King Beatard

Bill, thanks for the fun day climbing (and thanks to Jeff and Jim as well). A first ascent with good company and good climbing in good weather - life is sweet. Boadman, I'm not interested in Trango's splitter cams as they seem pretty universally disliked and although 2fer1 is enticing I'll side with general consensus on that one. As for a green alien sized 3CU, the sizing is slightly different with the alien being between the purple and the green DMM cams. I might be willing to go that route but what I was really looking for was the clean sweep trade without the hassle of piecing together a set from multiple sources (ie: lazy). That said I'd be willing to trade the purple 3CU from the bottom of the set leaving a fighting chance at swapping set for set with someone. Post a pic of your c3? Finian, $200 but I'd rather trade if I can

I have an almost unused set of 6 DMM 3CU's for sale or that I'd like to trade for a set of Black Diamond C3's. The 3CU's have been placed and played with but are essentially new. Light scratches on some of the lobes. Spectra extendo slings, very nicely anodized, full strength cam stops, lots of overlap between the sizes, and the largest size of TCU available (they call the red a 1 3/4"; I'd say that's a passively placed size assesment and a properly cammed red would fit up to about a 1 1/2"crack. Still a nice big TCU).

You might want to trail a second rope to simplify the rappel. I found more good hex placements than nut placements on this so you might want to bring them along as well.

pm on rambos

Hi Kenny. Took me 2 hours to read all this shit but I just discovered we got a beacon/bacon forum. SCORE! Who is that Pete H dumbfucker who keeps chiming in? His other avatar is Dirty Harry. and he's a plenty cool guy - he just likes to Hate On the Fabled Beacon-Wand So then its fair play to call Pete a doucher and their will be no hard feelings. That said I went to PRG tonight to give my atrophy stricken body a workout and ran into Jim and Hanmi. Jim says he's been working on a good post about the glorys of Oregon climbing. I can't wait.

Hi Kenny. Took me 2 hours to read all this shit but I just discovered we got a beacon/bacon forum. SCORE! Who is that Pete H dumbfucker who keeps chiming in?

The route in the first pic is "41 feet of pain". Ironic that Kenny got hit by a rock on what I think was the second (and probably most recent) ascent. Anybody else bother climbing in the arena of pleasure? I could go clean those routes off in hopes that they might get climbed, but all I would be doing is "tilling the soil" for more moss and choss to propagate. Oh Seattle, how we hate you.

tie a loop of webbing onto the daisy chain and voila, ice axe loop!

I'm interested in the Z's in the middle photo, are those Leepers's?

I don't need anything fancy. My boots only have a ridge in the rear for fitting crampons so the front needs to be a strap-on style. Next weekend I'm looking to toprope on the Elliot glacier and I think my aluminum crampons might not be the ticket. Maybe somebody has a lonely pair or pile of pairs in the basement? I'm looking to spend less than $20. Might be interested in some well loved tools too, but will probably wait to buy tools until I've been out a few times. pm if you've got anything. Thanks, Adam.

