jjd Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Shit List (partial): Creamy Thumb shit This shit explodes out of your ass with such a creamy texture , that no matter how carefully you wipe the target area, your thumb gets creamed with it ! Titanium Terd This shit does hurt and will cause a bloody lip from biting it, but the thing that is different with this log is that when you flush it wont fold into itself and flush away. It stays there undamaged like titanium. You flush again but the stubborn bastard won't budge. After swearing up a storm, you pull out your trusty plunger(excalibur) and beat the hell out of it till it looks like coco puffs.Its now safe to proceed and you won't have the care of checking back to see if it left or not. Commando Shit Its the type of shit that is kinda two-toned with a dark green /brown mix. Usually you get this the next day after eating at the Soup Plantation, which features an all you can eat soup and salad buffet.Talk about getting your vitamins and minerals. Whiskey shit Whiskey diet gives no warning. Just a very loud splatter that paints the bowl a brown paisley. Very alarming to visitors in public washrooms. The HYDROGEN BOMB shit You have all had it. You eat a big-ass bowl of ice cream or a whole lot of something that is dairy. A little while later you start having farts that burn and hurt like fucking hell. These are the kind THAT WILL STAY IN THE AIR FOR ABOUT AN HOUR OR MORE without losing there potentcy very much. You start to hear your body growl really fucking loud. LOUDER THAN IT HAS EVER GROWLED BEFORE. Almost as though it is saying "fuck you". You then develop an immense indescribable overwhelming sensation of pain. You are in THE MOST PAIN THAT YOU HAVE EVER BEEN IN DURING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. You rush to the mighty porcelian god and rip your pants off as fast as you can. You push slighty and what do you hear? The sound of YOUR ASS SPEWING SHIT WITH SUCH VELOCITY IT FILLS THE ENTIRE TOILET UP,AND A STENCH EXACTLY AS BAD AS THE FARTS THAT BURNT YOUR ASS EARLIER. THEN YOU HEAR THE TOILET FINALLY DRAINING THE WATER AUTOMATICALLY (AS A TOILET WILL NOT STAY ALL THE WAY FULL). YOU ARE STILL IN THE MOST INDESCRIBABLE PAIN OF YOUR LIFE. YOU WAIT A FEW MINUTES......................................the pain is gone. You get up to wipe your smelly filthy disgusting ass, when all of a sudden SHIT SPEWS OUT OF YOUR FILTHY ASS all against the walls, ceiling the bathtub and the sink, it goes everywhere and smells so terrible. YOU FRANTICALLY TRY AND CLEAN IT UP BUT THE PAIN IS TOO INTENSE YOU RUSH BACK TO THE CRAPPER AND BLOW THE REST OF YOUR LOAD. You pause for a few minutes to catch your breath. You have blown your entire shitload. You really and truly feel many times lighter than you did before. You wipe your ass and frantically try to clean the bathroom. The stench is overwhelming and you are not able to get all the shit out of all the little cracks and crevices of the baseboard and other areas. You later find that your shit has perminantly stained the wallpaper, ceiling and shower curtain. The stench remains in the bathroom for days as you have someone put new wall paper in the bathroom. It takes about a month for the stench to completley clear (it got into all those cracks and crevacises). Whilst telling the wallpaper guy how your "Dr. Pepper fizzed up and exploded thus causing the stain" he turns to you winks and says "sssuuuurre you did" (because he knows it happens to all of us). The 'Why Now?' Shit Long, brown and green, Pleasently plump, smelly. A (un)healthy smell lingers when your date comes to the door. The Cliff-Hanger 2003 You know that small teardrop shaped piece of shit thats left behind clinging to your butthole. It tickles and the feeling of it gives you shivers, so you bounce up and down on the toilet while spreading your buttcheeks to get it to drop. Hairball Shit (Shitball) Attention: The longer you leave this Shit unattended, the larger it grows over time. This one is the accumulation of all your shitting efforts over a reasonable period of time. It collects in your of ass hair and hardens up, forming a knotted 'ball' of shit. You usually become aware of it after scratching an ass itch. Toilet paper won't do the trick. It's time to get the scissors out. Ouch! Mardi Gras Shit This one comes out as a brilliant combination of Green, Yellow, and Purple. The reason why shit. Why is shit tapered on one end? So you asshole doesn't slam shut! Jigsaw Shit The type of shit where you look down before flushing and think "how does it get put back together?" What da fuck is dat? shit The type of shit where you look down before flushing, and think "hmm, I didn't have corn for dinner!" Cherry Bomb Shit The type of shit that looks like cherry bombs. They make a "ploop-ing" sound when they hit the water. They have no smell. Nerds Shit When your shit looks like the candy nerds you buy at the local corner store. Kodak Shit The kind so big you have to snap a shot to show your buddies The Slick Bottom The kind of shit where nothing is coming out for so long you discover your ass is sweating. Prairie dog shit The shit that sticks out of your ass so much the tip is dry when it falls in the toilet. Bobber Shit The type of shit that is so incredibly dense that no matter how many times you flush it will stil stay afloat. The only to get this one down is to use a plunger, and even then it's kinda hard. torture chamber shit The kind of shit that is so painful when it comes out that one would get the impression that s/he were in a torture chamber of some sort. The best way to identify this type