allthumbs

HOOTERS @ Chandlers ...I'd join ya but I have a date with your GF

I'll come if you promise to give me a BJ and $50

What's a no-fail seduction line? "Tell 'em you got a big truck and a big dick"

I love that fuckin' website. Thanks for the heads-up, cocksucker.

”So tell me Cooter, what's the best way to initate a threesome?” ”The most important thing to remember here is that you got to take care not to make the other one jealous. Believe me, that'll happen. Oftentimes it's a recipe for disaster. Still a lot of goddamn fun though, I can tell you that for shit sure.”

I was just thinking, if buried shallow enough, jon could use me for a bike rack.

when my life is over and my time has come to pass I hope they bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass

A male friend of mine is having a hard time making his girlfriend come. What's your advice for him? First of all, he should give her to me. Because, goddamn, I'd lick her cross-eyed.

The ladies have already seen a photo of your 'Fugliness'. About all you have to bring to the table is 'rug burn'.

Your value doesn't even amount to the kunt hairs that fall off my grandmother. Do your keepers a huge favor - go skydiving without a parachute, you unintelligible cum-spitting bobblehead.

scratchandsniff - eat shit and die beyotch

hahaha, yeah DOCK-TOR-RAVENOUS-POOP-CHUTE

First point, I'm not an overly big fan of moderators. That said, I must conclude that Minx has done a stellar job of moderating, or perhaps I should say 'not moderating much'. Kudos to you Minx . Now, about that BJ

that's just dumb

Kitten you slut, let's get real here. You have never managed to get laid without the aid of moonlight, bushes, a balaclava and a Bowie knife (or, failing either of the aforementioned: a mortuary and an open window). You're not my type. Trask

Kitten, Judging by the abject and degrading manner in which you repeatedly prostrated yourself before me, I can only conclude that you have mistaken me for one of your paying clients. In case I haven't made my feelings clear: fuck off. Trask

Dear Trask: I have an odd problem. Lately guys always ask me out online, but they don't really mean it. Each time I fall for it. Recently, one guy asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said yes because I do. Then he replied with "I was just kidding. I'm guessing that happens a lot to you, doesn't it?" It was so mean and sudden, I had no time to think of a good comeback. Then another time this other guy was talking to me about his friend he said "my friend thinks you're hot, but I have no idea why." Again I had to comeback. If you could offer me a few, I would appreciate it. Thanx. Kitten Kitten, perplexed pea-brained puppy: Good Lord! Why don't modems come with mandatory IQ testing? Really, I should sue modem manufacturers for the damage inflicted on my IQ by having to read idiotic PM's like yours. That being said, let's address your inconsequential 'problem.' Basically, you are overly-sensitive to the vagaries of the libidos and dalliances of others. In words you can understand without tilting your head, squinting at your screen, and mouthing the words: you need to toughen up. Besides, why are you flirting with other guys if you have a boyfriend? What does it matter if no-one applies for a vacancy that doesn't exist? Do you place ads in newspapers selling a car that you don't own, and then complain when no-one replies; or replies, but isn't interested? Child, you are as devoid of logic as a comatose crackhead. Anyway, if the issue is a mild slight to your attractiveness, retort like-for-like with: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder: which is why your parents had their eyelids sewn shut" or "They say beauty is skin deep: I guess you must have really thick skin." Those are rather ladylike. If the issue is guys being assholes, then go for the jugular. A sharp conversation stopper would be: "Anyway, I better let you get back to trying to crack that triple-combination padlock on your mother's panty drawers. By the way, she really doesn't believe you when you tell her you accidentally spilled ice cream on her panties." or "You should put a lump of coal in your bottom drawer; and by the time you found a woman willing to sleep with you, you'll have a diamond for the ring." Aww, climbers in lurve. I hope this helps, Trask

butter for eatin oleo for cookin simple enuf

yeah, I heard you is da master sperm burper roun here

that was plain mean, you wannabe sausage jockey

hey sista, when they were handing out brains, you thought they said 'trains' and asked for a slow one