Well, no. Here's the late Brutus of Wydes climbing disclaimer I should Vulcan mind meld the two. Don't forget to have fun! "WARNING!! ALL INDIVIDUALS USING, REFERRING TO, TALKING ABOUT, OR THINKING ABOUT THIS TOPO MUST READ THIS!!! This inaccurate topo is based on dim recollections, half-baked guesses, and outright lies. In NO WAY does it tell the full story. You would probably be better off just trying to find your own way up the mountain, than you would be if you used this topo. But that statement in no way implies that I am in any way responsible if you don't use the topo, and something bad happens anyway. Nature is unpredictable and unsafe. Mountains are dangerous. Many books have been written about these dangers, and there's no way I can list them all here. Read the books. The area depicted by this topo is covered in steep terrain with loose, slippery and unstable footing. The weather can make matters worse. Sheer drops are everywhere. You may fall, be injured or die. There are hidden holes. You could break your leg. There are wild animals, which may be vicious, poisonous, hungry or carriers of dread diseases. These may include poisonous amphibians, reptiles, and insects; insects to which you have allergies, or whose multiple stings can cause anaphylactic shock; mammals which may include skunks, badgers, marmots, lions, tigers, and bears; predatory birds, and all other manner of beasts. Plants can be poisonous as well, and even when not poisonous, can inflict serious injury like a sharp stick in the eye. This topo, and the author of this topo, will not do anything to protect you from any of this. I do not inspect, supervise or maintain the ground, rocks, cliffs, wildlife, vegetation or other features, natural or otherwise. Real dangers are present even on approach trails. Trails are not sidewalks, and folks have died and been seriously injured even on sidewalks when they have tripped on cracked concrete, plunged into meter boxes with missing covers, been mugged, hit by cars, had pianos fall on them... Trails can be, and are, steep, slippery and dangerous. Trail features made or enhanced by humans, such as bridges, steps, walls and railings (if any) can break, collapse, or otherwise fail catastrophically at any time. I don't promise to inspect, supervise or maintain them in any way. They may be negligently constructed or repaired. Some trails in the area are only maintained by Nelson Bighorn Sheep, who have little regard for human life or human safety, or any humans whatsoever. In summary, trails are unsafe, period. Live with it or stay away. Stay on the trails whenever possible. The terrain, in addition to being dangerous, is surprisingly complex. You may get lost. You probably WILL get lost. The chances of getting lost multiply geometrically after the sun goes down, due to poor visibility. The sun goes down at least once a day in this area. Not to say that you won't get lost during daylight hours. In either event, carry a flashlight, extra bulb and batteries, compass, GPS, altimeter, cellular phone, food, water, matches and first aid supplies at all times. My advising you of this does not mean there are not other things you should be carrying. Carry them all as well, and know how to use them. I am not responsible for the consequences if you fail to heed this advice. In fact, I am not responsible for the consequences even if you DO heed this advice and, for example, end up in an unplanned bivy because you were carrying too much g*dd@mnstuff, stumble into the bivy fire at 2 am when you get up to take a p!ss, and severely burn the flesh on your hands. You have only yourself to blame, so leave me out of it. Rocks and other objects can, and probably will, fall from the cliffs. They can tumble down slopes. This can happen naturally, or be caused by people above you, such as climbers. Rocks of all sizes, including huge boulders, can shift, move or fall with no warning. If you don't believe me check out the talus slopes at the base of some of the rock walls. They didn't just grow there. Use of helmets is advised for anyone approaching the rock formations. As a matter of fact, approaching the rock formations is not advised. That is pretty stupid too. But if you DO choose to risk your worthless scrawny neck by going near rocks, shoulder pads, knee pads, elbow pads, athletic cups and supporters and other body armor may be handy as well. These items can be purchased or rented from mountaineering shops and athletic supply stores. They won't save you if you get hit by or scrape against something big or on another part of your body. A whole rock formation might collapse on you leave nothing but a grease spot. Don't think it can't happen. It does, and it probably will. Weather can be dangerous, regardless of the forecast. Be prepared with extra clothing, including rain gear. Hypothermia, heat stroke, dehydration, frostbite, lightning, ice and snow, runoff from rainstorms, flashfloods, etc. can kill you. Rain can turn easy terrain into a deathtrap, can drown you if you're looking up into the sky with your mouth open, and vastly decreases traction on pavement. Snow is even worse, the hazards ranging from snowball fight injuries to avalanches. If you scramble in high places (scrambling is moving over terrain steep enough to use your hands) without proper experience, training and equipment, or allow children to do so, you are making a terrible mistake. Even if you know what you're doing and are the most experienced and safest climber the world has ever known, you are still making a terrible mistake: lots of things can and do go wrong and you may be injured or die. It happens all the time. Furthermore, scrambling amongst the huge boulders in this canyon, even without exposure of high places, can result in serious physical and/or emotional injury, or death. This area, and this route, are not provided with any rangers or security personnel on any regular basis. The other people in the area, including other visitors, USFS employees, foreign agents, biologists and nature freaks, and anyone else who might sneak in, may be stupid, reckless, a religious fanatic, or otherwise dangerous. They may be mentally ill, criminally insane, drunk, using illegal drugs and/or armed with deadly weapons and ready to use them. I'm not going to do anything about that. I refuse to take responsibility. Excessive consumption of alcohol, use of prescription drugs, over-the-counter medications, and/or legal or illegal controlled substances while frequenting this area can and probably will affect your mental state, alertness, and decision-making abilities, and could make an already dangerous situation even worse. Even abstinence won't protect you from the actions of others under the influence of such substances. Tough luck. Not my fault. The driveways, freeways, highways, streets, alleys, back