Sick of Fucking American Politics Bullshit

[gertlush]

We thought you burger-eating buggering bastards might try something like this so our sleeper agents are already in place. As we say here in the frozen north "this is only the tip of the iceberg".

 

 

 

 

 

 

[tvashtarkatena]

Canadians have suffered under the oppression of Timmy Hortons long enough

 

[G-spotter]

Just leave your peanut butter at the border.

[bstach]

Better get used to hear about American politics because we may run short of water and oil in the not so distant future.

Don't you mean you altruistic bastards will send a liberating force to bring us freedom and democracy?

[LostCamKenny]

Back in the 1980s the citizens of Desmond,Ontario needed to raise money to renovate their school. How would these brilliant people do it? A raffle? A rummage sale? A bake sale? No, "Manurefest." They filled 600 bags with manure and sold them for $3 each. Some were sheep manure (sold as "Ewedunnit"), and some were cow manure, and some were a guinea fowl-hen blend. Event spokesman Henk Reininck said, "Some of it was vintage manure - eight years old. And it don't smell at all." Manurefest has become an annual event. Next to the manure, they now sell baked goods.

[G-spotter]

how do you know which is which?

[LostCamKenny]

...taste, probably.

[LostCamKenny]

In Quesnel, BC, it is still a legal requirement to have an out door outhouse, at least 20 feet (6 metres) from your house, but not more than 100 feet (30 metres). It has to be "fly tight", too.

[LostCamKenny]

On that note, In Tiverton, a tiny island community in Nova Scotia, "Outhouse" is the most common last name.

[LostCamKenny]

Interesting Laws you've got up there, eh?

 

1) It is legal for women to go topless in public in Ontario.

 

2) In Oak Bay, BC garbage crews don't have to pick up your trash if it "oozes."

 

3) It's against the law to have a toilet room smaller than 1 square meter in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

 

 

[LostCamKenny]

Canada has more doughnut shops per capita than any other country on earth - one for every 9000 of its 30 million residents. Which is your favorite, marc?

[LostCamKenny]

Over the 2000 holiday season, officals in Edmonton, Alberta, tried to encourage motorists to obey the rules of the road by having police officers in unmarked cars find and reward the safest drivers in town. Traffic officers tailed drivers for as long as half an hour to determine if they were truly law-abiding, then pulled the puzzled motorists over and offered them a free steak dinner for two at "Tom Goodchild's Moose Factory."

[gertlush]

In Quesnel, BC, it is still a legal requirement to have an out door outhouse, at least 20 feet (6 metres) from your house, but not more than 100 feet (30 metres). It has to be "fly tight", too.

 

Errr..no... I live an hour away from there & that aint't the case...

 

however my town does have it's own unique civic holiday called "Wrestling day" I shit you not! (January 2nd)

[LostCamKenny]

do you own a bazoo, gert?

[G-spotter]

Wrestling Day is also a fun limestone route just over da fraser as I recall it. Moon road crag?

[LostCamKenny]

my town does have it's own unique civic holiday called "Wrestling day" I shit you not! (January 2nd)

 

is this a day to exercise your molson muscles?

[gertlush]

I've heard of that crag but haven't been there yet...all kinds of interesting looking limestone around the Fraser too. Just done a few things at Esler bluff which is a 1/2 hour drive down like a 5k logging road, shitty! Not bad sport climbs though. Apparently there is some local ice & Marble's only about 2 1/2 hours away so that's not bad.

 

Wrestling Day is sort of like the running of the bulls. We all put our best overalls on & they release a herd of mad, testosterone injected cattle onto the downtown streets. Then we try to wrestle 'em down.. the winner is crowned that year's "Stampede King" and is given the keys to the grand prize 1986 rusted out F150.

[LostCamKenny]

Wrestling Day is sort of like the running of the bulls. We all put our best overalls on & they release a herd of mad, testosterone injected cattle onto the downtown streets. Then we try to wrestle 'em down.. the winner is crowned that year's "Stampede King" and is given the keys to the grand prize 1986 rusted out F150.

 

... so risk getting schmucked by mad cattle for the joy of being called the stampede king? sounds invigorating though i can't say that a hayride is any more intelligent an activity...

[LostCamKenny]

is there a "polar bear club" in the lake after the stampede so participants can wash off the shit they get on themselves from the cattle as they wrestle them to the ground?

[gertlush]

Only someone who has never been Stampede King would say that...

 

Lake's well frozen by January... however that works well for my ambition to break the world land speed record on a snowmobile

[LostCamKenny]

Only someone who has never been Stampede King would say that...

... clearly.

[LostCamKenny]

Lake's well frozen by January... however that works well for my ambition to break the world land speed record on a snowmobile

 

ice fishing, anyone?

[LostCamKenny]

have you been the stampede king before, gert?

[G-spotter]

Le roi est mort, vive le roi.

 

As you can see from this, the King's name is Mort.

[LostCamKenny]

In 1946 the following ad appeared in several southern california newspapers: "wanted: congressman candidate with no previous political experience to defeat a man who has represented the district in the house for 10 years. Any young man, resident of the district, preferable a veteran, fair education, may apply for the job."

 

The ad had been placed by the republican party. a man who answered the ad was awarded the job and did in fact defeat incumbent Jerry Voorhis after a dirty campaign. the man who kicked off his political career by replying to a want ad...

 

...Richard M. Nixon.