Necronomicon

Are you for real? This has to be a joke... If an "easy drive" means "three hours", you're going to love it out here.

Sure, but what are you doing up so late. And "home crags", that's a laugh. There's nothing but choss out here, and it's all wet and mossy to boot. You can have em'. I eat out.

Kappa Upsilon Nu Tau

Are you on the Psylocybe stunzii right now? You're like W. S. Burroughs. "Where's the Steely Dan? I like eggs! This plate is chipped. Who's car? We ran to the edge and turned, laughing. Spank it! Spank it!" YouDub is a moron factory. Do yourself a favor and join a fraternity if you want a real education. There's nothing like "Training" a Hoe with the Bros on fifteen cups of keg beer, three hits of acid, and a handful of ephedrine.

And it's "Hah-vid"

New England sucks dog hog. Boston is a dung heap under construction, permanently. Cathedral is a choss heap, and White Horse is overgrown slag.

Boy, this beer tastes GOOD! How are those graham crackers?

Yeah, and some milk and cookies, too, while I schoon a legally purchased big ol' BEER.

Looks like a shoehorn...

Avatar? Get your head out of your ass and rub the shit out of your eyes, turd burglar. I'm the real deal. Shit in my eyes? What's a turd burglar? You're the real what!?! You are confusing me, not to mention destroying my fragile, teenage ego. NOOOOOOOOOO! Teenage? Where's your permission slip, kid? Don't you have school tomorrow?

Avatar? Get your head out of your ass and rub the shit out of your eyes, turd burglar. I'm the real deal.

Trask! This little shit is on to us! You seem to have been misinformed Trecro. I am a BIG shit. Besides, who was doing his best to piss people off a few weeks ago with the "Best News I've Heard All Day" threads? Hmmm, I can't remember. I went to fat camp too, but I learned something on a diet of thin gruel, BIG guy. Didn't stick, did it? And I try to piss someone off each and every day, not just on a bi-weekly basis.

You hold him down, I'll drive my rickshaw up his Ho Chi Min Trail.

Trask! This little shit is on to us!

So you been donating some cash, fuck hole? Is that why you and caveman are tolerated? Hey, I hate to make the accusations, but something's fishy when two shitherders like you flaunt all decency day after day, even getting possessive about the site. Talk about brainless arroganance, anus paste. Take your moronic circus freakshow, with your bearded fat lady and two-headed snakes and shit, to where the human species has devolved to a state of organic decadance and corruption that would worship you like Gods. Idaho's a good place to start.

Too crude, dude. You've stepped over the line this time.

It's "Tool" to you, old man. That's with a capital "T". No one takes me "Serious"? Oh gosh, not that! As if: 1) I've been serious to this point, and 2) I could really give a flying fuck on a rolling donut. You're all hallucinations to me anyways, IT'S THE MATRIX!! But, OOOH MAN!! I am serious this time. I think I'll turn your ass into a Yorkshire Pudding and scarf you down with a shitty Chianti I get out of the dollar bin at the Grocery Outlet.

I just got done gang-raping myself, and I feel like shit now. Seeing as there seems to be no law around here anymore, judged on how some of you fucks think it's OK to post about gang raping someone and the MODERATORS do nothing about it, I am going to RAPE and KILL each and every one of you(except for the ladies, that is). That's right, ALL OF YOU, one at a time. I am going to kill you and eat you, and take poictures of it and post them into the Photo Gallery. I'm dead serious, too. Pretty soon, there'll be nothing here but me and the ladies and pictures of me gang raping stab holes in your dead torsos. You can lock your doors or hide in your spacious SUVs, but you're all fucking DEAD!!

DOOM!! DOOOOOOMM!!!! This is some ugly shit. My guess is that it will over take THE WAR for the top spot in the headlines by next week, with thousands of cases across Asia, and hundreds in North America. Super virus on its way to your home soon. Start digging those shallow graves for your dearly departed loved ones, the garbage trucks will be too full to pick them up at the curb. GOD DAMN OSAMA, OMAR, AND SADDAM FOR UNLEASHING THIS NEW HELL ON TO HUMANKIND!!!

I couldn't say where she's coming' from, But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm She stroll on over, say look here, bum, I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum (Y'jes can't do it) She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb She could prove it any time all men was scum I don't mind that she called me a bum, But I knew right away she was really gonna cum (So I got down to it) I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb An' applied rotation on her sugar plum I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm, Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Where's this Dinah-Moe Comin' from I done spent three hours An' I ain't got a crumb From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe From the Dinah-Moe Humm Got a spot that gets me hot, ow! An' you ain't been to it (No no no no!) Got a spot that gets me hot, ow! An' you ain't been to it (No no no!) Got a spot that gets me hot But you ain't been to it (No no no no no!) Got a spot that gets me hot But you ain't been to it 'Cause I can't get into it Unless I get out of it An' I gotta get out of it Before I get into it 'Cause I never get into it Unless I get out of it An' I gotta be out of it To get myself into it (She looked over at me with a glazed eye And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area And she said . . . ) Just get me wasted An' you're half-way there 'Cause if my mind's tore up, Then my body don't care I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin An' said my-my-my What sort of thing Might this lady get high upon? I checked out her sister Who was holdin' the bet An' wondered what kind of trip The young lady was on The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet But she could use a little ______ if I wasn't done yet I told her . . . Just because the sun Want a place in the sky No reason to assume I wouldn't give her a try So I pulled on her hair Got her legs in the air An' asked if she had any cooties on there (Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!) She was buns-up kneelin' BUNS UP! I was wheelin' an dealin' WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH! She surrender to the feelin' SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED An' she started in to squealin' Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red Some drool rollin' down From the edge of her chin While she spied the condition Her sister was in She quivered 'n quaked An' clutched at herself While her sister made a joke About her mental health 'Till Dinah-Moe finally Did give in But I told her All she really needed Was some discipline . . . Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . . M-M-M . . . it's real angora Would y'all like some more-a? Right here on the flora? An' how 'bout you, Fauna? Y'wanna? MMM . . . sound like you're chokin' on somethin' Did you say you want some more? Well, here's some more . . . (Oh, baby . . . ) Oh, sure . . . look, D'you think I could interest you In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers? MMM . . . tweezers! Wait a minute, lemme sterilize 'em . . . Gimme your lighter . . . I couldn't say where she's coming' from But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm She stroll on over, say look here, bum, I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum (Y'jes can't do it) I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb An' applied rotation on her sugar plum I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm Some Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Dinah-Moe Some Dinah-Moe An' a little Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' a little Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' some Dinah-Moe An' a Dinah-Moe again An' Dinah-Moe An' Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora An' Dinah-Moe Kiss my aura, Dinah

You shouldn't talk about your mom that way.

Bring the band on down behind me, boys . . . Say! Good God! Ain't it funky! You've changed the flavor of your gibberish. What gives?

What's the matter Trask, your Harley broken down again? You should get a Honda.

Every night I am praying that an alien race will come down and blot out non-thinking ignorant fucks like yourself. It's a damn shame that a wayward cruise missle probably won't slam into your house while you are sleeping. Your head is so far up your ass it's not even possible for you to pull it out. You're some kind of weird head-in-ass mobius person. You make it painfully obvious that 75% of Americans read below the fifth grade level.

Meta-bullshit: an analysis and synthesis of a large amount of bullshit.