tvashtarkatena

No one whose witnessed the past six years of American history would doubt that our country has been hampered by an unprecedented pandemic of stupidity. The key to tackling this problem is to nip it at the bud. From now on, the Department of Education, headed by Arc, will spearhead a new program called Slow Child Left To Die which will fund mandatory classes in NASCAR driving, base jumping, speed climbing, stunt flying, extreme skiing, monster wave surfing and other quick reflex activities to children starting at age 5.

Any really hot Venezualan latinas that feel oppressed by the Chavez regime will be granted expedited US citizenship through a new program called Extraordinarily Milkshake Rendition.

Yes, this is an excellent proposal. We should definitely send strong message to the American people that it's now OK to be gay.

Fear not. I've asked congress to commit our half trillion dollar military budget towards the purchase of Vespas, ironic looking goggles, bike messenger packs, and retro 60s helmets, for every truck and SUV driving American. All SUVs will be confiscated and remanufactured into really large, visually impactful windmills, painted by hippies to look like huge magic mushrooms and other fanciful themes, to be located primarily on suburban lawns, which will be taken under eminent domain. Our oil troubles will be over in six months. The remainder of the United States military will be used to annex Costa Rica, Fiji, Rio de Janeiro, New Zealand, and other prime vacation spots around the globe.

Kevbone: Secretary of State. Always keep your enemies guessing. G-Spotter: Secretary of Canada, which we will annex immediately. All BC bud to be confiscated by federal agents and warehoused at the most secure location possible: The White House. Oly: Secretary of the newly created Department of Homeland Absurdity, which will administer most federal agencies.

And now, with the powers vested in me by the American people, I order that all former members of my precessor's administration wear, effective immediately, their underwear on the outside of their pants. Next order of business: the War on Drugs....

You could find out the guy's actually a fourteen year old girl with excellent acting skills.

If you have him come out and you're worried about his expectations, just make it explicit that getting laid at first meeting is NOT on the table beforehand. You can always change your mind after that 2nd bottle of wine...

We're 300 million people with no control over our nucular armed buffoon of a president. Every nation's got its problems.

Prost at 8:00, right? I think I can walk (or ski) the three blocks from my house.

of course WE are provoking the war. what would another country have to do, in your eyes, to be provoking a war Iran has, in no way, been provoking war. They've denied military intentions for their nuclear program to the world, not just the US. Whether this is true or not, it certainly doesn't constitute a provocation of war to any specific country. They are 'probably' funding the Shiite militias, but, to date, I've read no factual proof of this. Iran has made no offensive threats to anyone but Israel (what else is new?). That's their problem, not ours. The US, on the other hand, ignored Iran's graciously extended olive branch and sympathy after 911, and thus missed a rare opportunity to bring Iran back into the international fold and reestablish a constructive dialogue. Instead, W hands them the 'Axis of Evil' label, basically a direct military threat, invades and occupies the country next door, and repeatedly threatens them with 'serious consequences' (which, in the case of Saddam, meant war). Now, with Iraq's desintegration, rather than engage Syria and Iran to create a constructive plan for the region (the advice of the Iraq steady group and everyone else outside the administration), W is sending a carrier battle group. Make no mistake, if WE were Iran, we'd be mobilizing as massively and rapidly as possible under the same circumstances.

The fact that US and British oil companies are trying to secure a long term oil deal with Iraq in the face of it's rapid deterioration rather than waiting for a more peaceful time is a sign that they've lost confidence that things are going to work out there. It's more of an act of desparation than anything else. If Bush hits Syria, the easier of the two targets, to 'send a message', the Iraqi Sunni will be weakened, and, with their backs against the wall, become even more violent. Shiite Iran, of course, can only benefit. If Bush hits Iran, Iraq's Shia will go nuts, the Sunnis will be made stronger, and Iran will escalate it's funding of the insurgency in retaliation. A US airstrike would certainly include hitting Iran's oil facilities (we have little chance of such a strike knocking out their nuclear program, which is undoubtedly well hidden and buried), creating an oil based worldwide economic shock which will hit the US as hard as anywhere. It's pretty much lose, lose, yet as I write this another carrier battle group steams for the Persian Gulf. This can only mean "airstrike". There is no bottom to W's poor judgement

I say, Off White old man, be a good chap and ban the tosser and I'll grant you command of a dreadnaught.

...nor his veracity.

Escalation in the face of defeat will produce what it always does; further destabilization of the region. It will also hasten our demise in Afghanistan. Bush is doing what many men who wished to make history before him have done; Napolean, Hitler, Enron's executives, Saddam; he is postponing his inevitable failure, hanging on to a non-existent shred of hope, at the expense of the rest of us. His 'legacy' is more important to him than the good of the nation and the world. Like his historical brethren, he has become a monster.

Kevbone has been hinting for some time that he'd like a new avatar...

Is Prost in or out?

Did you miss your play date with Seahawk again today?

We withdrew our forces from Saudi Arabia a couple of years after 911. Only a few military training personnel remain there. The US has forces deployed in about 120 countries.

Ice is air tight. An air bubble trapped in this medium provides an accurate, uncontaminated sample of the atmosphere at that time. Ice cores provide an unbroken record of climate dating back well over half a million years. A similar methodology is also used to determine the origin of Martian meteorites by matching the gas bubbles trapped in the meteorite with gas samples analyzed by the various Mars landers.

how about shelaq load eating jizz burping hippie? How about a shellac load eating jizz burping hippie that can spell, think, an insult past the 4th grade level? You're basically K Kubed after massive head trauma; very difficult to dumb his one note runny stool down any further, but you're managing beautifully. If you were a nicer little doggie someone might come along and unchain you from your cement filled tire.