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ivan

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Everything posted by ivan

  1. "Minorities Destroying the Empire!"
  2. "imperial embassy destroyed - state secretary refuses extra security 'in our moment of triumph'"
  3. "jobless youth fingered in massive terrorist attack speaks out: 'i blew it so we could go home'"
  4. how would the fox news headline run the morning after the death star explodes?
  5. should the borg encounter the good folks at fox, might they honor them as being the first race NOT to be assimilated?
  6. more to the point, would even einstein be able to figure out their tide chart?
  7. jesus, dude, how is it that YOU ain't a regular there?
  8. poison oak. more evidence that god has a fucked up sense of humor. i've never felt that technu's done much to minimize the outbreaks - seems pretty much, once it's starts to appear, you have no choice but to look like a zombie for a week or two...
  9. all who post in this thread deserve genital warts
  10. for my weekly current event quizzes i daily cross-reference the main headlines for 6 different mainstream news sites - i thought it interesting today that fox was the only one to omit reference to a recent study concluding that the new hpv-vaccine doesn't instantly turn little girls into whores
  11. i just watch fox for the boobies - it's important to have certain needs serviced before enduring pbs' take on the days events
  12. the only methdeal i ever saw go down w/ my own eyes was in that parking lot yeah, leaving shit there is asking for it in a big way - make a local friend or shell out for the insurance...
  13. color me surprised old bill! so next you gotta head-lock some boy scout into going back and actually putting in a trail just above the road - fucksakes, in flip-flops and w/ a full haulbag (i was too lazy to repack) it took me at least 5 minutes to figure out how to climb the first 15 feet!
  14. i avoid hiking as much as possible - hiking threatens to kill this sweet beer-gut i've been working on for the past 2 decades
  15. you asking 'bout lacamas pinnacle's location or the lakeside chalet? the later's right there by lake lacamas, near the high school, the former's way out in the hinterland, 'bout 20 minutes north...
  16. here ya go - don't blame me if you get less enjoyment out of it than i billed http://cascadeclimbers.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/1085383/TR_Lacamas_Pinnacle_Fortress_o#Post1085383
  17. Trip: Lacamas Pinnacle - Fortress of Crapitude Date: 10/11/2012 Trip Report: don't know how that fine feller mr olson makes money off his books, as he always seems to be giving me copies for free - was thumbing through his latest, "oregon rock," the other day and was surprised to see a crag here in camas - foreswore the last fine day at beacon before fall come fucksading down and teamed up w/ mr miker to check it out after work ole'boy'olson didn't exactly get my hopes up high, and for that i thank him, but jesus christ, it was even worse than hoped for - "desperately small" he describes it, but "tragically tiny china-cock" woulda been more the thing long rumble over gravel, o'er hill n' dale n' heath and devastated forest - the red devil in dire danger of busting out its bottom and being left to rot in the big ruin of the jones creek area - eventually we got to it - holy shit, i've taken a few dumps bigger than this dismal thing! solid enough rock, and kudos to the poor soul who set themself to clean it - the rock might be small, but the bolts are big like bog an approach of all of 100 yards, but good luck figuring how to get up the trail-less and wicked steep sand bank above the road-cut - the prevalence of prickly brambles and char-coaled logs hardly helpful... not that the ambiance of a clear cut can be much diminished, but holy-fuck, the sound of the countryside there is the spitting image of rural somali, and not in a decent way - half a dozen crackers all along the hills w/ semi-automatic rifles, blazing away at the demons in their banal day-dreams - practically any second i figured to hear the High Whine of In-Coming! we clambered all over that fucker and quickly figured we'd brought way too little beer to make this thing bearable - most "routes" not more than a dozen feet tall - you can sample all there is to be had there in half the time it takes to make the drive the far ridgeline's got a road and maybe a better crag, but the roar of the ambuscade there augers poorly for any fellow who steps over w/ anything less than a smith n' wesson strapped cavalcade - You Have Been Warned. we left w/ the Hardly Sated feeling of a man who's got a hand-job from a toothless-midget missing most of her fingers and bombed down the blown-out landscape in search of a True Drunk good enough to wash away the memory of a misspent afternoon - sigh....i don't blame anyone, just me. Gear Notes: drugs - lots of drugs, might make it better - shit, practically would explain the origin i'll warrant - you might consider bringing your own boulders to beef up what you find Approach Notes: good enough explanation in oregon rock, but i'd just as well recommend blotting the whole page out!
  18. 10/12 - my 38th birthday, and the day off to boot! the fall weather here finally, and no bacon-scrambling to be had therefore, so off i shot w/ kid#1 for a father/daughter trail hike, equipped w/ a mighty golf-umbrella and tori amos on the music box - our ascent complete, we winged it back to camas for a leisurely brunch at the lakeside chalet
  19. where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
  20. ivan

    Hey Joe

    good job, joe - now will you please stop spamming my in-box?
  21. no, but i wrote a leaflet on famous jewish sports heroes - good enough? what ARE the proper credentials for opining on invisible beings who hang out in clouds, clad all in bathrobes and sandals, w/ big bushy beards?
  22. "what the fuck are you talking about?"
  23. Just to get this thread back on topic: "Perhaps there is a God after all." dammit, beat me too it...
  24. ivan

    Denali Prep

    spend a week camping in a meat-locker and call it good...
  25. i'd call that predication as bold and likely to be fuck-strated at that of the Shaved Men
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