Uninitiate Complaints

[Dechristo]

In 1996 the staff at Bridger Wilderness Park in Wyoming posted some of the suggestions that had been returned to them by park visitors. Here are a few:

 

1. Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.

 

2. Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.

 

3. Please pave the trails so that they can be plowed of snow during the winter.

 

4. Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike them.

 

5. The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.

 

6. A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed?

 

7. Escalators would help on steep sections.

 

8. A McDonalds would be nice at the trailhead.

 

9. Too many rocks in the mountains.

[knotzen]

Well, I'm glad somebody spoke up about those things. Has the park service made any progress?

[slothrop]

8. A McDonalds would be nice at the trailhead.

 

Funding to be provided for this project through the Northwest Forest Pass.

[foraker]

I reckon plenty of dirtbags would take advantage of that on the way up to Snow Creek wall.

[catbirdseat]

Some of those "complaints" were meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but I bet some of them were sincere.

[Off_White]

8. A McDonalds would be nice at the trailhead.

 

Funding to be provided for this project through the Northwest Forest Pass.

 

[cook]

Those rocks in the mountains piss me off. They only get in the way of all the quality drainage climbing.

[Alpinfox]

Great questions asked of NPS staff:

In Alaska: Can you show me where the yeti lives? . . .How often do you mow the tundra? . . .How much does Mt McKinley weigh?

 

(While sea kayaking) What elevation are we at?

 

Yosemite National Park: Where are the cages for the animals? . . .What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls? . . .How long is the Two-Hour Valley Floor Tour? . . .You mean we came all this way out here to look at a bunch of rocks?

 

Grand Canyon: Do you light it up at night? When? . . .I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom - where is it? . . .Is the mule train air conditioned? . . .Are there dining cars on the mule train? . . . So where are the faces of the presidents? . . . Was this man made?

 

Yellowstone: Does Old Faithful erupt at night? . . .How do you turn it on? . . . When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep? . . .We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits? . . .When do deer turn into elk? . . . Can we eat this? (holding a handful of moose droppings) . . . Is there a Wal-Mart near here?

 

Mesa Verde National Park: Did people build this, or did Indians? . . .Why did the Indians build these ruins? . . .Why did they build the ruins so close to the road? . . .Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?

 

Carlsbad Caverns: So what's in the unexplored part of the cave? . . Does it ever rain in here? . . .So what is this - just a hole in the ground? . . .Why don't you fix all the drips/leaks? . . .Where's the entrance to the elevator?

 

Paluxy River dinosaur site: (Father to son) You know Billy, these dinosaur footprints are hundreds of years old? . . .I know dinosaurs were heavy, but I never dreamed they could punch footprints like this in solid rock!

 

Everglades: Are the alligators real? . . . Where are all the rides? . . .What time does the two o'clock bus leave?

[Chaps]

Whoa! 4 of those questions are from me! Geez...doesn't anyone else ask questions?

[JAFO]

I had a friend who was a tour guide in national park and one time he had a park visitor actually stop on the trail where the cement ended and say "I don't walk on dirt trails"

What an ass. I say to hotels and cement trails in our national parks.

[JAFO]

This post reminds me of that whole Squamish gondola thing.

Oh, and the NPS trying to put hotels and housing on top of camp 4. Anyone notice all the cement still in the campgrounds now closed in yosemite? Nice conservation NPS!