Necronomicon

I hate you, shit.

Who's your buddy?

Center of the Universe, and don't you forget it.

Nope. Born and raised out there.

Rumney and Cathedral? That's it? What about Red Rocks, in Gloucester, or the numerous quarries, or Pawtuckaway State Park, or Mount Monadanock, or Keene NH?

Smooth! "Hey baby, what brings you to my neck of the woods?" She'll totally take the bait!

Are you for real? This has to be a joke... If an "easy drive" means "three hours", you're going to love it out here.

Sure, but what are you doing up so late. And "home crags", that's a laugh. There's nothing but choss out here, and it's all wet and mossy to boot. You can have em'. I eat out.

Kappa Upsilon Nu Tau

Are you on the Psylocybe stunzii right now? You're like W. S. Burroughs. "Where's the Steely Dan? I like eggs! This plate is chipped. Who's car? We ran to the edge and turned, laughing. Spank it! Spank it!" YouDub is a moron factory. Do yourself a favor and join a fraternity if you want a real education. There's nothing like "Training" a Hoe with the Bros on fifteen cups of keg beer, three hits of acid, and a handful of ephedrine.

And it's "Hah-vid"

New England sucks dog hog. Boston is a dung heap under construction, permanently. Cathedral is a choss heap, and White Horse is overgrown slag.

Boy, this beer tastes GOOD! How are those graham crackers?

Yeah, and some milk and cookies, too, while I schoon a legally purchased big ol' BEER.

Looks like a shoehorn...

Avatar? Get your head out of your ass and rub the shit out of your eyes, turd burglar. I'm the real deal. Shit in my eyes? What's a turd burglar? You're the real what!?! You are confusing me, not to mention destroying my fragile, teenage ego. NOOOOOOOOOO! Teenage? Where's your permission slip, kid? Don't you have school tomorrow?

Avatar? Get your head out of your ass and rub the shit out of your eyes, turd burglar. I'm the real deal.

Trask! This little shit is on to us! You seem to have been misinformed Trecro. I am a BIG shit. Besides, who was doing his best to piss people off a few weeks ago with the "Best News I've Heard All Day" threads? Hmmm, I can't remember. I went to fat camp too, but I learned something on a diet of thin gruel, BIG guy. Didn't stick, did it? And I try to piss someone off each and every day, not just on a bi-weekly basis.

You hold him down, I'll drive my rickshaw up his Ho Chi Min Trail.

Trask! This little shit is on to us!

So you been donating some cash, fuck hole? Is that why you and caveman are tolerated? Hey, I hate to make the accusations, but something's fishy when two shitherders like you flaunt all decency day after day, even getting possessive about the site. Talk about brainless arroganance, anus paste. Take your moronic circus freakshow, with your bearded fat lady and two-headed snakes and shit, to where the human species has devolved to a state of organic decadance and corruption that would worship you like Gods. Idaho's a good place to start.

Too crude, dude. You've stepped over the line this time.

It's "Tool" to you, old man. That's with a capital "T". No one takes me "Serious"? Oh gosh, not that! As if: 1) I've been serious to this point, and 2) I could really give a flying fuck on a rolling donut. You're all hallucinations to me anyways, IT'S THE MATRIX!! But, OOOH MAN!! I am serious this time. I think I'll turn your ass into a Yorkshire Pudding and scarf you down with a shitty Chianti I get out of the dollar bin at the Grocery Outlet.

I just got done gang-raping myself, and I feel like shit now. Seeing as there seems to be no law around here anymore, judged on how some of you fucks think it's OK to post about gang raping someone and the MODERATORS do nothing about it, I am going to RAPE and KILL each and every one of you(except for the ladies, that is). That's right, ALL OF YOU, one at a time. I am going to kill you and eat you, and take poictures of it and post them into the Photo Gallery. I'm dead serious, too. Pretty soon, there'll be nothing here but me and the ladies and pictures of me gang raping stab holes in your dead torsos. You can lock your doors or hide in your spacious SUVs, but you're all fucking DEAD!!

DOOM!! DOOOOOOMM!!!! This is some ugly shit. My guess is that it will over take THE WAR for the top spot in the headlines by next week, with thousands of cases across Asia, and hundreds in North America. Super virus on its way to your home soon. Start digging those shallow graves for your dearly departed loved ones, the garbage trucks will be too full to pick them up at the curb. GOD DAMN OSAMA, OMAR, AND SADDAM FOR UNLEASHING THIS NEW HELL ON TO HUMANKIND!!!