Beck Posted January 7, 2002 Posted January 7, 2002 "The Adventures of Teddy and Oprah in Kazhakstan" -coming soon!!! Quote
pope Posted January 8, 2002 Posted January 8, 2002 START OVER! Don't even go there, girlfren. That is so not funny. I'm thinking Oprah would make a pretty good bouldering pad, and a guy would only look half as goofy carrying her around on his back. But Oprah on the Big Wall? Forgetaboutit. You couldn't pack her lunch in a Grade VII A5 bag...how the hell are you going to feed her on the big stone? Quote
Dwayner Posted January 8, 2002 Author Posted January 8, 2002 In another topic, the enigmatic RURP came up with a spendid idea: "I would like to take Oprah on a Big Wall. This would require an extra large haul bag for her food but it would be good exercise. Maybe if she was kept busy jugging and belaying she would not talk so much. She is a smart woman so I think she could learn some of the things, BUT I WILL NOT TEACH HER HOW TO USE THE PVC POO-PIPE AND I WILL NOT SHARE MY PORTALEDGE! I think maybe this could be something for all of the new climbers who have run out of things to distinguish themselves. So now they can try to do the "First Oprah Ascent" of the Tooth, or the "First Oprah Ascent" of The Nose or whatever fancy climb they think that will make them famous. (I would share my portaledge with Sally Raphael. She is not unattractive for an older woman.)" Dang! That's brilliant! First I'd take her out to Index and let her do a few laps on City Park, then to the Upper Wall to do the Town Crier (we'd pause at Big Honker Ledge for some doughnuts and twinkies), and then who knows...maybe Nameless Tower up in the Karakorum! Heck yah! I'd teach her how to use "the tube" (although I'd need a custom 12 inch by 36 inch) and set up two double-ledges side by side secured with duct tape. My only concern would be that she would start spewing out unsolicited advice on subjects she knows nothing about....like climbing. On second thought...RURP's right...that Sally Raphael ain't too shabby. Get rid of them goofy red glasses, do a little something with that hair, give me a 12-pack of Mickey's and we're off to the Muir Wall! - Dwayner Quote
Wopper Posted January 8, 2002 Posted January 8, 2002 This one is funny shit. RURP - Will you do a hand check to make sure Oprah's leg straps are adjusted properly? Quote
Dru Posted January 8, 2002 Posted January 8, 2002 it would be funny walking into a big bookstore and seeing a bunch of guidebooks in the Oprah's Book club display. PS Anybody see the latest Weekly World News headline? "CLINTON HIRES 3-BREASTED INTERN" (with retouched photo showing said intern on Bill's arm.) Sidebar says : Hillary shocked: "I thought he was a leg man" Quote
Dwayner Posted January 8, 2002 Author Posted January 8, 2002 Pope said: "I'm thinking Oprah would make a pretty good bouldering pad, and a guy would only look half as goofy carrying her around on his back." pope: What I see with that ignorant comment is a recipe for a back injury! How about Richard Simmons? He'd be a lot lighter and if you're lucky, he'll tickle you on the way out to the boulders and leave your beer alone. - Dwayner P.S. Anyone got Richard's phone number? Quote
Dru Posted January 8, 2002 Posted January 8, 2002 www.weeklyworldnews.com [ 01-08-2002: Message edited by: Dru ] Quote
allthumbs Posted January 8, 2002 Posted January 8, 2002 I'm thinking maybe Sexual Chocolate might like to take RuPaul up the big wall. Quote
Cpt.Caveman Posted January 9, 2002 Posted January 9, 2002 I am fatter than Oprah. She can send 5.9 watch out ! Quote
allthumbs Posted January 9, 2002 Posted January 9, 2002 This is the fatty I'd like to hurl off the big wall... Quote
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