Scott_J Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- ! I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? ! They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double_E Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 kinda reminds me of this one joke-email I got fairly recently ... i forget most of it but i think it was sort of an "instruction manual" on man ... written for women who might want to live with one. Can't find it right now... badly need to organize my email archives... but anyway, the best part was where it talked about toilet seat positions. it went something like: "Toilet seats. Some people need them up. Some people need them down. So if you don't find it in the position you need it in, change it accordingly. If you're a big girl or boy, you should know how to do so." Hilarious. Not to mention brilliant. Fortunately i haven't had to address this topic in recent history... my current GF doesn't have toilet seat issues... but one of these years this might come in handy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assmonkey Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 People with vaginas are cool! I have a penis, myself. - a s s m n k e y Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 You could always change your avatar name from assmonkey to asspussy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Q: Why did the woman cross the road? A: What the hell was she doing out of the house???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fredrogers Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 http://www.endangeredman.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonanon Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Better to have loved a short girl than never to have loved a tall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assmonkey Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 You could always change your avatar name from assmonkey to asspussy Dru, that is an excellent idea, since ass and pussy are two of my favorite things to stick my penis into! (Monkey is a distant third.) Thanks, you are a genius! - a s s p s s e y Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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