i_like_sun

momentarily I thought you were referring to big black dick. Go Muffy!!!!!!!!!!!! sshhh damn it i am trying to keep my personal fantasies PERSONAL!! Sorry Muffs. Spray seems to reveal all! Its like a virtual labotomy; you just get sucked in and your cortex decides to take a hike! -without you. I also deeply appreciate how you pointed out that everything is work! Even F***** sleep seems to be work! Maybe I should move to Antarctica. Hey, wanna come?

Enjoying? I seem to enjoy suffering and getting sunburned. - Thats IN the mountains. In the real world, I enjoy working out and getting as ripped and jacked as I possible can! Except now, you see, I can't really DO that until I figure out how to get enough f****** rest. To be "serious" for a slit second, the happiest moments I've ever had have been the times when I'm just totally chilled out, laying by some high alping lake in the beautiful sun, smelling the alping flowers and watching the butterflies. Yeah, TOTAL HIPPIE.

Is that Archenemy????

I am not sure if school ruined your life. Geeze, I hope I'm not totally ruined... No, school just ferments you faster than you want.

Dude yur awsome! What you just did, man, I've done so many times! I've even worn my shoes to bed because I've been so loopy as hell! Take it from someone who is addicted to sleep deprivation: TAKE SOME MELATONIN!

And masturbate. That helps. that is a really good point archie... i think i just assumed he would already be doing that cus i assume everyone already does that. Sexual tension is NOT my problem. Trust me on that one! As for summiting and/or going solo? Um, I don't think my deal has to do with pushing too hard IN the mountains (well, I definately could've packed in more butter fat) but its more of a general "lifestyle problem". This last year especially, I sort of forgot how to de-charge my nervous system. I started waking up earlier and earlier, and training harder and harder, and BANG. The body says: "sleep asshole!" Now I'm in the process of relearning how to be human again. You know, humans sometimes chill out, right? Yeah. Thats it.

PERFECT.

Muffs, I bet you are a wonderful mom.

Thats a good reply!

Nobody will believe me....... BUT! Fred Becky once called me at 12:30 am asking if I was available to go climb Mt. Assiniboine with him. Pathetically and stupidly, I decided to go make my final exams insead..... Again. School ruins life.

Cuter than the naked spiked out thing....

that's wet dream. Are you nuts?

Hummmm. You've seriously got me re-evaluating chiro. over PT school......

Actually, my doc. IS an eating disorder specialist! When I went in there she was like "you have an eating disorder". I was like "lady, what the fuck are you talking about!" "I probably eat more than Bill Clinton!" - Ok that was lame, but yeah, she threw me for a major loop. Apparently, and it doesn't surprise me, it takes a certain personality type to do this. She even nailed me by asking "I bet your pre-med, huh?" me: "ummm, fuck". [Apparently] high achieving people with [mildly] janked backgrounds (meaning traumas of some kind) are at greater risk of developing this stuff. She also told me that I'm extremely lucky. She said that after I described this to her: [back in late September I had a "Rainier in a day" thing planned, and I had all my gear and buddies sitting out in the driveway ready to rock and roll. I was (first MAJOR symptom that something was wrong) experiencing some pretty bad quadriceps pain - every-time I shouldered my pack or leaned down to pick something up, my legs just felt like giving out - very alarming considering that I had a REALLY long way to climb. After some massive internal battles and a short "lets think about this" walk around Greenlake, I made the decision not to go. In the end my "dudes" ended up getting completely lost in the Nisqually Icefall and not getting out to the car until 1:00am.] My doc. told me that making that decision may possibly have saved my life - because by that point I was so out of touch with my system (down to 3% bf and sleep deprived) that I might have simply "stress-out to system failure". Yep. Hopefully my wee story can help someone else! Actually, to be 100% honest, going through this has been pretty cool. I mean, now I can tell myself "dude, you pushed it until it wouldn't work anymore!" Plus, I'm a major physiology nut, so at least now I have an understanding of what metabolism and endocrinology are really all about. Waaoooh. That was a rant! Thanks again Muffy.

What if you are a scientist AND and engineer? Is that classified as like "mongo nuurd of the century"? I always thought I was the biggest nerd. Now I know its Archenemy!

Oh Muffy! I'm so happy you read my [crap]! I really like how you put it "....like telling someone with a food addiction "not to eat.""... That makes perfect sense to me. Theres just no way one can stop a pattern thats been there since age 6. Let alone starve to death! I have for the most part stopped beating the shit outa myself everyday (been forced to), and I am finally starting to heal after who knows how many years of blasting away. Its just a matter of patience and disipline - which is actually the strongest aspect of my personality, but also the part that got me into this. The other, perhaps largest half of this healing process I'm finding IS the emotional jazz. I've come to realize that a massive part of my reality is totally involved with being in awsome shape and being great at what I do - climbing and other physical things... So yeah, alot of what I've been dealing with is questioning and asking "what am I worth." Its pretty crazy; I've always been the most physically non-stopable and eternally happy dude no matter what. Going through this has certainly matured me in many, many ways. Thanks.

OK. Thats the most amazing thing ever....... is it REALLY waves of gravity???? Hummm, I don't know how that would be possible, perhaps shifting of massive quantities of magma......but then there would be earthquakes....?????? Dunno.

Muffs, I love you when yur drunk and stoked:-)

Um, I fall into almost ALL of these....... Except for the one where you calculate how much $$$$ you make per second..... I only did it to the minute.

Thats brilliant!

Actually, no. I'm dealing with a major life change, and I decided to say fuggit and see what kind of wisdom the Spray gods might provide. Archenemy, I admire your short answer skillzzz....

So, I know that at least some of the weirdoes on this forum read my little "addiction and climbing" ramble, as well as the overtraining [thing] in the fitness forum.... Basically, to help myself keep some sanity, I decided a while back to go in and chat with a mental health counselor. And its honestly been a very good thing. However, after our wee chat this afternoon, she straight up told me that I have all the symptoms of a recovering drug addict, and told me that I need to find "something besides climbing and athletics to get good at". She essentially told me to quit my passions entirely. Ummm, yeah. Sure. How can I do that when mountaineering (and my other hobby) have been my greatest sources of happiness and contentment thus far???? How do you say: NOT POSSIBLE!!! I mean, I am very good at other things. They just don't make me as freaking happy! I know that balance IS the name of the game. I mean look at Fred Becky (although the dude is a little cookoo) he's like 80 something and still climbs ALL the time! He must be doing something right. I'm not totally nutz (jesus I hope) just dealing with some massive demons right now......... wait, that sounded pretty church-ish. Crap. Anyway, thanks Spray, for letting me vent and rant.........

i called my mommy and she helped me feel better. I have a serious shoe fetish. I have like 30 pair. and now i will have to get rid of them and get a few expensive pair. i have really cute high heals sandals and pumps and boots and and and.... *sigh* it's funny i like to look at shoes i don't like to wear them mikey says think positive.... this will get better like that??? You are so cute Muffy. If I'm feeling bummer, I try to do something that makes me happy. Today I went and combined bananas and coconut in my blender. That certainly helped. Oops, this isnt' spray...

hey! that's not nice. muffy should i smack him for you? if she were 30 years younger she'd barely be playing with a lite brite. OOPS! Did I say 30 years????? Shit... I meant 10. Seriously. My mom is 30 years older than me.......

Yeah me too. I think that, along with the very first quote are my favorites.