[TR] The Columns - Ski Tracks--Aid 4/28/2009

[rocky_joe]

Trip: The Columns - Ski Tracks--Aid

 

Date: 4/28/2009

 

Trip Report:

So I know what you're thinking, "Why the fuck is this kid writing about some lame fucking day at the columns?" Am I right? Well, normally that is exactly what I would say in response to a TR that boasts the location of the columns' caliber just before clicking the link out of morbid curiosity. Well, trust me there's a story, and besides you've already clicked the link so might as well sit back and relax while I spin you a mid-week aiding yarn. (and besides, how many times have you read one of those Ivan aid TRs from beacon?)

 

6:09--"hey thomas, just got out of the library, fuck my life man...this 3 midterms and 2 papers in 3 days is killing me."

--"tell me about it. what's say we go aid the columns?"

--"... fuck yeah, but how bout we make it the shortest two pitch in the world and get some big wall practice...some of those guys on CC.com talked about doing that back in the day."

 

Less than 30 mins later Thomas and I arrived at the columns, unaware of the miniature epic that awaited a mere 20' over head. Etriers tied and gear racked I took the lead for the first pitch.

"nice dude, you're on." I started "climbing" and within maybe 20 minutes had completed my fantastically uneventful aid pitch of the same crack I've free'd at least a dozen times. I built an anchor (blue stopper, orange metolius, purple stopper *important details*) and set thomas up on his new fangled reverso^3 and began belaying him up. Being the kid he is, thomas didn't bring his jumars, so a free attempt (in tennis shoes)it was. His climb went quite smoothly and seemed that the cruxes were getting out the gear my fat ass had weighted. a few more minutes (and takes) and thomas was up to me.

 

*NOTE: hanging belay, anchor has now held body weight x2 for over 20 mins*

 

Thomas cloved in and we racked him up for his lead. Thomas being a bit greener than I when it comes to aid (although he schools me in real climbing, especially that crack shit) required a few bits of beta. The first few pieces involved me giving him pointers on what I've found to be most efficient and he carried them out quite nicely. He placed his first piece, a beautifully placed blue stopper, stepped up and then came a yellow metolius. good placement, good test tugs, good step. Thomas was moving quite smoothly albeit slowly and then "pop."

 

My mind didn't register the sensation of falling until a few moments after my fall had been arrested. Sitting at my anchor I was talking Thomas through some, now unimportant, minutia of aid technique, when all of a sudden I was 4' lower. The purple stopper, #4, had popped and I had fallen. How the fuck it happened I don't know...it had held body weight x2 for over 40 mins now, why the fuck did it just go like that? (I can only assume we were unknowingly filming the sequel to Vertical Limit) I didn't really have much time to care, because I was not 4' below the one piece that was holding my weight. I had thomas send me down some gear and quickly built a new, even more bomb proof anchor.

 

in the meanwhile Thomas fixed the rope to his highest piece as a backup for the one piece holding me up. As soon as my new anchor was built I was in it, and Thomas could once again begin climbing. Fuck that was scary, and for all the tension of the past few moments the next bit of Thomas' lead was just as horrifying. I now didn't trust any of my pieces, but I didn't have a choice, because unlike David Blaine I cannot levitate. Thomas' last piece before the lip took him all of forever to figure out (it was now well past dark o'clock...I have now been hanging for over an hour and my legs are asleep, I am impatient and feeling light headed. Thomas finally finagles a black metolius (my largest piece, God a green would have been fantastic) into a good high point, steps up and crests the lip.

 

With the rope fixed I begin to jug it (which takes be all of forever to figure out in my shaken, light headed state). A couple moments later I've cleared my mind with one exception, getting off this goddamn rock. In a matter of (what felt like) a few moments I am up top and untied. I spend a good few minutes getting the shock loaded clove out of the rope and the make sure that I have all the gear that we took up. I toss the rope and Thomas (who had been talking to some train bum the whole time I've been jugging) catches it and begins to flake. The climb is over...thank god.

 

So what did tonight prove? Why did I write this? maybe mostly for my own enjoyment...but really I guess I felt there was a little epic worth telling. I guess I have finally realized that it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to head out of doors with Thomas and not have a routine adventure like a normal person; shit always seems to hit the fan with this kid. I mean, fuck, we can't even spend an evening at the columns without a scare. Well, what am I gonna do...not like anyone else will put up with me and my shit. So for now looks like I'll just keep climbing and expecting the unexpected.

 

Gear Notes:

yellow-black metolius (x2 orange)

1.5 rack of BD stoppers

5-7 hexcentrics

(I know it's a huge rack, right?)

 

Approach Notes:

cheese burger on a bagel, and the 5 block walk to Thomas' apt

[ivan]

[billcoe]

Trip: The Columns - Ski Tracks--Aid

 

Date: 4/28/2009

 

Trip Report:

So I know what you're thinking, "Why the fuck is this kid writing about some lame fucking day at the columns?" Am I right? Well, normally that is exactly what I would say in response to a TR that boasts the location of the columns' caliber just before clicking the link out of morbid curiosity. Well, trust me there's a story, and besides you've already clicked the link so might as well sit back and relax while I spin you a mid-week aiding yarn. (and besides, how many times have you read one of those Ivan aid TRs from beacon?)

 

6:09--"hey thomas, just got out of the library, fuck my life man...this 3 midterms and 2 papers in 3 days is killing me."

--"tell me about it. what's say we go aid the columns?"

--"... fuck yeah, but how bout we make it the shortest two pitch in the world and get some big wall practice...some of those guys on CC.com talked about doing that back in the day."

