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Posted
Gettin colder!
As my Grandpa would have said... "You'd complain if you were hung with a new rope"... God rest his soul.

 

Here is a shot of him in action. Funniest thing about him being in this commercial is we did not see it, or even know he was in it, till about a year AFTER he died. Pretty weird watching the tube and seeing yer dead Grandpa on TV. We never did figure out how he got in the commercial in the first place.

 

Maybe your sig should be "I'm having , chest, chest, chest pains"...

 

[video:youtube]

 

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
Gettin colder!
Yep. It’s true. All of it. I shoulda known better... How could I ever have succeeded, taking on such an impossible case like this? OK, I admit it. It was a huge mistake. I guess I’m just a sucker for someone in need… Like, sometimes, when I pull up at that busy intersection, and I see the poor guy asking me for change, I just can’t resist. I can’t help but give him the rest of my 24oz 4Loco. Which, coincidentally, was getting a bit warm.

 

In this case, we have someone who has every opportunity, talent and community support available to succeed in his signature quest. Yet, somehow, he is still stifled by such an easy, day to day, routine task. I wish I could empathize with him on a more personal level, but it’s just not possible. After all, I don’t have

. Never have. But, from the looks of it, it must be embarrassingly painful. Lucky for me, I am blessed with a signature that is not only easy to remember, it also sounds good, with a nice ring to it. Not to mention, only slightly plagiarized.

 

Never the less, our poor boy here is not so fortunate. Trashie is one only a few such extreme cases. Those that suffer from his particular Sociospraylemia are definitely a breed apart. Only a slight fraction, of a fraction, of a fraction, of the whole pie. A mere black pebble, in an otherwise white pile of salt. Though we have all pitched in and tried to make him feel at home, like one of the tribe, he still can’t quite figure it out. . . Personally, I’ve offered plenty of suitable sigs, again and again, to no avail. It looks like I’ve done all I can do here. No matter how many signature options he has, none of them are good enough, smart enough, and, dog-gonnit, nobody likes em. Just remember, it’s OK. It’s not really his fault. Really! Some people are just dealt a bad hand at the roulette table… One sandwich short of the top of the ladder… As my dear mum puts it so well... “Life isn’t always a bowl of roses”. So remember, next time trashie bashes you upside the head with some useless factoid, angry put down, stellar photo, or even worse, another soggy TR, you just try and remember, it’s not really his fault for being such an ass. After all, he is, and will always be, KING OF THE ASS CANDLES!

 

Posted
In this case, we have someone who has every opportunity, talent and community support available to succeed in his signature quest. Yet, somehow, he is still stifled by such an easy, day to day, routine task.

 

Well, your quest to help him out has been cracking me up Dave, but I thought you guys had it nailed down on the other thread.

(I'm) A spoiled, ungrateful, self important, and entitled douche indeed.

 

I'd try and fit the words "jackass", and "mean-spirited worthless hemorrhoid Douchefuck" in there someplace as well.

 

:wave:

Posted
In this case, we have someone who has every opportunity, talent and community support available to succeed in his signature quest. Yet, somehow, he is still stifled by such an easy, day to day, routine task.

 

Well, your quest to help him out has been cracking me up Dave, but I thought you guys had it nailed down on the other thread.

(I'm) A spoiled, ungrateful, self important, and entitled douche indeed.

 

I'd try and fit the words "jackass", and "mean-spirited worthless hemorrhoid Douchefuck" in there someplace as well.

 

:wave:

Recon I'm too civlized fer that...
Posted
Kinda wondering just how long Billcoe and DD will keep this troll going. I'm amazed at the attention so far...hell, I've never even met either one of 'em.

 

I must have something they want....whatever could it be?

Yeah, I think it might be time for Bill and I to move on over and see if we can get a new Care Bear? That's usually a pretty easy and entertaining way to kill a few minutes.

 

It's a shame poor trashie can't find his new sig. At least we did our charitable deed for the new year... It's OK, though trashie, we all need at least one Ass Candle in our life.

Posted

I must have something they want....whatever could it be?

Hmmm, I think I know what I want... You could move over to Super Tacos, that would be a good start. I'm sure there are plenty of intellectual inferiors you can bully all day long... Heck, they might even be able to help you out with yer signature dilemma?

 

Can't say we didn't offer a helping hand to a brother in need. Yet, you just turn your nose up and keep complaining. Ingrate!

  • 11 months later...
Posted
"Hey, I don't want to honk my own horn, but, BEEP, BEEP!" :moondance: sickie
After re-reading all this worthless drivel again, I think this one is still a top contender.

 

"Expert on personal interactions, moderation in all things, and good living in general. Unsolicited life-advice given for free."

Posted

I know you have all been waiting on pins and needles for the finalist in this incredible quest to find a new sig for our sensa masta, great extroidinare, his mageci himself, KING of the ASSCANDLES, With no due further delay, I present to you, the three final entry's.

 

"Hey, I don't want to honk my own horn, but, BEEP, BEEP!" :moondance: sickie

 

"Beating down the less fortunate, one post at a time..."

 

(I'm) A spoiled, ungrateful, self important, and entitled douche indeed.

 

What shall it be?

 

 

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