willstrickland Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE, New York 2004 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance 6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment) 6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing 6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment 7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong 7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner. 8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next 8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children 8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only) 8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future 9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man" 9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong 9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings 10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas 10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho 10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare 10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong 10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A drain on our nation's economy. 11:10 PM Hillary Clinton piZata 11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult 11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again. 11:35 PM Blame Clinton 11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies 11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself 12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlpineK Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willstrickland Posted May 27, 2004 Author Share Posted May 27, 2004 I like this one best: EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlpineK Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 It takes fuel to start a fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeezix Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Unless it's interrupted by the big expected terrorist attack... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Jackpot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Interesting, the announcement of those possible terror attacks. I'm not saying that they aren't based on actual information, but they will certainly allow "additional security" to keep protesters away from the RNC (and the DNC) as well as the G8 in Georgia. Tinfoil, anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 That's what I was thinking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.