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Diaper Clad Burglar Cries For Mama When Busted

VIRGINIA - Can you say goo-goo-goofball? Robert Alan Woods

was arrested after breaking into his neighbor's house and

waiting in her bed wearing nothing but a bib and diaper.

When his neighbor returned home and found him in bed, the

30-year-old Virginia man apologized and started getting

dressed. Woods admitted to police he gets sexual pleasure

from dressing and acting like a baby and says he is sorry

for what he did. According to court records Woods already

faces two other parole hearings for burglary and diaper-

wearing. Judge Jonathan Apgar has ordered Woods to undergo

a psychological evaluation before sentencing in this case.

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Veggieboy got a new rifle, so he wentbear hunting. He saw a small blackbear and shot it. He felt a tap on hisshoulder. He turned around and came faceto face with a big black bear.The bear said, "you've got two choices, I maul you, or we have rough sex".

Veggie decided to bend over.

He was sore for two weeks, he recoveredand vowed revenge. He headed out onanother trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Again there was a tap on his shoulder. This time it was a huge grizzlybear. The grizzly said "you made a big misteak, you've got two choices, either Imaul you to death or we have rough sex".

Veggie thought it might be better to complywith the bears wishes, and bent over...

Although it it was a couple of months,Veggie recovered. He was outraged, he decided to find the grizzly and shoot himnot once but several times, just to make sure he was dead.

Feeling rather giddy, he didn't notice a really, really big polar bear behind him.

The bear finally got his attention and said to Veggie, "Admit it Veg, you don'treally come here for the hunting, do you?"

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Artist granted right to an afterlife in arms of latex love

A GERMAN artist has been given official permission to be buried with a blow-up sex doll when he dies after local authorities checked the latex material for environmental friendliness.

Karl-Friedrich Lentze (54), has spent the past 10 years alone after separating from his wife and wants to be buried with his arms around his plastic passion.

When Mr Lentze, who lives near Koblenz, made his will, he wrote that he wanted to be buried in his home town of Schwerin, near Bonn, but not alone.

"I would like, with all due respect, to ask whether it would be possible to have an inflated sex doll laid to rest with me in the coffin," he wrote to the Bonn office for graveyards and burials.

Once the German bureaucrats made their checks, they replied: "Everything that is contained in the coffin has to be made from materials containing just carbon, hydrogen and oxygen. Our research has shown that the inclusion of materials made of pure latex would give no cause for concern." (Daily Telegraph, London)

[geek]

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Veggie -- A friend of mine sent me this after I got a steady gurl:

List of Things to Do With Your Blow Up Doll Now

1 Hold your beer in one of the many "love orifices"

2 Ride on your motorcycle with the doll on the back

3 Access the car-pool lane on the local freeway

4 Lay it on the train tracks, Wait for excitement to happen

5 Send to a friend, see if they mention it or if they suddenly start spending evenings with a mysterious new "friend"

6 Put Baby Ruth Candy Bar in Rear "Love Orifice" Leave in the sun

7 Dare friends to eat Baby Ruth

8 Fill with Helium, carry around attached to a string

9 Bring Helium filled doll to post office. Tell clerk you want to ship it to Japan and that they owe you money

10 Makes a good scarecrow

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Male Strippers Take Note: Female Customers Grope More

VICTORIA, B.C. (Wireless Flash) -- Guys, if your current job doesn't grab you, become a male stripper. You'll get grabbed all the time -- but not always when you want it.That's the touchy truth from Fawnia Mondey, author of a new book, "Stripper Success Secrets" (Skyline Services).

She says dancing for a female audience is physically demanding in more ways than one. For instance, some dancers have to wear a rubber band on their sex organ to ensure their Full Monty stays full.

That's not all. Mondey says female customers are very grabby, sometimes squeezing the dancers' privates during performances.

In addition, ladies are bad tippers and very picky, wanting strippers with perfect rhythm AND a perfect bod.

As a result, Mondey says many straight male strippers prefer gay clubs where the customers tip big but aren't so hands-on.

[Wazzup]cool.gif" border="0grin.gif" border="0rolleyes.gif" border="0[Moon]

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