Gimpy

A man was big wall climbing and durring an aid pitch he pops loose, zippers all his pro, and pulls his belayer off the ledge. In desperation he grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff. Full of fear, he assessed his situation. He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death, and the weight of his belayer is dragging him down. Full of fear, he cries out, "Help me!" But there was no answer. Again and again he cried out but to no avail. Finally he yelled, "Is anybody up there?" A deep yet serene voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here." "Who is it?" "It's God." "Can you help me?" "Yes, I can help." "Please help me then!" "Let go." Looking around the man became full of panic. "What?!?!" "Let go. I will catch you." "Uh... Is there anybody else up there?"

So what is the word on WHY Crag.com is down? I have been wondering if the recent threads of hate and threats of violence made Dan question why he should maintain the site or if it was a financial thing. I too will miss Crag.com, it was a good beta source if you managed to wade through the hacked out spray of those who still strugle with the concept of personal grooming.

Most of the good points have been made about anchoring a belayer. I think the most important principal would be that every situation is different. I sometimes anchor, sometimes not. One thing I usually do that I didn't see mentioned is that I try not to anchor tight. By leaving a few feet of slack you allow for some play in the set up while still keeping me secure. I admit that I have blocked a trail now and then, but I also make an effort to let people pass and apologize for the inconvenience I have caused. To do less would be rude.

I climbed Theilson last year, in the summer. One person in our group had climbed it before and talked it up as a major undertaking. I had checked some books and what I read didn't match this dudes list, but decided to carry the gear he said we would need anyway. I had never climbed with this guy before or I would have known what a wanking wimp he was. We sloged up the slope loaded with gear and soon I noticed we were the only ones with packs. When I got to the top and looked at the 4th class scramble and people going up it in tennis shoes I wanted to kill that dude. I had rock shoes and a harness in my pack that was just added weight and bulk. He showed up half and hour later with his friend and their wives and started roping up, busting out the gear, and asking who wanted to make the "lead". I just about puked. I scrambled up, looked around till I was bored, and headed down in time to pass these wankers "lead climbing", shoes and all. The moral of the story, don't trust some body just because he said he's "been there, done that", research it yourself.

"If you are at the top of the ski area by 1:30 a.m. you should be on the summit well before the sun comes up. Enjoy the view?" Rodchester, you obviously don't know me too well. Even with that lead we probably will just get to the top as the sun rises. Besides, we will wait for the sun to come up, if by some chance we gain the summit before then. Slide, I had to give up beer drinking over 13 yrs ago, it became too much of a hobby. Happy to share a Coke with ya though. I'm in a red jacket with gray stripes on the sleave and black bibs. (That probably describes half the people on the slope.)

Thanks for the info iain, I knew about the web site, and knew it was second hand info, which is why I posted. I trust people on this site (with some major exceptions) more than most people I don't know. In deference to my couch potato condition we will be taking a snow cat to the top of Palmer, leaving at midnight from the lodge. That should put us at the top of the ski area by 1:30 am and well infront of the Mazamas. As for the avalanche danger I was told today that there looked to be only a 30% chance we would climb. If we bail, I'll just head to Smith for the day.

I hate to throw out a gumby question, but I mostly rock climb and do alpine only when my friend can hook me into it. (Like twice, St. Hellens and Theilson) Sat. May 11 we are going to do what I think is called the "Dog route". (the easiest way up?) He has climbed Hood like 8 times but I was wondering if anyone has current conditions, what I can expect as far as exposure, ice or snow under the foot, and how long it will take once we top Palmer?