roads and unimproved 4WD tracks leading to this area kill hundreds of folks each year. Many of these fatalities are folks who aren't even on their way to this canyon, who in fact have never heard of this canyon, but are simply innocent victims. Not so you. You have been warned. You could get killed driving to the trailhead. Wearing your seatbelt tightly fastened with the lap belt low across your waist improves your chances of survival, in most cases (except that one steep section of road) but does not and cannot guarantee your safety. You might die before ever stepping out of your vehicle at the trailhead, or on the way home. It can happen any time. If you think you are immune from this kind of thing, you're fooling yourself. This is not a sterile environment. Bacteria, viruses, protozoa, protoviruses, fungi and other forms of life and protolife which may or may not be currently included in either the plant or animal kingdom are capable of causing you serious bodily harm, illness, or death. These kinds of biological agents are both endemic in the area or present in the plant and animal populations; and are also capable of being carried or transmitted by your climbing partners and traveling companions. I'm not going to take responsibility for this, either. My advice for you to treat drinking water, wash your hands before and after going to the bathroom and before eating, and to not indulge in unprotected sex in this area, in no way obligates me to be responsible for the consequences if you fail to do so, nor does it mean that even if you DO take these precautions and something happens anyway, that I am to blame. Not so. Forget it. Nada. Negativo. If you climb, you may die or be seriously injured. And the longer you climb the greater your risk of bad luck, which may or may not be compounded by hubris, catching up to you. This is true whether you are experienced or not, trained or not, and equipped or not, though training, experience and equipment may help. It's a fact, climbing is extremely dangerous. If you don't like it, stay at home. You really shouldn't be doing it anyway. I do not provide supervision or instruction. I am not responsible for, and do not inspect or maintain, climbing anchors (including bolts, pitons, slings, trees, etc.) As far as I know, any of them can and probably will suddenly fail without warning and send you plunging to your death with a bloodcurdling scream, likely pulling your partner to his or her doom as well. There are countless tons of loose rock ready to be dislodged and fall on you or someone else. There are any number of inobvious, extremely and unusually dangerous conditions existing on and around the rocks, and elsewhere in the canyon. I probably don't know about any specific hazard, but even if I do, don't expect this topo or its author to try to warn you. You're on your own. Furthermore, the fact that I'm not trying to stop you from being in this area in no way implies, nor should it be inferred, that I approve, recommend, advocate, or otherwise in any way affirm that such action on your part is anything but incredibly stupid. Rescue services are not provided by anyone near this climb, and may not be available quickly or at all. In fact, if anything really serious happens to you in this area, you'll probably be dead before word ever reaches civilization. Local rescue squads may not be equipped for or trained in mountain rescue. They probably won't be. If you are lucky enough to have somebody try to rescue you or treat your injuries, they will probably be incompetent or worse. This includes doctors and hospitals. I assume no responsibility. Also, if you decide to participate in a rescue of some other unfortunate, that's your choice. Don't do it unless you are willing to assume all risks, and don't blame me when it goes bad and you end up getting yourself sued in the process. By using, or even just looking at this topo, you are agreeing that I owe you no duty of care or any other duty, you agree to release me, my relatives, heirs, dependents, and anyone else I care to name, now and forevermore, from any and all claims of liability, even though my actions may be grossly negligent and/or be construed as reckless endangerment, manslaughter, or other misconduct up to and including premeditated murder. By consulting this topo, you agree to waive forever any rights that you, your partners, dependents, heirs, inlaws, and others known or unknown to you may have, to legal compensation resulting from anything that has anything to do with this topo, including but in no way limited to paper cuts from the edge of the topo itself. If you try to sue me in spite of all this, you agree to pay my lawyers fees regardless of the outcome of the suit, and you expressly agree to re-reimburse me for any loss or injury, be it financial, physical, emotional, or imagined, which I may experience as a result of such lawsuit. I promise you nothing. I do not and will not even try to keep the area safe for any purpose. The area is NOT safe for any purpose. This is no joke. I won't even try to warn about any dangerous or hazardous condition, whether I know about it or not. If I do decide to warn you about something, that doesn't mean I will try to warn you about anything else. If I do make an effort to fix an unsafe condition, I may not try to correct any others, and I may actually make matters worse! I may have done things in the area that are unwise and dangerous. I probably did, but I don't remember. Sorry, I'm neither competent nor responsible. The topo gives you bad advice. Don't listen. Or do listen. It's your choice, but you face the consequences either way, whatever they may be. In short, CLIMB AT YOUR OWN RISK. If you, or your heirs, relatives, dependents or others known or unknown to you; your partner or your partners heirs, relatives, dependents, or others known or unknown to your partner, are the slimy kind of lawyer-touting parasites who would try to sue the author of a topo, If you can't take responsibility for your own decisions, knowledge, routefinding and plain dumb luck, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stay far far away from this route and this canyon, give up climbing, and die of some completely natural, painful, and slowly progressive disease. Thank you, climb safe, and have fun! END of Disclaimer " ps, I think he forgot the part about the rope! You're an OK guy Drew, sometimes a tad snarky, so don't forget to tag a happy face on the end of your mean sounding posts or it comes off wrong to those who don't know you. Ok I used my morning coffee time to read this whole thing. It was quite funny. I didn't bother to read the first long one you posted as it didn't look as funny (but it might be). I might need a bigger coffee cup to read that one though. Thanks for the entertainment, your bill is being written up.

