 4:24-26 If you hear of a city where another god is worshiped, then destroy everyone in the city (even the cattle) and burn it down. (Watch out Salt Lake!) 13:12-16 If a betrothed virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough, then "the men of the city shall stone her to death." 22:23-24 Proverbs Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14 If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out your eyeballs and the eagles will eat them. 30:17 Isaiah God will make every man kill his brother and then force him to eat "the flesh of his own arm." 9:19-20 After God destroys Moab, the rivers will be red with blood. He will send lions to eat any survivors. 15:9 Jeremiah God will make parents eat their own children, "and they shall eat everyone the flesh of his friend." 19:7-9 A child who hits or curses his parents must be executed. 21:15, 17 Leviticus Those who break the Sabbath are to be executed. 31:14 If a man has sex with his father's wife, kill them both. 20:11 If a man "lies" with his daughter-in-law, then both must be killed. 20:12 If a man has sex with another man, kill them both. 20:13 Anyone who blasphemes or curses shall be stoned to death by the entire community. 24:16 Quote
Greta Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14 I dont have a bible handy, but this one sounds like you might be paraphrasing? Sounds good, though. I like it. Quote
TREETOAD Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Hmm that sounds like my Roman Catholic upbringing, I'd like to chat more but I have to go and flagelate myself now. Quote
TREETOAD Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 I deserve it. My mom told me so, she should know because she grew up in a convent. Quote
knotzen Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Well, probably we could find someone to come over there and beat you up. Quote
knotzen Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 What a team! In a matter of minutes we have successfully: 1. Identified a problem (TREETOAD feels guilty and needs punishment) 2. Identified a solution (knotzen will send someone over to punish TREETOAD) 3. Implemented the solution (Greta is on his way to Kapow!ie TREETOAD) (Why, yes, I am in the process of updating my resume; why do you ask?) Quote
Greta Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Applying for an organized crime position? And knotzen, your new avatar has burned a hole in my retinas. Quote
ScottP Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Anyone who blasphemes or curses shall be stoned to death by the entire community. 24:16 "Go fuck yourself." -Cheney to Patrick Leahy on the floor of the senate. Quote
TREETOAD Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 What a team! In a matter of minutes we have successfully: 1. Identified a problem (TREETOAD feels guilty and needs punishment) 2. Identified a solution (knotzen will send someone over to punish TREETOAD) 3. Implemented the solution (Greta is on his way to Kapow!ie TREETOAD) (Why, yes, I am in the process of updating my resume; why do you ask?) Would you like a letter of recommendation at at all? Your facilition skills are excellent. Do you own a ball gag? Quote
knotzen Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 And knotzen, your new avatar has burned a hole in my retinas. Why, thank you. Quote
knotzen Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Do you own a ball gag? WTF is a ball gag? Do I need one? Quote
TREETOAD Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Lets go on to the next question shall we? Quote
sk Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Do you own a ball gag? WTF is a ball gag? Do I need one? it is a gag with a ball that goes in your mouth so you can't breath arround or threw it... commenly used by people into bondage and S&M and the such. you can borrow mine if you like Quote
selkirk Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Just ask Archie... I bet she'd demonstrate at the next pubclub. Quote
knelson Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Wow! Exodus to ball gags in 13 posts! Yet a new cc.com record. Quote
Thinker Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 We need to toss in a little snaffle humor here.... Quote
archenemy Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Sweet, sweet Muffy. One can, indeed, breath easily around the ball gag--that's why people buy them. Of course, if you are on a budget, you can tie a knot in the middle of a bandana , tie both ends together behind the slave's head, and that should suffice as an impromtu "ball gag". It's not as nice though, it soaks up saliva that could be used elsewhere. Quote
sk Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Sweet, sweet Muffy. One can, indeed, breath easily around the ball gag--that's why people buy them. Of course, if you are on a budget, you can tie a knot in the middle of a bandana , tie both ends together behind the slave's head, and that should suffice as an impromtu "ball gag". It's not as nice though, it soaks up saliva that could be used elsewhere. true you can breath arround it but it tough to work out of your mouth Quote
knotzen Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 I'm getting an uncomfortable feeling about this. Quote
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