johnny_destiny Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART I What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan. SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING UP!) What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great Stuff) Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong" What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides. Quote
chelle Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 Johnny - those are too funny to be offensive. Quote
fredrogers Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 ehmmic said: Johnny - those are too funny to be offensive. Try this one: Father O'mally is walking down the street and sees Father George walking his way. When he gets closer, he notices that Father George has a pair of boy's underpants wrapped around his arm. "Why Father George, for the Lord's sake, do you have a pair of boys underpants wrapped around your arm" asks Father O'mally. "Why, I'm on the patch." replies Father George. Quote
Harry_Pi Posted December 6, 2003 Posted December 6, 2003 Hello capitalist! You think you funny, try being chinese for a day. Thank you for allow asian to post on american website. Quote
Dutch Posted December 7, 2003 Posted December 7, 2003 "I went into the market where all the commies shop I pulled out my machete and I began to chop I went into the woods where all the commies hide pulled out my flame thrower flame thrower fried." For Harry Pi... My favorite cold war slogan "Zap a g@#* for god and kill a commie for Christ" I will write "Napalm Sticks to Kids" only on request Quote
Harry_Pi Posted December 7, 2003 Posted December 7, 2003 Hello capitalist! 101st say "Cac tao bu ne con" Thank you for allow oriental to post. Quote
Dutch Posted December 7, 2003 Posted December 7, 2003 Harry_Pi said: Hello capitalist! 101st say "Cac tao bu ne con" Thank you for allow oriental to post. HELLO COMMIE WITH BAD TASTE, Bist due einie "Screaming Eagle?" Quote
Harry_Pi Posted December 7, 2003 Posted December 7, 2003 Hello Dutch! No, just a chicken head. Thank you for allow oriental to post. Quote
minx Posted December 7, 2003 Posted December 7, 2003 dutch, those lyrics are just plain tasteless Quote
scrambler Posted December 7, 2003 Posted December 7, 2003 Talking about tasteless. How about some of the gift items offered at the 12 Days of Kitschmas ( Ship of Fools: the Magazine of Christian Unrest ). Here's an example of their fine wares: "As everyone knows, God hates fags. So isn't it time you got the message? Maybe you've tried everything. Hypnosis, nicotine patches, ultra-ultra lights, coughing in tongues. Well, how about the ultimate aversion therapy? Just gaze into the bearded face and tear-rimmed eyes of the one who has been successfully inducing guilt for centuries. And pray the Penitent Smoker's Prayer: "Jesus, gimme a light, willya?" Disclaimer: The above entry is an attempt at tasteless humor. Don't take it personally. Quote
Dutch Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 minx said: dutch, those lyrics are just plain tasteless Show me a world with taste....and I will still bring out its Vulgarity Quote
minx Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 Dutch said: minx said: dutch, those lyrics are just plain tasteless Show me a world with taste....and I will still bring out its Vulgarity well at least you've recognized your own personal special talent. Quote
Cpt.Caveman Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 Nice cadence tunes. It's been a while but they are refreshing Dutch. Quote
Dru Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 "I got some new climbing gear for my wife. Nice trade eh?" Quote
Cpt.Caveman Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 Let's get offensive: Pee in da butt. Quote
lummox Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't. some of us can be offensive without trying. Quote
Wopper Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 (edited) Ahhh the old cadence tunes: Going to the school where the hippies all learn Call in some napalm and watch them all burn Going to the park where the kiddies all play Daisy chain some claymores and blow them all away Harry Pi you should change your name to Shaved Pi. Edited December 8, 2003 by Wopper Quote
catbirdseat Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 The Vatican Rag First you get down on your knees, Fiddle with your rosaries, Bow your head with great respect, And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect! Do whatever steps you want, if You have cleared them with the Pontiff. Everybody say his own Kyrie eleison, Doin' the Vatican Rag. Get in line in that processional, Step into that small confessional, There’s, the guy who's got religional Tell you if your sin's original. If it is, try playin' it safer, Drink the wine and chew the wafer, Two, four, six, eight, Time to transubstantiate! So get down upon your knees, Fiddle with your rosaries, Bow your head with great respect, And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect! Make a cross on your abdomen, When in Rome do like a Roman, Ave Maria, Gee it's good to see ya, Gettin' ecstatic an' Sort of dramatic an' Doin' the Vatican Rag! Quote
Off_White Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 trask said: push me I don't even have to listen to it to add: "probably not while you are at work." Quote
allthumbs Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 no it's cool - go ahead pilgrims, push it Quote
lummox Posted December 8, 2003 Posted December 8, 2003 trask said: no it's cool - go ahead pilgrims, push it hard to dance to. Quote
Harry_Pi Posted December 13, 2003 Posted December 13, 2003 Wopper said: Harry Pi you should change your name to Shaved Pi. Hello capitalist! Only if you change you name to whopper junior. Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.