RURP

This is RURP: I am merely expressing what no doubt a lot of people are thinking. And I do not need your permission to express my opinion. On the other hand, are you saying that if I do pay your bills and give you "Dimonds" that I can organize your activities??? Get rid of the burka and join the 21st century. And the guy who thinks the bloody dancing baby is funny, maybe you should be ostracized like Crazy Polish Bob and the other fools who find humor in violence against children. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: Why don't you get off the damn computer and pay attention to your kids. Are you on this thing all day long? RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: Awards for climbing are as LAME and STUPID as it gets. Maybe it is another pathetic import from the Old Country. Golden Piton........"woo-hoo" as they say. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: You are all big-wall whiners. New-wave nothing! Just go out and do it and if it makes you cry, we don't want to hear about it. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP I have also been told by several people that there was a rumor that I "bit it" in the Alps a month or two ago. You are full of crap. It must have been someone else named RURP. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. pope thinks he is a BIG WALL master. He disrespects or otherwise makes fun of the BIG WALL and thereby shows that he does not understand the experience. Let me tell you this mr. pope, give me a couple of hundred dollars and I will let you watch me pack my haul bag and then you can carry it to the base of the wall. For an additional $50 I'll let you borrow my lawn chair and binoculars and you can watch all of the BIG WALL, BIG ACTION from below. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: "I wish the forest service would put the proceeds from the trail pass to good work and hire some folks to clean up all that deer and coyote shit littering the woods. And speaking of shitting in the woods, will somebody please teach those fucking bears how to use the porta-potties?" No, Tricky-Guy, as you well know, I was referring specifically to DOGS crapping on trails (and parking areas) at climbing areas. (And anyone who knows the outdoors well can tell the difference between dog crap and that of coyotes, bears, deer, etc.) I've also seen (twice) dogs peeing or spraying on packs and ropes at a climbing area. What are you going to do, stop them mid-crap or spray? Dogs WILL crap and not all owners care whether it bothers anyone else. Taking a dog out for his "daily constitutional" to crap on someone else's lawn is an all-too common practice. You love your dog, and that is nice, but you can't expect everyone else to be as appreciative. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. Dogs are like kids. The kid's parents think they're the cutest little angels but the appreciation does not spread very far. At least kids usually do not crap in the trail. Several times, I have reached my vehicle to remove my footwear only to find my treads embedded with stinky dog crap which I have to spend time removing before I can even put them in the car. On more than one occasion, I have seen the sleepy/passive-dog-at-the-base-of-the-crag nearly killed by falling rock and gear. Dogs can also take over your life as in the already mentioned "I can't go climbing because my dog is lonely", or "someone's got to look after my dog", but that is your problem. My problem is that I do not want your crapping, sniffing, barking beast near me. "Yah, but my dog is special!" No he is not. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. Mr. Dru says: "Yeah where the hell is Dwayner and the Mickey's????" I saw him at the Ironman last month and he was drinking Gatorade (which is also in a wide-mouthed bottle). I asked him where his quickdraws were and he gave me a strange answer: "Googookaju". RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: You think it's all done, yes you do. Try This One. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: That S.K...She's a housewife, but she flirts like a college coed. Dudes: do not fall for it! RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: "Just what kind of a trip is this, anyway?" some guy asks. Answer...it sounds like two attractive females and a whole bunch of horny dudes who think they are gonna score. That SK appears to be a housewife and that Anna sounds like she's more interested in airplanes than boys. So do not get your hopes up, fellows! On the other hand, they both sound like real novices so they will need some expertise to show them the good climbs and to keep them from getting lost going up to Givler's Dome. "Gentlemen": stop thinking with those little heads and make better use of the precious few weeks of decent weather. I predict that NOTHING that you fantasize about is going to happen (except drinking). Horny dude to uninterested girl ratio will probably be at least 5:1 RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: That Rope-gun guys says: "You can never have to many alpine partners. Nobody is perfect, but if they are reasonable fit, motivated, easy to get along with, have a sense of humor, and can swing leads." Well, this fellow looks like he would fit the description, * reasonably fit (o.k., I am guessing) * motivated (looks eager for whatever) * easy to get along with (winning smile) * a sense of humor (he got clown hair) and he looks like could definitely "swing leads"! RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: What...D-Dog...are you this guy's girlfriend or professional promoter? If he is so hot, then tell him to get a good slideshow. And this: "Show respect for the leaders in our sport." There are no leaders and if there were, it probably wouldn't be that guy. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: MOUNTAINEERS: Piss in large groups while "leaders" look on. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: According to the official propaganda: "Kurt Smith is coming to town to throw a climber's party to promote awareness of climbing access issues. Known for his high energy slide shows featuring stunning photography and awesome live music by DJ Highball, Kurt's show is sure to leave your palms sweating for more!" But the reviewers are saying this: "His slide show was kinda short but ok. Could not see with all the people standing in front of me sometimes. It was like "here's some ** climbing ***. Next is *** on ***". He's quick about it.... I have seen better shows." "...sooooo weak. as an example we were treated to slides of people bouldering indoors." And what about "DJ Highball"? "I saw Kurt in the Smoke Bluffs on Sunday. He smiled and said Hi." I should be SOOOOOO lucky! RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: And check the most recent batch of suspects/LOSER horses' rears! All apparently American "citizens" who may have traveled to "train" at the same Afghani camp as Little Johnny Taliban-Loser. The price of a free society does not include tolerating those whose aim is to destroy it. RURP has spoken. [ 09-15-2002, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: RURP ]

