icegirl Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 These pictures remind me of a joke... So John Kerry is walking by a supermarket one day, and sees a little girl with a box full of puppies... Not being one to miss chance at a photo op, he goes up to her... Kerry: "my, what cute puppies!" girl replies "Yes, and did you know, they are all democrats, every last one of them..." Kerry is loving this, next week, he grabs Ted Kennedy, saying "I gotta show you this!!" They arrive at the grocery store, same girl, same box of puppies... Kerry says "So, how are your puppies this week?" girl "well, they are extra cute this week, do you want one?", Kerry: "so, if your puppies could vote, who would they vote for?" (he elbows Kennedy, winking) girl: "well, these puppies are republican, so I guess that answers your question..." Kerry: (confused) "But just last week, you yourself told me they were democrats!" Girl: "yes, but this week their eyes are open...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double_E Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icegirl Posted November 27, 2004 Author Share Posted November 27, 2004 Sorry, I couldn't resist... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairweather Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 ...and I hear Democratic puppies have a difficult time giving up the teat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 Did you rewrite that one yourself icegirl? LOL I like it either way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icegirl Posted November 27, 2004 Author Share Posted November 27, 2004 yeah, I couldn't remember the exact joke, but it's pretty close Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klenke Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 Good one, IG. Poor DE doesn't have a sense of humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double_E Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 gotta sense of humor for puppy pics... but not for stoopid jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icegirl Posted November 27, 2004 Author Share Posted November 27, 2004 unfortunately that's the only kind of joke i know At least I have lots of puppy pictures.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MollyWorld Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle things. The candidate who catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote and cold lake in Wisconsin. There were to be no observers present and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification. At the end of the first day, George W. returns to the headquarters and he has 10 fish. Soon, Kerry, who has answers to everything, but no plan, returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day. At the end of the 2nd day George W. comes in with 20 fish and Kerry comes in again with none. That evening, Bill Clinton gets together secretly with Kerry and says, "I think George W. is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way. The next night (after George W. comes back with 50 fish), Clinton says to Kerry, "Well, what about it, is George W. cheatin?" "He sure is, Bill, he's cutting holes in the ice." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foraker Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 Reaching across the aisle there are we MW? Must be that new Republican plan: "We are ALL Americans. Except for you, and you, and that weirdo in the beanie over there, that guy over there next to the tree, and...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 There was a much married woman who walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. "Well", replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type of dress are you looking for?" The bride to be said:, "A long frilly white dress with a veil." The sales clerk didn't know quite what to say but she finally said, "Frankly, madam, gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean?" "Well" replied the customer, more than a little put out. "I can assure you that I am as innocent as the rest of them. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as any first time bride." "You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into a terrible fight in the limo on our way to the reception and have not spoken since. We had that wedding annulled immediately." "What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk. "Well" said the woman, "he was a Democrat and every night for four years he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboy Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 yeah, I couldn't remember the exact joke, but it's pretty close Actually I was reffering to the first time I heard the joke, it was George W. Bush, and not John Kerry... Like I said, it works... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 Reaching across the aisle there are we MW? Must be that new Republican plan: "We are ALL Americans. Except for you, and you, and that weirdo in the beanie over there, that guy over there next to the tree, and...." Yeah, that reminds me that after gays are further marginalized through a constitutional amendment, the President will introduce legislation to proclaim a national skin color: There's a lot of people in the world who don't believe that people whose skin color may not be the same as ours can be free and self-govern. I reject that. I reject that strongly. I believe that people who practice the Muslim faith can self-govern. I believe that people whose skins aren't necessarily -- are a different color than white can self-govern. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 the President will introduce legislation to proclaim a national skin color the election is over pope, you can stop making things up now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icegirl Posted November 28, 2004 Author Share Posted November 28, 2004 Hey now, that has nothing to do with "how would the puppy vote"... Sno, strangely enough, I'd not heard it with the Bush variant Go figure... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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