nonsense - you gonna be out at the big-b aiding w/ the brethern in the dank 2morrow? That sounds tempting, what you looking to get on?

Cheers. I appreciate you sending the work my way. And I'll drink to pride in perma-noob status. I can only aspire to a post so high in life.

Dude! I'm finally not a noob! Only took 1 year, 2 months, and a few days. Who wants to celebrate?

Bill, I usually read your posts. I bet it was actually funny, but could you do a Cliff Notes version for a lazy fucker like me? Just include the real gems. Thanks.

Dude that's BS - You used my #7 to build an anchor just a few months ago. and don't forget the aid traverse on the oh so scary .25 white tricam. (I use Bill Coe's idea to mark my gear - enamel model paint to mark all my metal, 2 colors, I make a green eye - big green blotch with a black pupil. Sometimes a climbing partner will bring me some random piece I didn't even know I lost - thanks dudes. Don't forget to mark your pitons as those fuckers all look alike.)

ROTFLMFAO!!! This is worth 4 1/2 minutes of your life!

These are both threads I started, do i get a cookie or something for that.

#7 All those bolts were put in by hand, as ALL bolts on the South side are supposed to be. In response to you misquoting me as saying the route is "perfect" - I SPECIFICALLY DID NOT SAY THAT. The route isn't supposed to be perfect, because in the real world, things aren't. No matter how hard you try, you cannot make them so. Grow from the way things are and you will become a safer more aware climber. Go to Yosemite and the imperfections found on Beacon might just save your life. (Reference Bill Coe) And finally, No you're perspective isn't "special" because you have the route wired - we all have it wired. The notion that you or I or any one of us gets to change the route to make it more to our liking is just wrong. If you want to change anything, you should out of respect and appreciation for Jim, do so ONLY with his blessing. I'm glad as Jim will be to hear you "don't intend to fuck with it"(Refer to Point #6)

Bill got good nuts in that I saw on my way up (we changed leaders mid-pitch). At 165' I traversed left to the Ground Zero anchor. You can see this well in the pic below the black tricam pic. The GZ crack on the left, The roof under which is the GZ anchor, and the dirty crack I am standing in.