This is RURP: "Me thinks RURP should quote RURP's sources." I thought I cited my source indirectly when I referred to ScottP's message as the link to the source at "the Onion". And I did not sign my usual "RURP has spoken" because I can not take credit for such a clever, and hopefully true piece of writing. But I am more than happy to direct others to its origination: The whole citation is: The Onion, Vol. 35(34) 26 September 2001 URL=http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/hijackers_surprised.html RURP has spoken. By the way, what kind of odd English is "me thinks?" They never taught me that one!

This is RURP: Thanks, Scott P. for the happy news from hell. For those who don't want to look on the spooky face of Mohammed LOSER Atta who makes me wanna PUKE!!!, here is the text of the dispatch. (Thanks again, Scott P.!) JAHANNEM, OUTER DARKNESS—The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's Hell. "I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?" The rest of Atta's words turned to raw-throated shrieks, as a tusked, asp-tongued demon burst his eyeballs and drank the fluid that ran down his face. According to Hell sources, the 19 eternally damned terrorists have struggled to understand why they have been subjected to soul-withering, infernal torture ever since their Sept. 11 arrival. "There was a tumultuous conflagration of burning steel and fuel at our gates, and from it stepped forth these hijackers, the blessed name of the Lord already turning to molten brass on their accursed lips," said Iblis The Thrice-Damned, the cacodemon charged with conscripting new arrivals into the ranks of the forgotten. "Indeed, I do not know what they were expecting, but they certainly didn't seem prepared to be skewered from eye socket to bunghole and then placed on a spit so that their flesh could be roasted by the searing gale of flatus which issues forth from the haunches of Asmoday." "Which is strange when you consider the evil with which they ended their lives and those of so many others," added Iblis, absentmindedly twisting the limbs of hijacker Abdul Aziz Alomari into unspeakably obscene shapes. "I was told that these Americans were enemies of the one true religion, and that Heaven would be my reward for my noble sacrifice," said Alomari, moments before his jaw was sheared away by faceless homunculi. "But now I am forced to suckle from the 16 poisoned leathern teats of Gophahmet, Whore of Betrayal, until I burst from an unwholesome engorgement of curdled bile. This must be some sort of terrible mistake." Exacerbating the terrorists' tortures, which include being hollowed out and used as prophylactics by thorn-cocked Gulbuth The Rampant, is the fact that they will be forced to endure such suffering in sight of the Paradise they were expecting. "It might actually be the most painful thing we can do, to show these murderers the untold pleasures that would have awaited them in Paradise, if only they had lived pious lives," said Praxitas, Duke of Those Willingly Led Astray. "I mean, it's tough enough being forced through a wire screen by the callused palms of Halcorym and then having your entrails wound onto a stick and fed to the toothless, foul-breathed swine of Gehenna. But to endure that while watching the righteous drink from a river of wine? That can't be fun." Underworld officials said they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists. "Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them," said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. "But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them."

"LOOK AT ME!!!" "I'M SHRINKING...BECAUSE I AM A WORLD-CLASS DUMB-ASS AND LOSER!!!

This is RURP: The fact that these half-wits pulled off their stunt is not a testament to their intelligence, but an indication of how lazy and complacent the U.S. became after the fall of the Soviet Union. These guys are really not very smart, but devious enough to find the many easily found holes in our free society. LOSERS!!!!!! RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: "Ramzi Binalshibh, a key loser and al Qaeda member accused of helping plan the Sept. 11 hijacked plane attacks on the United States, has been captured in Pakistan, U.S. officials said on Friday. U.S. officials have said the Yemeni national, who was refused a visa into the United States at least four times before Sept. 11, 2001, wanted to join the 19 loser hijackers involved in last year's attack. Binalshibh was one of the roommates of Mohamed Atta -- the spooky-eyed "suspected" loser ringleader of the hijackers --in Hamburg, Germany. He is also known as Ramzi bin al-Shaibah-Loser. Binalshibh is suspected of helping plan attacks and was very prominent in the Hamburg cell. His capture was considered a significant development in the U.S. goal of destroying the network of world-class losers, the officials said." RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: Do you really think this 9-11 conspirator/horse's ass could even graduate from elementary school???? He looks like he's half-stoned, half-asleep and half-witted like his terrorist colleagues! RURP has spoken.

This is RURP: I've met Donna. She was fun and bought me a beer once. RURP has spoken.

This is RURP. Check out this recently apprehended world-class LOSER!!!! MAY HE ROT IN HELL WITH HIS OTHER 9-11 BUDDIES!!!! RURP has spoken! [ 09-13-2002, 10:44 PM: Message edited by: RURP ]