She's so fat, the Seismograph at the local geology department shuts down durring her aerobics class. [ 05-05-2002, 10:30 AM: Message edited by: Gimpy ]

This is probably old, but who cares. It's the Devil's Fault I'm Fat And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that? And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds. And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts, and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds. And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds. And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed it's own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof. And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained pounds. And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.... and Satan created HMO's

Regretably, the winner is an urban myth. I remember when this story first started spreading, I read it at the hospital when my 5 yr old was born. A few months later I read an article about urban myths. The author had taken time to check police records on several rumors, including this one. When he contacted the Arizona Hyway Patrol he got a resoponce along the lines of "G. Damn it, I am so F'n tired of this B.S. rumor. It never happened and I have no idea how it started!" New Mexico, Texas, and Nevada have been named as locations where this "happened", all were checked with similar results.

You know, I go elk hunting with a guy who was on a college track team. I don't think he ever even noticed the rocks I slipped into his pack. I have found the best way to slow down people who have an annoying habit of keeping in shape is to divert their energy while allowing you to rest. My favorite method is the distraction. While hunting I like to ask "Did you just see something move behind that tree?" Often this will cause him to stare at the tree in hopes of seeing an elk. While climbing just call out things like "Is it an optical illusion or is that a depression in the snow ahead?" or "Dang that cornice looks heavy." As a last but expensive resort try tossing climbing bootie. Drop an unmarked #4 hex near the trail and ask if he dropped it. Insist that he come look at it himself because if it's not his then you will leave it for the rightful owner to retreive. This forces him to hike back down to you, lie and say "I didn't even notice that fall out of my pack, thanks." and then walk back up to where he started. This of course is thwarted by the ocasional honest climber, but they are rare and can be avoided.

quote: Originally posted by barbarian: Gimpy: this thread was obviously started because the moderators wanted our opinion about the content/nature of this site. Don't attack me for giving my two cents. Jack is clearly offensive, but if you're looking for it, most people on this site are. No worries, I'm not attacking you or anyone else. My attempt at making a point was that I don't think the moderators need our opinion. While it would be a poor management decision to completely disregard the general desires of those who are using this site, those who put in the time and the dime to make this site work are the final say. [ 04-29-2002, 08:53 AM: Message edited by: Gimpy ]

quote: Originally posted by barbarian: I fully support anything Jack has to say. Do not censor those who wish to move this website forward! I saw a quote once, "I disaprove of what you say, but to the death will defend your right to say it." That said, I would also defend the moderator's right to steer the course this site might take in going "forward", as you say. If you need profanity, voulgarity, and sexual content to make your visit to a climbing BBS complete I would postulate that there might be other web sites which could more fully suit your needs. Spray is fun, and I love the "Joke for the Hell of it" thread, but recent posts from Jack have used subject titles which certainly could be offensive to some. If the people who own and opperate this site want to control it's content I have no right to tell them in what way or if they can, and likewise neither do you.

I have some LaSportiva climbing pants and some jersey type sweats from K-Mart. I paid $40 more for the Sportivas and wonder why. Actually, since the K-Mart jobs fit better and have pockets I tend to favor them anyway and at only $10-15 bucks I don't care much if I trash them. Wallyword (Walmart) has the same type of light weight sweats for $12.00 all year long.

In answer to the question about a rat hole... First, realize that a rat, like a mouse or a bat, can compress his rib cage to slip through a hole or crack you would never imagine possible. A rat hole doesn't need to conform to a standard shape or size, unlike squirls or gofers. Rats chew through anything, look for tooth marks around the hole. The flour idea is good to find out if the hole is active, but the foot prints will be smaller than you expect. If it's a rat, look for the tail drag marking. I know some animal lovers will shit a twinkie over this, but I train my cats to kill mice and rats. I used to go to the pet store and buy a grey mouse for about a buck. Then I would put it in the bathroom with the cat and a towel under the door so the mouse couldn't escape. The cats learned to think of mice as play toys. I flushed a lot of mice down the toilet but eventually the cats noticed that the mice tasted good too. As you might suspect, I have never had a rodent problem. I notice the ocasional signs that a rodent has visited, but they never stay long.

And the number one reason why climbing is better than sex.... Unlike sex, climbing Solo is actually concidered bold and the epitomy of a chalenge.

