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Lessons from the Bible


snugtop

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Exodus

 

God decides to kill Moses because his son had not yet been circumcised. 4:24-26

 

If you hear of a city where another god is worshiped, then destroy everyone in the city (even the cattle) and burn it down. (Watch out Salt Lake!) 13:12-16

 

If a betrothed virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough, then "the men of the city shall stone her to death." 22:23-24

 

Proverbs

 

Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14

 

If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out your eyeballs and the eagles will eat them. 30:17

 

Isaiah

 

God will make every man kill his brother and then force him to eat "the flesh of his own arm." 9:19-20

 

After God destroys Moab, the rivers will be red with blood. He will send lions to eat any survivors. 15:9

 

Jeremiah

 

God will make parents eat their own children, "and they shall eat everyone the flesh of his friend." 19:7-9

 

 

A child who hits or curses his parents must be executed. 21:15, 17

 

Leviticus

 

Those who break the Sabbath are to be executed. 31:14

 

If a man has sex with his father's wife, kill them both. 20:11

 

If a man "lies" with his daughter-in-law, then both must be killed. 20:12

 

If a man has sex with another man, kill them both. 20:13

 

Anyone who blasphemes or curses shall be stoned to death by the entire community. 24:16

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Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14

 

 

I dont have a bible handy, but this one sounds like you might be paraphrasing? Sounds good, though. I like it.

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What a team! In a matter of minutes we have successfully:

 

1. Identified a problem (TREETOAD feels guilty and needs punishment)

2. Identified a solution (knotzen will send someone over to punish TREETOAD)

3. Implemented the solution (Greta is on his way to Kapow!ie TREETOAD)

 

(Why, yes, I am in the process of updating my resume; why do you ask?)

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What a team! In a matter of minutes we have successfully:

 

1. Identified a problem (TREETOAD feels guilty and needs punishment)

2. Identified a solution (knotzen will send someone over to punish TREETOAD)

3. Implemented the solution (Greta is on his way to Kapow!ie TREETOAD)

 

(Why, yes, I am in the process of updating my resume; why do you ask?)

 

Would you like a letter of recommendation at at all?

Your facilition skills are excellent. Do you own a ball gag?

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Do you own a ball gag?

WTF is a ball gag? Do I need one?

 

it is a gag with a ball that goes in your mouth so you can't breath arround or threw it... commenly used by people into bondage and S&M and the such.

 

you can borrow mine if you like wink.gif

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Sweet, sweet Muffy.

 

One can, indeed, breath easily around the ball gag--that's why people buy them. Of course, if you are on a budget, you can tie a knot in the middle of a bandana , tie both ends together behind the slave's head, and that should suffice as an impromtu "ball gag". It's not as nice though, it soaks up saliva that could be used elsewhere.

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Sweet, sweet Muffy.

 

One can, indeed, breath easily around the ball gag--that's why people buy them. Of course, if you are on a budget, you can tie a knot in the middle of a bandana , tie both ends together behind the slave's head, and that should suffice as an impromtu "ball gag". It's not as nice though, it soaks up saliva that could be used elsewhere.

 

true you can breath arround it but it tough to work out of your mouth wink.gif

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