of shit is to check whether or not when you get up if you can still walk normally. If it hurts to walk in a typical fashion, then woe is you. You have experienced the torture chamber shit. Have a nice day. Baseball Shit A very rare type of shit, it usually comes from being doubled over for an extended period of time and comes out in almost the exact size and shape as a baseball In the dark shit A shit that hurts so much, that after it comes out you'll go blind a few seconds. Spontanius Combustion Shit After a long nights Curry'ing then home for a sleep only to be woken by an expolosion and bloodcurling yell. Facist Shit The type of shit that's perfecty elliptical and is usually followed by 2 or more perfectly elliptical shits which are followed by 2 more perfectly elliptical shits followed by an akwardly shaped shit that often remains lodged in your butthole. Bulimic shit The type of shit that happens the morning after a long night of vomiting and is often bloody because you've torn your esophagus puking so damn much. jimmy page shit Send this description to a friend! The kind of shit that looks like a guitar The Milli Vanilli Shit The kind of shit that gives the toilet paper grammy back by plugging the toliet. http://www.the-big-shit-list.com/ A poop poem: You'll rejoice at how many kinds of shit there are: gosling shit (which J. Williams said something was as green as), fish shit (the generality), trout shit, rainbow trout shit (for the nice), mullet shit, sand dab shit, casual sloth shit, elephant shit (awesome as process or payload), wildebeest shit, horse shit (a favorite), caterpillar shit (so many dark kinds, neatly pelleted as mint seed), baby rhinoceros shit, splashy jaybird shit, mockingbird shit (dive-bombed with the aim of song), robin shit that oozes white down lawnchairs or down roots under roosts, chicken shit and chicken mite shit, pelican shit, gannet shit (wholesome guano), fly shit (periodic), cockatoo shit, dog shit (past catalog or assimilation), cricket shit, elk (high plains) shit, and tiny scribbled little shrew shit, whale shit (what a sight, deep assumption), mandril shit (blazing blast off), weasel shit (wiles' waste), gazelle shit, magpie shit (total protein), tiger shit (too acid to contemplate), moral eel and manta ray shit, eerie shark shit, earthworm shit (a soilure), crab shit, wolf shit upon the germicidal ice, snake shit, giraffe shit that accelerates, secretary bird shit, turtle shit suspension invites, remora shit slightly in advance of the shark shit, hornet shit (difficult to assess), camel shit that slaps the ghastly dry siliceous, frog shit, beetle shit, bat shit (the marmoreal), contemptible cat shit, penguin shit, hermit crab shit, prairie hen shit, cougar shit, eagle shit (high totem stuff), buffalo shit (hardly less lofty), otter shit, beaver shit (from the animal of alluvial dreams)—a vast ordure is a broken down cloaca—macaw shit, alligator shit (that floats the Nile along), louse shit, macaque, koala, and coati shit, antelope shit, chuck-will's-widow shit, alpaca shit (very high stuff), gooney bird shit, chigger shit, bull shit (the classic), caribou shit, rasbora, python, and razorbill shit, scorpion shit, man shit, laswing fly larva shit, chipmunk shit, other-worldly wallaby shit, gopher shit (or broke), platypus shit, aardvark shit, spider shit, kangaroo and peccary shit, guanaco shit, dolphin shit, aphid shit, baboon shit (that leopards induce), albatross shit, red-headed woodpecker (nine inches long) shit, tern shit, hedgehog shit, panda shit, seahorse shit, and the shit of the wasteful gallinule http://www.poetryconnection.net/poets/A.R._Ammons/8070 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-rock Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I had the honor of looking at this first Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thadsboner Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 what about the dual density dookies. the ones where half the turds in the tank float and the other half of the turds sink how do they do that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double_E Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 what about the dual density dookies. the ones where half the turds in the tank float and the other half of the turds sink how do they do that ahh, the wonders of intra-corporeal technology... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 This thread ain't worth a shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assmonkey Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Poop is cool. - a s s m n k e y Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 What about when you find a heart shaped piece of corn in your poo? Wassat called? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selkirk Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 It's a miracle, and you should be giving thanks to the good Rev. Falwell....... Oh wait a minute, was that out loud? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bird Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 What about when you find a heart shaped piece of corn in your poo? Wassat called? That's just your cornhole expressing love to you for feeding it a gerbil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Nothing inspires the imagination of the cc.com sprayers like a poo thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selkirk Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Taken by yours truly (Cascadeclimber). mmmmmm, poo and slugs! Does it get any better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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