archenemy

Seattle women aren't homemakers, they tend to have jobs. Maybe you are thinking of homemaker Ken. Try a Prius. This ain't Issaquah. Surely you jest! In Seattle? Try and REI backpack that she uses as a purse/briefcase. It probably needs to be washed. Yoga? Uh, try trail running with the family dog. You're sure this is Seattle Barbie, right? Even if she wanted to stay home, she works, because their Ballard bungalow was $600,000. Yeah, that's really Seattle. You see a lot of that Botox-and-Percocet thing in the city....NOT. Starbucks is for tourists. The locals like Appassionato, Vivace, and might tote a mug from one of the Cafe Divas scattered around the city. Sounds like he lives in the midwest. Wouldn't Ken be into mountain biking, organic gardening, and tele skiing? If he fishes, it's fly fishing, and he throws them back instead of killing them. Sounds like a generic Barbie to me. Nothing Seattle about this tiny plastic dame. Oh, I forgot to mention the BITTER BARBIE: a heifer-like character who is so frustrated at the lot she chose in life that she tries to reckon her disappointing reality with her fantasy world by denigrating all the other barbies. Ken, if you are reading this, you know the type. Usually only once.

Ok, we'll settle the barbie thing right here

Is that where Goldfish came from?

I am planning and executing my fundamental alienation/stealthy retreat from the entire institutional structure of society. But I still have three dogs, and I'm keeping em.

taebo is not a martial art. Nothing can beat Brazilian Ju Jitsu for getting into shape.

Soylent Green is a metal band. I watched them a couple of months ago--there was a lot of culture in the place alright!

Truly fucking amazing. Modern medicine is wonderful; but it is obviously matched by your determination. I can't believe I am reading that you are already out hiking--you

Then that one must be you.

It is also the Aurora Barbie: the Bang & Go.

Maybe just "I am pleased to make love to the Tuttlites, form a line and get off." Short, sweet, to the point.

There are two shirtless guys in that picture.

I guess that makes him 25% the loser I am. Keep up the good work construction boy!

You are starting to sound kinda like a loser--no offense; just a little off the cuff remark.

That is work life balance.

I was thinking of a Ballard Barbie, but there isn't enough info for a paragraph. She just comes equipped with a fly rod, a beer, and second hand clothing.

Seattle Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing, baseball and is often working late?. Available at all Seattle-area Starbucks retailers. Bellevue Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She Comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired foreign lapdog named "Honey". Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche. Tacoma Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash- preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawn shops. Everett Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a Pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer Gut Ken out of Monroe Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus. Monroe Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T' shirt & a Tweedy Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after another one of his "episodes" with his boss's daughter. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart. Sultan Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller And bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled out PFD form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available at Value Village. Vashon Island Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic & tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI. Olympia Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is being phased out and is only available from the manufacturer.

male/female ratio is historically better in Paraguay than Alberta 20% male You are right, that does sound better.

sweet.

I've gotten fired for talking shit about my boss right to my boss. Boy, was he pissed. I still laugh about it.

Better tell him that Jon will prosecute...it'll keep him on his toes.

Thanks for the clarification.

How did you get your car into a safe in the basement?

I bet you're right.

Funny, I also screamed when I looked at that. Yeech.

I used to be a researcher. Here is the fruit of my labor: save the world