JGowans Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Drivel Has this election finally bottomed out? How much more drivel can voters stand? What about the policies? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Look scotsman, everyone knows the ability to drive a swift boat is crucial for a productive stay in the oval office. Get in the boat (a swift one, preferably) or get out commie. How many swift boats have you been in? I thought so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 In case your reading comprehension is lacking let me explain with pictures: Here's the commute in DC in the morning: And here it is in the evening: GET IT? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGowans Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Bush Bought Jim Beam in 1978 Crawford, TX. A Crawford, TX man claims that incumbent president George Bush entered his grocery store in July, 1978 and bought a bottle of Jim Beam before driving off in a pickup truck. Chip Dawson, 71, says that Bush simply sauntered in, pondered over a bottle of Jack Daniels or Jim Beam before plumping for the cheaper Jim Beam, paid for it with cash, bade him a good day, tipped his cowboy hat and then walked out of the store. Democrats claim that this latest report confirms Bush’s questionable decision making abilities and his unsuitability to be president. Democratic spokesman, Phil Johnson remarked, “Clearly this incident reveals a disturbing pattern of indecision on the part of the president. Any man that has to think twice about his whisky is certainly not one that will resonate with the voters. I think that come November, the voters will consider this and other like issues when it comes time to cast their ballot. Do they want someone who is strong and vigorous like Senator Kerry, or do they want someone that obviously has trouble with even simple decisions, let alone complex ones such as Iraq and the economy?” Scott McLellan, Republican spokesperson sought to clarify President Bush’s thought process that day by remarking, “That president Bush weighed the two options in a logical manner based upon each liquor’s merits is a testament to this man’s compassion for seeing both sides of the coin. He made his decision. He made it quickly and he hasn’t looked back since. The President is an optimist and I’m sure the voters will recognize that.” Recent polls suggest that voters are evenly split on this issue - 49% say that they favor Bush’s handling of what’s already being labeled “liquorgate” while 51% say they disapprove. AP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 That's classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGowans Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 I wouldn't be surprised if we see even more banal reports that trump my little creative reporting. It's so stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Yes, it is stupid, but GO FORBID we actually force the 2 fuckheads running for president discuss something that's actually a big fucking deal to us, like the mounting national debt and who the fuck is going to pay for all the baby boomers that have been promised social security. Oh and the fact that it's getting harder and harder for folks to find a job that doesn't require a name tag or a hair net. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Certainly says a lot about journalistic standards these days when this is all the press drivel we hear for weeks on end. Good republican strategy however, to keep the conversation off the real problems. I'm gettin' a headache. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg_W Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Bush Bought Jim Beam in 1978 Crawford, TX. A Crawford, TX man claims that incumbent president George Bush entered his grocery store in July, 1978 and bought a bottle of Jim Beam before driving off in a pickup truck. Chip Dawson, 71, says that Bush simply sauntered in, pondered over a bottle of Jack Daniels or Jim Beam before plumping for the cheaper Jim Beam, paid for it with cash, bade him a good day, tipped his cowboy hat and then walked out of the store. Democrats claim that this latest report confirms Bush’s questionable decision making abilities and his unsuitability to be president. Democratic spokesman, Phil Johnson remarked, “Clearly this incident reveals a disturbing pattern of indecision on the part of the president. Any man that has to think twice about his whisky is certainly not one that will resonate with the voters. I think that come November, the voters will consider this and other like issues when it comes time to cast their ballot. Do they want someone who is strong and vigorous like Senator Kerry, or do they want someone that obviously has trouble with even simple decisions, let alone complex ones such as Iraq and the economy?” Scott McLellan, Republican spokesperson sought to clarify President Bush’s thought process that day by remarking, “That president Bush weighed the two options in a logical manner based upon each liquor’s merits is a testament to this man’s compassion for seeing both sides of the coin. He made his decision. He made it quickly and he hasn’t looked back since. The President is an optimist and I’m sure the voters will recognize that.” Recent polls suggest that voters are evenly split on this issue - 49% say that they favor Bush’s handling of what’s already being labeled “liquorgate” while 51% say they disapprove. AP. Let me guess, Ted Kennedy was the Democrat's expert on the subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 heh...hehehah...hahahahaBWAHAHAHA! a fresh, innovative, and undeniably hilarious rejoinder from GregW! Kennedy! what a twist! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 He'd be a good choice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGowans Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 Kerry Farts in Public Republicans today accused Senator John Kerry of farting in public. Democrats vigorously refuted the allegations. Democratic spokesman, John Doe says, “The right wing faction in our political tapestry appear hell bent on deflecting criticism from President Bush by any means necessary. To suggest that Senator Kerry farted in public is slanderous. Everyone who knows Senator Kerry can vouch that after a spicy curry or a heaping of baked beans, he’s the first to pardon his momentary absence to perform some minor ablutions and take care of pending flatulence.” Scott McLellan, Republican Spokesman, responded by implying that Senator Kerry’s apparent stink bomb is yet another reason for voters to side with President Bush, “Once again, Senator Kerry has given voters a reason to doubt his capacity to be Commander in Chief. Knowing that a fart was on its way, he could have simply excused himself and taken care of it quietly. However, he chose to let it rip in public much to the consternation of those standing by. This merely highlights Senator Kerry’s blatant disregard for the common man and is a striking metaphor for his policies to come if he were ever elected.” A recent Zogby poll suggests that older voters find this latest issue to be unfavorable to Senator Kerry while younger voters tend to favor Senator Kerry’s laissez faire attitude to bodily functions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fejas Posted September 1, 2004 Share Posted September 1, 2004 Ah, the dirty mac at it again.... Something touches home though talkin bout buyin cheap whisky and jumpin in a beat up pickup truck..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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