 

Less than 30 mins later Thomas and I arrived at the columns, unaware of the miniature epic that awaited a mere 20' over head. Etriers tied and gear racked I took the lead for the first pitch.

"nice dude, you're on." I started "climbing" and within maybe 20 minutes had completed my fantastically uneventful aid pitch of the same crack I've free'd at least a dozen times. I built an anchor (blue stopper, orange metolius, purple stopper *important details*) and set thomas up on his new fangled reverso^3 and began belaying him up. Being the kid he is, thomas didn't bring his jumars, so a free attempt (in tennis shoes)it was. His climb went quite smoothly and seemed that the cruxes were getting out the gear my fat ass had weighted. a few more minutes (and takes) and thomas was up to me.

 

*NOTE: hanging belay, anchor has now held body weight x2 for over 20 mins*

 

Thomas cloved in and we racked him up for his lead. Thomas being a bit greener than I when it comes to aid (although he schools me in real climbing, especially that crack shit) required a few bits of beta. The first few pieces involved me giving him pointers on what I've found to be most efficient and he carried them out quite nicely. He placed his first piece, a beautifully placed blue stopper, stepped up and then came a yellow metolius. good placement, good test tugs, good step. Thomas was moving quite smoothly albeit slowly and then "pop."

 

My mind didn't register the sensation of falling until a few moments after my fall had been arrested. Sitting at my anchor I was talking Thomas through some, now unimportant, minutia of aid technique, when all of a sudden I was 4' lower. The purple stopper, #4, had popped and I had fallen. How the fuck it happened I don't know...it had held body weight x2 for over 40 mins now, why the fuck did it just go like that? (I can only assume we were unknowingly filming the sequel to Vertical Limit) I didn't really have much time to care, because I was not 4' below the one piece that was holding my weight. I had thomas send me down some gear and quickly built a new, even more bomb proof anchor.

 

in the meanwhile Thomas fixed the rope to his highest piece as a backup for the one piece holding me up. As soon as my new anchor was built I was in it, and Thomas could once again begin climbing. Fuck that was scary, and for all the tension of the past few moments the next bit of Thomas' lead was just as horrifying. I now didn't trust any of my pieces, but I didn't have a choice, because unlike David Blaine I cannot levitate. Thomas' last piece before the lip took him all of forever to figure out (it was now well past dark o'clock...I have now been hanging for over an hour and my legs are asleep, I am impatient and feeling light headed. Thomas finally finagles a black metolius (my largest piece, God a green would have been fantastic) into a good high point, steps up and crests the lip.

 

With the rope fixed I begin to jug it (which takes be all of forever to figure out in my shaken, light headed state). A couple moments later I've cleared my mind with one exception, getting off this goddamn rock. In a matter of (what felt like) a few moments I am up top and untied. I spend a good few minutes getting the shock loaded clove out of the rope and the make sure that I have all the gear that we took up. I toss the rope and Thomas (who had been talking to some train bum the whole time I've been jugging) catches it and begins to flake. The climb is over...thank god.

 

So what did tonight prove? Why did I write this? maybe mostly for my own enjoyment...but really I guess I felt there was a little epic worth telling. I guess I have finally realized that it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to head out of doors with Thomas and not have a routine adventure like a normal person; shit always seems to hit the fan with this kid. I mean, fuck, we can't even spend an evening at the columns without a scare. Well, what am I gonna do...not like anyone else will put up with me and my shit. So for now looks like I'll just keep climbing and expecting the unexpected.

 

Gear Notes:

yellow-black metolius (x2 orange)

1.5 rack of BD stoppers

5-7 hexcentrics

(I know it's a huge rack, right?)

 

Approach Notes:

cheese burger on a bagel, and the 5 block walk to Thomas' apt

 

A worthy read fer sure rj!

[letsroll]

EEEEEEEpic

[WageSlave]

(and besides, how many times have you read one of those Ivan aid TRs from beacon?)

 

Ivan, look what you've unleashed! Is nothing sacred anymore?!?

 

[ivan]

(and besides, how many times have you read one of those Ivan aid TRs from beacon?)

 

Ivan, look what you've unleashed! Is nothing sacred anymore?!?

 

this post is clearly not my fault - if it had been truly inspired then me it would have made far less sense and been far more vulgar - plus, where's the soundtrack!? you gotta start the show w/ whatever fucktard lyric that incessantly rang in your hand while the grim reaper but his icy claw around yer nutsack!

[sweatinoutliquor]

Dude, that's a funny read. Glad to hear it's possible to epic 20' off the ground. Weird about your anchor... Just out of curiosity, when you dropped 4', how did that affect thomas? Did he arrest your fall, or was it your anchor? Did 2 parts of your 3 part anchor fail, or just one? Anyway, sorry to make more out of this than it is. Next time you go up there you should bring your bolt gun and the nitro.

 

 

[rocky_joe]

When the piece blew, I was caught by the anchor, not thomas...although the fall should have been much shorter. I did fuck up and only made it so the anchor was equalized at three pieces...the blue nut held the fall and the cam was pretty useless. Reason...I didn't twist the left hand loop, and didn't tie in a shelf since the 8' sling would have created unacceptable angles...should have had longer sling or simply "x'd" the loop between the blue nut and cam.

 

About the soundtrack...would have included it, but I was pretty sure that Ivan holds some sort of TR licensing for that...I'm not a big fan of those sort of lawsuits. (the song was "We fly high" by Jim Jones...ballin!

Edited April 29, 2009 by rocky_joe

[sweatinoutliquor]

Cool, thanks for the clarification.

[Gerber]

Impressive, ski tracks is a fun route but on aid sounds like an adventure