Seahawks Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Subject: FW: TECH SUPPORT!! Date: Thu, 17 May 2007 19:13:43 +0000 Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! Thanks, Troubled User. (KEEP READING) REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is! a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Short Skirt Secretary 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counterfeitfake Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 1995 called, they want you back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 1995 called, they want you back. I'll go warm up the DeLorean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Your wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks Posted May 22, 2007 Author Share Posted May 22, 2007 None of you got a chuckle?? Line from Man from Snowy River "expand your mind, Have a beer, no have two beers." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 I'll go drink two beers and get back to you with a chuckle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks Posted May 22, 2007 Author Share Posted May 22, 2007 I'll go drink two beers and get back to you with a chuckle. Come back with the short skirt and we all may get a chuckle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Um, fuck off. And try to come up with something clever... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks Posted May 22, 2007 Author Share Posted May 22, 2007 Um, fuck off. And try to come up with something clever... like "I'll go warm up the DeLorean." Okay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Um, fuck off. And try to come up with something clever... like "I'll go warm up the DeLorean." Okay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 None of you got a chuckle?? Did you get a chuckle when you saw your dick? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks Posted May 22, 2007 Author Share Posted May 22, 2007 None of you got a chuckle?? Did you get a chuckle when you saw your dick? No but I got a chuckle when they compared yours to a hyperdermic needle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counterfeitfake Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 WHERE IS THE FUNNY WIFE JOKE, YOU DOUCHEBAG? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 WHERE IS THE FUNNY WIFE JOKE, YOU DOUCHEBAG? thats what i was thinking... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 None of you got a chuckle?? Line from Man from Snowy River "expand your mind, Have a beer, no have two beers." Seahawks, I like it, it's funny, but I have seen it many many times. I think it's stale and old is all, probably been around since it came out with Windows 95. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks Posted May 22, 2007 Author Share Posted May 22, 2007 None of you got a chuckle?? Line from Man from Snowy River "expand your mind, Have a beer, no have two beers." Seahawks, I like it, it's funny, but I have seen it many many times. I think it's stale and old is all, probably been around since it came out with Windows 95. Probably is. First time I'd seen it. someone at work sent it this AM. Had a laugh, though might make someone else laugh, guess not. Should have given some coal out and they could made some diamond up there asses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counterfeitfake Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 AWW, IT'S JUST THAT WE HATE YOU Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Nahh, type "wife 1.0 joke" in google. Ya get 656,000 responses. Like this: " Funny Gender Jokes - Wife 1.0 TO TECHNICAL SUPPORT: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs & launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this Wife 1.0. Can you help me, please!!! Otherwise, I'm screwed. Thanks, Joe. REPLY: DEAR JOE SCREWED This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade form Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in you manual under "Warnings-Alimony / Child Support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPF's). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command: C: \APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all the GPF's. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance to Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Best of luck. Tech Support." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Anyone in Tech Support would immediately recognize this as USER ERROR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks Posted May 22, 2007 Author Share Posted May 22, 2007 AWW, IT'S JUST THAT WE HATE YOU and I care about that why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 gandhi would have loved teh interweb - these tubes and wires clearly bring out the goodness in all of us - namaste bithces! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seahawks Posted May 22, 2007 Author Share Posted May 22, 2007 gandhi would have loved teh interweb - these tubes and wires clearly bring out the goodness in all of us - namaste bithces! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirwoofalot Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 None of you got a chuckle?? Did you get a chuckle when you saw your dick? No, but I got a chekle when I heard about yours! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_like_sun Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 This is the best wife joke I've ever read! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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