This crack is a seam between Takes Fist and Ground Zero that few have probably noticed and those that did probably thought little of. At the risk of eating my words, it'll probably never go free but you all know how that goes. Some asshole to whom gravity doesn't apply shows up and makes us alll feel like a bunch of pussys. As for a discussion of whether there are more lines to be be done at Beacon - it's unnecessary as the opening line is a literary device used to convey my excitement when Jim told me about this line and suggested I do it. I'll get on that fixed pro application thing and I like the idea of fixing a RURP - should keep it interesting for future accents.

Trip: Beacon Rock - Lone Wolf and the Last Hurrah Date: 9/12/2009 Trip Report: FA "Lone Wolf and the Last Hurrah" at Beacon Rock. 1st pitch 9/12/09 Bill Coe, Adam Winslow and Ujahn Davisson. Gear notes: thin is in, mixture of thin iron, nuts and cams to a #1 Red Camalot. There are no FAs to be had at Beacon Rock. It's all been done years ago. Except possibly for the one Jim Opdycke had been thinking of for 25 years that is. Jim, seen below with the binoculars, with Bill Coe and his cousin Jay (rhymes with belay which is what Jay did) had put up a route called Ground Zero that long ago. Jim had always remembered the crack to the right, sandwiched between Ground Zero the prominent crack that is called Takes Fist, and that no one had ever gone and fired it. This has started to take on some meaning as the lower slabs were getting cleaned off and it would be a matter of time until someone just looked up. Pretty surprising when you consider how many times climbers had walked below or climbed nearby... but there it is. Jim had seen a spark in me and figured out that I would get the biggest bang for the buck, entertainment wise, so Jim turned me onto the crack and said "Go thee and climb". I ran through the folks I knew to partner up with and there was a list of solid climbers and good folks I could call. Yet one name stood out as having the most gear and it was then that I called Bill Coe, hoping I could pry a bit of gear out of the archives to get on this. Besides that, Bill has been telling me that he is going to invite me along for the FA of the best knob climb West of South Dakota and better than anything else in Oregon. Then he taunted the shit out of me by sending some sick pictures of this amazing 400' route he's drawn arrows and lines all over at some "secret" location and he won't tell me where it is. So I almost preemptively owe the fucker, and the bastard hasn't given up shit yet, claiming the road is closed....like I'm supposed to believe that bullshit. So I call him anyway having heard that he gives good belay: and he's game for Saturday. The weatherfolks are not that game, however, as they are predicting record heat, at 93, presaging the fact that the great south face of Beacon will be an oven. I'd wanted the first lead, but Bill throws an elbow and grabs the rack. I almost didn't put him on belay but our buddy Ujahn wanders over, and since the dude is as loyal as a dawg to Bill, I ignore the slight and up Bill heads into the wild blue yonder. Plus hey, I owe the fucker. As part of his extreme gearho'ism sickness, Bill has stacks of brand new ropes in his house squirreled away someplace. He had even cracked open a brand new 70meter rope the night before and made sure there was a middle mark. Then he brought another 70meter for rapping and even drug along a 7mm tag line. With the new rope up he went and I fed it steadily. He cruises the lower angled 70-80 foot section free climbing while pausing only to pro or to pull some salmon berry bushes that had either been missed or recently decided to grow back in. He gets to the steep, thin, dirty upper crack in about an hour. Of significance to me and our tale is that despite his claims of being old and fat, he made the free climbing part look like a deceptively easy jaunt as he floated up it - fucker. Soon we've got other folks hanging out watching the show. Jim Opdycke and Kyle Silverman make it over to say hi and are kicked back for the show. My buddy Aaron, seen below with me belaying in the background, whom I'd just done Monkey Face with, shows up and looks at the route. It takes a 1/2 hour of screwing around but eventually Bill gets the hammer of Thor smiting the mighty stone. He said that just getting established into the "crack" if you can call a seam that small a crack, was the crux. He gets to the base of the steep thin crack and starts stemming up as if he is going to take a shot at freeing it with what is left of his rack. Soon he decides that there's no real pro above and backs down to the pinnacle, and asks me to tag the pins and aid gear. Ujahn puts him on belay and I