OK, thanks for the answer. As I suspected I knew the move, not the name. I always just described it as trying to pull the crack apart. Like: "No shit there I was on Omega Chub....V13. I started from the sit start with a dyno to a smallow monodoight undercling. Dropping into a radical egyptian, i worked a rose move into an iron cross, knee-scummed into a no-hands rest, heel hooked my ankle in a comfortized pocket, then pimped up with a Triple Sukahara into a strenuous gasaton and double-dynoed for the lip. i thoughT i was gonna send for sure but then I grabbed a slug at the lip and when I tried to mantle on it I greased off. Bummer dood. How will I ever get Ropegun to sponsor me?" I understood all that except for Iron Cross and Triple Sukahara. What are they?

A term I am unfamiliar with, a gaston or to do a gaston. (spelling uncertain) I understand it to be a move or technique, but I don't know what or how it is done. I might just know it by another name or I might be missing a crucial tool for unlocking some routes that mocked me last season. So give, what's the word?

ok, ignorant question: what is a gaper?

Ignorant question: WHAT IS A GAPPER?

On-sight flashLeading a climb with no falls and no dogging and without any prior attempts, watching someone do it or beta on how to do the moves. (f) Enchaîner en tête à vue, (i) A vista, (e) A vista (Copied from the On-line Climbers dicionary @ http://home.tiscalinet.de/ockier/climbing_dict.html#alpinebutterfly ) I have always been under the impresion that if you have no knowlege of the moves on a climb other than general descriptions (ie: crack climb with lots of crimpy pockets to the left, gear 1/2 to 2 1/2 inches.) it is still an on-sight. I try not to get too hung up on what I can claim to have acomplished unless I'm just bored as hell. Once, while in a state of abject boredom I wondered what, after watching a friend make an attempt at leading half the route and then rigging a top rope to retrieve some gear upon which I climbed and flashed the route, should I claim for the ascent. (it was generaly decided that it would be a half-on-sight, half beta flash top rope) As you can imagine, you need to be really bored before you come up with that kind of question.

Pop one off at the crags? Anybody who claims they never have is either lying or is so tight if you shoved a chunk of coal up there, well the damn thing would just never come out. I once took a piss while I had a friend on belay. He had taken a good fall on trad gear and was kind of sketched (a lot). Determined not to let the mind game win or the route beat him he forced himself to climb. He would place a peice, make one or two moves, place another, and hang to shake it off. I swear he spent over an hour and a half working a single pitch. Durring one of his rest stops, I just locked it off, turned to the side and hung it out.I figure, which is more embarassing? A wet spot on the ground next to you, or a wet spot on your pants? Would I fart at the crag? A better question would be, does methane gas rise?

Right now I have a term life policy that, according to my agent, has no exclusions of any kind. A friend had recently died and the insurance company was yanking his widow and baby on a chain, refusing to pay up ($1,000,000 policies are cheap at 25 years old). She couldn't afford a lawyer and they just waited until all her resourses were depleted and two years after the death settled with her for a tad more than $200,000. I told my agent I wanted a policy that would pay, no matter what. He told me he had one policy where, if my wife was convicted of murdering me, they would send her the check in jail.

OK, for those who might need the info, here are some on-line sites to visit before you head to Smith Rock. 1. http://www.smithrock.com/routes/index.html(this is the route guide section of the web page. They haven't updated the guide for some time but if your going to stay on Morning Glory all day your set.) 2. http://www.spiritone.com/~summit/sr1.html(Possibly the most complete on-line guide. The cool thing is that you can use the tree list to find routes according to difficulty, trad vs sport, and alphabetically.) 3. http://www.drtopo.com/oregon/smith.html(This is a printable topo guide you can download. Print one page, flip it over and back in your printer, then print the next page. When your done you fold them in half and you have a 24 page mini guide book. This is of course only a partial listing but if you buy the guide book suplement called "New Shtuff" from Redpoint you will have more routes then you could do in a week-end at most any level.) Hope it helps. Have fun, but avoid the free ride in the rescue litter if you can.