eventually get most of it clipped off or on to the wall rack based on his recommendations, toss in his clunker wall shoes and Bill hauls it up to his perch. As I will soon learn, it's very technical and thin nailing between some good nuts...not particularly scary or dangerous...but ...different. Bill aiding on the upper crack. Bill makes steady progress alternating between cams, nuts and the odd hammering now and then, but the heat eventually cooks him. One placement after I'd yelled out, "halfway", he decides that the shade and water that the yet available and accessible ground would provide seemed like a good idea and he lowers down. There's 2-1/2 hours of my life I won't get back. Jim comes over to wish Bill well and generally be upbeat and happy that the route is going. I grab the rack from Bill's hands (as he starts wandering around looking like a parched Jew after 40 years in the desert searching for a water bottle). His hands are cramping bad now and not so much resemble hands as they do little curled up animal claws. Once he downs most of a full water bottle he wanders back over to tell me what I need to finish the route and what I don't need, he peels off and drops what he feels are the useless pins and cams. At close to noon I charge up the route with my logging boots and the wall rack and 3 liters of water strapped to my back. To preface the story a bit, the other day at a party, a bunch of us were at Ujahns by his climbing wall and were looking at Ujahns pull-up bar. I'd asked him how many pull-ups he could do, and Bill had proudly divulged (confessed?) that he could do 3, but he wanted to make sure everyone knew that was 3 in a row! I'd grabbed the pull-up bar right there and cranked off about 20, but that was after drinking and also having worked all day and also worked out earlier, so I'd already done pull-ups that day and had used up most of my daily pull-up allotment. So I figure I'll just sprint up the lower section and I'm totally focusing on the upper crack Bill had left for me. This inattention only lasted about 20 feet when I took a fall. Huh? I jumped back on, and immediately realize that it's not a gimme pitch just because a fat old guy can float it. Fortunately Ujahn, still belaying, had the belay snug and the mank crap Bill had left on the high point held. I take another shot at freeing it and quickly give up on that idea. So I start hand over handing up the rope to the steep part so as to get her dealt with. Soon I'm stepping above the high mark, seen here as Bills red aider just below my feet. Bill had told me he'd gotten some real solid nuts here and there so any fall I'd take would be safe, but I get shafted and don't get anything that looked like this HB brass offset he'd put in lower. Mine looks like this mank tricam behind the loose rock. But it comes together and I move up. The anchors are under the roof next to the greenery up there. 20' shy of the anchors is a relatively large hollow sounding chunk of rock seated in the wall. I work hard to place just below and just above it as I fear a pin would send it flying onto my friends below. In reality it is probably more sound than the cam placement everyone uses below the butthole but I didn't feel like aiding on it any more than I'd want to aid the butthole so I did the required high stepping and placement effort to avoid it. There's a half hour nobody on the ground will ever get back. I soon ignore the exposure and get engaged. I'm pounding some myself, and while trying to clean the moss out of the next placement my baby knifeblade pops and letting out an involuntary scream, I fly. The foreshortening in this picture makes it looks shorter than it was, between the 6' of air and the rope stretch, from up there, it looked like a 20 footer. One of Therons new Tomahawks catches the fall...whew! Ujahn jugs and cleans the line. He snaps this of me as I rap past on a single line after having tagged up a 2nd rope. We're planning on coming back to do the 2nd pitch a bit later. It may or may not go to the ledge system above, and we want to strategize and think it over, and didn't want to piss anyone off by leaving a fixed rope, as is tradition, so we pulled our gear. If anyone is looking to repeat the 1st pitch (please leave P2 for us to get on), please try and pull your iron by hammering up, not down, so that nut placements get formed.

Sweet!

Hey bill, don't forget that was on gear with a bowline on a coil.

1.Jim put up the climb 2.He is EXTREMELY passionate about it being the way it is. 3.He put a lot of thought into things being the way they are. 4.Our agreement with those reasons is inconsequential. 5.Accept that you have no right to fuck with Jim's climb. 6.If you must tinker with something, go put up your own classic.